please help me out with this divorce stuff?

Question

my parents got devorced two years ago and are still fighting about it all. my dad moved to west virginia and my mom (who has costody) is still in ohio. also my dad has gone out wiyh three women since the divorce. i need some help understandin this!! serious awnsers only please, thanks
:)smile?

the worst thing is that even though i'm 15 my parents seem to think that i can't understand anything going on.

Answer 1

Adult relationships are very complicated. Divorce, well even More complicating. We adults are more or less just big kids and like anyone else when we fight we act immature. It's like 2 13 yr olds fighting over something trivial. you'll do or say anything you can to hurt the person. It's not right but people in general act out when they are hurt. They don't realize how this is affecting you and they probably never thought to ask you sincerely, because they are wrapped up in their own emotions right now.

When a couple gets divorced there essentially starting there life over again. that's one of the hardest things to do. Your parents are angry confused and most likely scared. Your dad is acting out so to speak by dating other woman. He's just trying to find out if he's still desirable. He's feeling down because he had a woman and it didn't work out , he's afraid of committing again which is why he's dated 3 woman and he's also not on lock down anymore. He is free to see whomever he pleases. Yes it's frustrating and depressing even. Just realize that this is a normal phase he's going Through and eventually it'll pass. As for your mom , I don't know how she's handling it. She might be a little depressed maybe even stressed out. Just let her know that you're there for her if she wants to talk about and try do help her out with little things. Also tell her if you need to talk about it. After all this effect you the most because your the child. If you can't talk to your parents about it talk to someone you can trust maybe a school psychologist or someone to that effect. I know it sounds yucky but it's not and talking about what your feeling is the best way to get passed it. I went Through my parents divorce and it;'s not a happy road. But like everything else time heals all wounds , you 'll see. and if you can't find anyone to chat with about this and you need advice feel free to e-mail me @ [e-mail].

Good luck to you kiddo

Answer 2

I understand you're hurting. My parents divorced over six years ago and it still hurts. And I'm a 31 year old womand. They are both remarried, but they seem to be happy. So it sounds like your father is looking for happiness. And maybe your mom isn't ready to date yet.

In time you'll realize that it was for the best. Good Luck.

Answer 3

Hello First off if u get along with your parents and can openly talk to them then do so they always say they want us to talk let them have it so to speak. As far as your dad dating those women there aint much you can do besides tell him you are uncomfortable around different people and want one on one time with him. As for them fighting ask your mom why they are fighting its been two years and you cant take much more of it. They probably dont think you are affected by it or just not paying attention to that and wrapped up in hurting each other. Thats just my advice thats what i had to do with my parents and they finally realized no matter how much they hate each other they got to get along cuz of me.

Answer 4

Ok, my parents are getting divorsed too, but it sounds like your a lot younger than me. Basically, through all of this remember that both of your parents love you. It doesn't matter if your dad is going out with other women, that doesn't change that you are his child. Don't worry, because in the end, you'll end up as a good person because you went through this experience young.

Answer 5

I am sure it is very hard on you. It happens, parents get divorced.You must be in Ohio since your Mom got custody,
but it appeared you are living with your Dad. It's natural for your Dad to go out with other women now.....He first must take care of you. If he is doing so, don't worry. Its normal.
Hope everything turns out ok......it's been only two years, but I bet it seems like a lifetime to you. See, if he will take you out one afternoon, or Sunday with one of these women, or have him arrange to have you with any woman he has dated.
It's easy for me to say. Don't forget you are Number One, in both you Dad and Mom's heart.
My best to you.

Answer 6

As a mom who's been divorced twice, with a kid from both marriages, I can promise you one thing: the divorce had nothing at all to do with you.

Divorce happens mainly because people don't take time to really and truly, deeply, get to know each other before they get married. (Remember this when you start dating and thinking about marriage! Date someone for at least a year before getting engaged, and meet ALL their family at least once, and their parents and important people in their lives as often as possible - and be sure they do the same with your family & important people, like best friends and such. That way, you know more about the little quirks that everyone has - like which way to hang the toilet paper - and how they handle major events like Christmas and birthdays and all that, and you can see if their way of doing things can fit with your way of doing things.)

Anyway, dating advice aside, your parents have split, and if they are still fighting, it's between themselves 9although they may try to drag you into it) and it's probably over unresolved feelings of anger, disappointment and bitterness that their "idea" of marriage didn't work out (and they probably both had very different ideas, if you ask them).

As for your dad dating three women in two years, that's really not a lot of dating. Sounds like he's being pretty picky, to me...I know a lot of divorced men who just want to date someone different every weekend, if not every few hours! (they are not very happy people either, and they don't really like women as people, just as "arm candy") I wouldn't worry about your dad dating if I were you - he's probably grown up a bit (yes, grown ups do that) since the divorce and has some set ideas about the kind of woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with and what it will take to lead to a successful marriage.

I'd also encourage your mother to date, if I were you. Try to help her find single's groups in your area, maybe even at church or just get her to help out with volunteer activities (at your school, maybe? my kid's schools always had lots of opportunities for parents to get involved with school fundraisers and socialize with each other as well.) She will be more at peace with herself and with the ending of her previous marriage if she can find a nice man who will accept her for the wonderful person I'm sure she is (when she's not fighting with your dad!).

Best of luck to you, dear! Talk to and visit your dad as often as you can - he's the only dad you'll ever have!!

Answer 7

There is NO figuring out this divorce stuff. If anyone had the answer, it wouldnt be as common as it is.
As best as I can understand it. Divorce is like a war. It can last for years, and NO ONE wins.

Answer 8

Hey, no worries...
take it slowly on who you give blame, don't wreck their hearts with your distaste for their actions but be free of it, talk with them
seems to me that your dad has some commitment issues, let him try to find himself lovable again and time to be themselves again my parents have let by gones be gone bye byes and their doin fine, even got new siblings now but it was head wrecking how hard they both tried for so long to end up similarly...

Answer 9

The Divorce Handbook.

Answer 10

if your parents are divorced they are no longer married and you dad can go out with as many women as he wants to go out with. Your mother can go out with as many men as she wants to go out with.