I've been in a relationship for 2 1/2 years. in may I found out my partner cheated.ultimately, I forgave her. yesterday i found out that she was still in contact with the mistress. We changed our number months ago because of this but she claims they've just spoke on the phone a few times. What would you do?
2006-10-28 14:40:57 · 40 answers · asked by bangieb 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'd realize she was still cheating and ditch her for someone better.
2006-10-28 14:43:32 · answer #1 · answered by ***&&*** 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to ask yourself if this is what you really want. Put how much you love her aside and think about your future. What if she does this again? Are you going to keep forgiving? And in the mean time your feeling horrible. I know it's hard because you love her, but you can't change her no matter how much you try. She has to want to change. What is going on with her in her mind. What is she going through? Maybe your not understanding what she's going through and why she's doing this. It's not something you can fix overnight, but if you really love her then you both should really try to get help,
I've gone through this and now I am learning how to deal with a lot of issues like this, but it took letting God take over. And I'm very thankful. Leaving her is not going to help her.
2006-10-28 14:55:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you tried, you forgave, and gave it your best only to get betrayed again. how hurt you must feel. unfortunatly there is not much you can do if they keep talking to this person, we have no control over the other person. is your partner repentant?they need to know that this behavior has a cost, and that there is just too much unresolved hurt, the hurt needs to be communicated. perhaps you need time apart. sometimes we need to spell out consequences in advance and enforce them.how difficult it is for you to have thought this problem was resolved and to find out now it isn't. if your number was changed than they called the person, or the person was given the new number. it's a slap in the face for you, because you took them back and trusted them again only to be hurt again.life is too short to live like this, never knowing when your loved one will betray you again, and why they did it.
2006-10-28 14:54:22 · answer #3 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You kind of lost me:
"I forgave her. yesterday i found out that she was still in contact with the mistress"
So she cheated with another woman? You should probably let her go.
2006-10-28 14:43:29 · answer #4 · answered by Judy the Wench 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh no no no no! I was gonna say let her know you will not tolerate it but the only way to do that seriously is end this because going on is tolerating it, and she obviously dooesnt take you to seriously and she already got a second chance to realize what she has when you found out and forgave her right, she'll keep doing it or stuff like it thats disrespectful, stand up GOOD LUCK!
2006-10-28 15:03:15 · answer #5 · answered by KIMBUR 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Really can you trust her not to do it again if the answer is no then cut the strings and carry on with your life trust is a huge issue.
I'm a person that believes that once a person has cheated on the person they are supposedly faithful too then they will do it again she is walking all over you do not let her hurt you again only my opinion. I hope that everything works out for you.
2006-10-28 14:56:35 · answer #6 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like she is lying. If the "mistress" was really out of her life, then phone calls wouldn't be happening. She is totally disrespecting you. Don't let her bring you down anymore. There ARE others out there that will respect and love you the way you Deserve to be loved. Be patient and it will happen.
2006-10-28 14:54:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When a person cheats, this is their way of dealing with their issues. Hence, the theory once a cheat is always a cheat. It has nothing to do with you because if she was worth keeping AND you were the problem she would attempt to resolve the problem OR if she was worth keeping and was attractive to someone else, she would let you go. Instead has she issues with herself and deals with them by cheating. Now she has two problems..........the issue that cause her to cheat and the actually cheating. Cheating reflects character and your girlfriend has poor character. LET HER GO!!!!!!!!!! In this age of AIDS, where safe sex is like playing Russian roulette with you sexual organs it is NOT WORTH IT! There are PLENTY of NON-CHEATERS out there!!!! Best of Luck....You SHOULD leave and as you are leaving remember that you are not leaving someone who loved and cared for you...... you are leaving A CHEATER that has potentially jeopardizes your health.
BEST OF LUCK..... LOVE YOURSELF ENOUGH TO LEAVE!!!!!
2006-10-28 15:08:26 · answer #8 · answered by ilovemychildren 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get out of there. thats not a good sign. if shes sorry, i mean actually really sorry for cheating on you like that, she would have severed the connection completely. she cheated on you with this person, and they're still in contact? thats not good, not for your relationship, not for you. after 2 1/2 years, the commitment youve made to each other should be stronger than this fling with the mistress. it sounds like bad news, and you really need to rethink whether its worth it. personally, id get out of there. it doesnt sound good to me, and whoever she is, she doesnt love you enough to treat you like you deserve to be treated.
2006-10-28 14:49:15 · answer #9 · answered by potato head 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confront her about it once again. I definitley think she is still cheating. She has no right to get back in contact with this person. All signs point to me, as if she is not letting him go. Leave her and find someone who deserves to be with you. Time will heal your pain even though I know it will be hard. I would rather leave and be alone then have to be cheated on once again. Once shame on them and twice shame on me ! Good luck !
2006-10-28 14:45:53 · answer #10 · answered by MizzSweetness 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it seems she is bisexual or lesbian the way you described it!!!! but any way if this happens once more let her go. people can only take so much know what i mean? if you gave her more than 2 chances and she continues then let her go. because every time you find out this will make you depressed!! dont have someone that makes you deppressed. then you alwase think COULD SHE BE CHEATING NOW? every time you ask this question in your head you feel Depressed. so my OPPINION is dont have a woman that makes you feel depressed every day or week!!!
2006-10-28 14:56:36 · answer #11 · answered by delta_bonds 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋