I have a friend, special friend to me. we became steady but broke up giving me a reason that she can't love me. i said its ok and i understand why. I put too much commitment in this relationship that if i wrote it down it will be a story book longer than the Da vinci's code! she knows i gave her lots of commitment but she repays me with somethings heartbreaking. she confess that she likes another guy too. i wanted to leave her for that but thinking again its like having a 1000 reason for me to stay with her but 1 reason for me to leave her. i try to handle this problem by calming myself down and try not to break down. and the irony is that i cant leave her but being with her hurts me lots. Now I'm confused....
2006-10-28 15:19:59 · 9 answers · asked by smileefacee_2 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I understand what you are saying. First off lets just admit it sucks. Now what to do?
What I hear you saying when you say you put commitments on the relationship is that you put expectations on the relationship; your expectations based upon what you think is best for you.
Commitments are choices we make for ourselves. Expections are choices others put on us.
You have to allow her to make her own choices and to do what she thinks is best for her. She is going to anyway. As far as this other guy is concerned, you may not like it but, he is NOT your problem. If she is wanting to see him, it is because she thinks that is best for her to date other guys therefore, if it wasn't him it would be someone else.
The best thing to do is avoid saying bad things to her about him, it will actually cause her to defend him and draw them even closer together and make you the common enemy of them both. If you tell her what she needs to do and to make her act the way that you want her to then you will seen as the guy with the problem. You want top avoid that at all cost.
You can't decide for her what is best for her. That is controlling and manuipulative and it doesn't work. Well, I take that back. It does work. It works real well at making her want to get away from you.
She will resist you and lash out; causing you more pain than the original problem. You never want your soultion to be worst than your original problem.
People say "you need to move on" But what does that mean and how do you do it? You move on by taking the focus off her and putting it back on you. What do you need to do to make your life better? And getting her to act a certain way does not count.
I don't have those specific answers for you. But I know that it isn't in getting something exteranal rather it is internal and it begins in just focusing on youself and not on what she needs to do.
Good Luck.
2006-10-28 15:51:11 · answer #1 · answered by quarterton2001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believed you have to let go of this relationship. The damaged have already being done when she confessed to you that she like another guy. Now when both of you are together, how do you feel towards her? You feel hurt and at times you worry that she may betrayed you. The worse thing is that you may slowly lost confidence in either her or the relationship.
I believed by carrying on with your life without her is a better choice even though you may have love her deeply but the fact she cheated you once and it may let you lost trust in her.
There are better girls out there who deserved your love more than her.
2006-10-29 01:10:36 · answer #2 · answered by Clown & Joker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you are confused and sounds like in love also. You need to let go of this girl, of course it is going to hurt, however, you will get over her. Why would you allow anyone to make you feel bad, she told you she has someone else. There fore she is being dishonest with you and the other man. This his crazy, you need to get some counseling or talk to a trusted friend and move on. Get a grip on yourself, and move forward. You are keeping her and dealing with the drama, and someone worth having is out there alone. There are many woman out there looking for a good guy. Good luck and God bless
2006-10-28 15:29:46 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's what you call love....I understand that its hard to let go but if you don't then in the end it will hurt more than it will if you end it now...so my suggestions is to move on. I know its going to be hard in the beginning but believe me in the long run..you're going to be happy that you did...Just think of it like this "Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave it broken than to hurt yourself putting it back together."
2006-10-28 15:28:59 · answer #4 · answered by Sexii Slim 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey, is this girl just using you for all the love you've given her? it takes 2 hands to clap...unless you want to be the one giving always and not receiving, you can carry on. maybe one time, she will realize that you're the one for her.
if not, keep your options...go out n meet other girls! hurray...one more straight guy out there for the girls!!
2006-10-30 01:49:14 · answer #5 · answered by Ms K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in case you have purely ever stated "hi!" and that became your first communication then he became probable being shy approximately all of it. in case you like him then save attempting as purely time and familiarity will convey him out of his shell. good luck!
2016-11-26 01:32:25 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey no sense in making urself unhappy if she dont want u leave her there r other girls out there
2006-10-28 15:28:09 · answer #7 · answered by zachsmomsh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she dosn't like you, it is her loss, trust me there are other fish in the sea, and, at least one is the write one for you.
PEACE
2006-10-28 15:32:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, to many words
2006-10-28 15:21:43 · answer #9 · answered by R & B 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋