A Very Touchy Situation?

Question

I Have Been Married For 4 Years. We Have 4 Children Ages 5-1. I Recently Ran Into An Old Friend Of Mine Who I Have Been In Love With For About 8 Years Now. She Has Always Loved Me As Well, But Neither One Of Us Ever Made The First Move. Now I Am Trapped In A Hole, And I Don't Know What To Do. I Love My Wife And My Children Very Much, But This Other Girl Means Alot To Me As Well. I Am Confused To The Point I Don't Know What To Do. Advice?

The Other Girl Is Happy For Me And My Family, She Does Not Want To Tears Us Apart. That Would Be The Last Thing She Would Want. Right Now We Are Still Just Good Friends, We Have Not Done Anything Wrong. But The More I See Her, The More My Feelings For Her Grow Stronger.

It Is Not Just A Sexual Attraction... Somehow I Feel More Than That When I Am Around Her.

Answer 1

We all have lost loves out there old friend , lovers or that someone we never met until it was too late.

Let her have a special place in your heart but remember these old feelings are probably more intense now that you may feel a little trapped my marriage and children. We always want what we shouldnt have. Dont destroy the lives of your children and your marriage because of temptation.

Answer 2

If you loved your wife and children as you say you do, then you would not even be in this situation asking us for advice. You would know that the right thing to do it stay FAR away from the old flame to absolutely insure that you make no ill judgements because of overwhelming physical feelings and do something you will regret later!! You need to tell the old flame this, I do not want to risk my marriage and hurt my family (because you don't) so we can no longer be in contact. And this means physically seeing each other and talking on the phone. All contact must stop immediately! Then take a deep breath and smile knowing you did the right thing NOW instead of after the infidelity occurs.

Answer 3

You need to forget your old g/f and not see her. So what if you still have feelings for her. You have a wife and children that you love. You would be a fool to give up your marriage for an old g/f that you still have feelings for.

I still have feelings for every woman I ever loved. You made a decision when you got married to stay with your wife and her only.

I think your confusion is because you are trying to make a decision based on your feelings. Emotions are not something to base your decisions on, no matter what some people say. Emotions must be acknowledged, but decisions are best when based on logic, reason, and values.

Don't ruin your life, your wife's, and your children's, become of some emotions you are having. You say that you are "in love" with this other woman. What most people talk of when they speak of "being in love" is really sexual attraction. Sexual attraction is not love.

Love is making a decision that you will act in the best interests of the other person. That is how a parent loves their children and that is real love between a husband and wife. I notice that you say that "you love" your wife and children and that you say that you are "in love" with this other woman.

Answer 4

Sounds like you have a BIG decision to make. The most unfortunate part is that there are children involved, and while I believe that people should be happy even if that means divorcing it's a big step for a family to go from together to apart. My suggestion is to spend some time apart from this other woman, don't see her for a good two months (no contact, no phone calls, no emailing, nothing). If after that time, you still feel this undeniable desire to be with her, you need to talk to your wife about it and consider your options. Whatever you do, though, don't CHEAT!!!

Answer 5

You need to let go of the past, of the fantasy, and look at reality. If you continue contact with this other woman you are going to destroy your marriage, your family, and possibly even friendships with extended family all for lust.

You didn't say if you had boys or girls, but fast forward 20 years and ask yourself if you would want someone doing this to one of your children. If they were the innocent one, and their spouse was having your thoughts. REALLY THINK about it.

The fact that you are even considering this amounts to an emotional affair, emotionally cheating on your wife and children. Any time you spend thinking about the other woman is time you cheat your wife and children out of.

Like someone else said, RUN away from this situation and don't look back before you do something that will cause pain and destruction.

Answer 6

You really need to step back and look at the big picture here. This isn't just about you, its about your wife and kids as well. what ever you decide to do will effect them for the rest of their lives. Are you happy? Just think....being friends and having an attraction are one thing, but if you chose the other woman you might not have a good relationship and regrate the whole thing and have lost your family because of it. It's not worth all you already have.

Answer 7

Are you truelly sure in your heart these feelings are genuine? Not something your creating in your mind due to the situation that your in? It is so easy to turn things/thoughts around. Don't be so quick to run to the other side. There is a reason you married the woman who you call your wife. We loose sight of these things due to children, work etc.. Its your job to FIND it again! After all, your the one who lost it. Be fair to the Mrs. and give her a chance to help you find what you feel was lost! If all fails, then move on. After all, you would expect the same in return, wouldn't you? Show some respect!

Answer 8

Stay away from that woman. You don't want another problem. Please think about your children, I know it's frustrating at times when you see your wife all ruggedy ann with 4 kids , it's tough. Your wife and kids will be there for you no matter what happens, through thick and thin , in sickness and in health... You're not confused stay focused. If you deal with this woman, you'll be spending more money than your spending right now. THINK.

Answer 9

Just ask yourself, if trying a relationship with this woman worth losing your family over. You have to also consider it may not. You have never had a relationship with her, and you haven't seen her for 4 years. You are married to your wife, you know everything abouther I imagine, have been through 4 births and share children. Thats alot of time and experience to throw away. If you decide that it is, please break it to your wife BEFORE having any kind of relationship with this woman. That is the most decent and repectful thing to do.

Answer 10

Love isn't a feeling....it is a habit (dedication) and an attitude (willingness). no you will inform you what to do inclusive of your cutting-edge existence undertaking.....yet my goodness it is beneficial to take the time to MAKE your self chuffed top the place you're (bloom the place you're planted). Then make variations in case you opt for....yet happiness isnt outdoors someplace in yet another state, or yet another man or woman or yet another something.....its interior you. you assert you're in love with somebody 1400 miles away---no longer achievable. Love is likewise provide and take and there cant be too lots of that taking place 1400 miles away. Love is gaining wisdom of approximately and accepting ea others quirks; its achieving own ultimate for the different man or woman...you wont decide for to pay attention this yet God has lots to assert approximately love.....via fact that he's the unique author, it is beneficial to %. up a bible and discover out what He says will make you chuffed and loose---and what he says with reference to the definition of love. Your soul is hungry for achievement and wholeness......all of us have that longing....dont throw out a splendidly solid existence and a splendidly solid husband searching for some thing which you cant discover in this international..... no count if or no longer you suspect, say a prayer. God will answer.