twisted fate
you were my lover, you were my life
through twisted fate i became your wife
plans and dream i held so true
never once quessing the real you
through lies and schemes you always told
searching over every rain bow for that pot of gold
always looking for greener grass
your head always turning at every pretty lass
years go by and i wonder why
you always felt the need to lie
you never knew that was true
i kept that part hidden from everyone including you
ther were things about that were alike
always running from those who would fight
years go by and your not here
i quess that because your over there
i built a life that is new
it a life built with out you
who would have known it would turn out this way
that i would forget you day by day
hardly thinkind of our life in the past
i'm kinda of glad it did not last
2006-10-28 15:23:22 · 13 answers · asked by ? 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
It is so beautiful! I really know what you are trying to say. And I don't mind rhyming because it really helps go the extra mile. You definitely have potential as a writer. And the best part is that I can feel where you are coming from.
2006-10-28 15:27:35 · answer #1 · answered by otter7 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It was good but here's a tip. Try ryming other words in the sentences besides just the last ones. Also try rhyming every other line. Mix it up....Just rhyming the last word is a little boring.
I like the content though, very meaninful.
2006-10-28 22:28:58 · answer #2 · answered by Amber 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Brilliant!!!! You enjoy your new life,I send my best wishes to you.Keep up the poetry,its really good to get all your emotions out.
2006-10-28 22:30:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
That was beautiful. I'm so sorry if it was based on personal experience.
2006-10-28 22:27:56 · answer #4 · answered by Special nobody 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It a bit sad, but it sound okay to me
2006-10-28 22:26:41 · answer #5 · answered by MJane21 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
truthfully that sucks.
it just doesnt flow. its like the fifth-grade-english-class choppy.
theres too many cliches, and your metaphors arent deep.
but good luck. i suggest starting over.
2006-10-28 22:27:31 · answer #6 · answered by idbangrobertplant 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
It's pretty good.
2006-10-28 22:30:47 · answer #7 · answered by Judas Rabbi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love It :)
2006-10-29 11:02:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's good!
=)
2006-10-28 22:25:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Pretty good :)
2006-10-28 22:27:41 · answer #10 · answered by Patricia S 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋