Why is it so hard for people to accept kindness?

Question

Writing a paper for psychology class on that question. Need sources and input to incorporate into the paper. Thank you for your answer.

Answer 1

Because there are always "strings" attached, conditions and "receipts" (pay-backs).

If I know someone is in need, I do wait for the person to humiliate himself/herself by asking; I do what has to be done and it's a forgotten matter; if they wish to repay me, my price is always a cup of coffee, nothing more. I do not lend, I give away. I do not do favors, I do what I can and forget but I've never had anyone offer anything without later coming back in demand of payment for what they consider should be paid back!

I can only rely on my one and only buddy of 43 years to help me as I've helped him. We never keep score (he says I've helped him more while I contend he's helped me more).

Answer 2

Excellent topic. One of my favor ties. Society today is very harsh and getting harsher ergo the violent hip hop, gangsta culture. I have proposed a return to the peace and love era of the hippies...but people don't like that either. I still attempt kindness but have found that being a kind person is often misinterpreted. Some people think I am passive aggressive..not true. Others, the bullies and there are a lot of these, think kind people are weak and thus they can bully them....wrong again. To solve this for myself, as soon as someone does not respect me, I do a turn around on them. Depending on the person I will either, get immediately aggressive back to them, or will assert myself strongly, or I might just completely ignore and stop talking to them all together...that is working out nicely. It really stops the bullies when they see how strong I can be and others see I am not passive aggressive but can be very direct when I need to be. But mostly, I congregate to the other kind people. Life gets more and more pleasant for me as I get older and learn these kinds of things.
Good luck with your paper. And another great source on kindness is the Dali Lama and Buddhism.

Answer 3

The first question I think you have to answer is "Is there true kindness?" Or pure altruism. Can people do things truly out of kindness and the concern for the welfare of others without regard to reward or the benefits of recognition.

So it may be that some people do not believe in pure alturism and are alwyas thinking about, "what is this person benifiting from this?"

Good luck on your paper!

Answer 4

Well it seems you are okay with accepting kindness from us to answer your question. Hahaha... :p
Well there's a few reasons to me.
1) Pride. Helping someone when he/she is down makes them feel even weaker from his/her already weak state.
2) Sometimes people know there is some sacrifice in the person helping you. Like if you give up your seat on the train for an elderly, means you have to stand for your journey.
3) Suspicion of your kindness. True and sad.

Answer 5

I can only say through my personal experiences, but sometimes I dislike people being kind to me because they're not actually being kind. They seem to think that they're doing me a favour, and that sort of condescending pity thing really gets on my nerves, even if they mean well. It doesn't happen often, but it's irritating when it does.

Answer 6

Gratitude is an unpleasant emotion to carry. It reduces ones sense of ones capacities.

Therefore, "No good deed goes unpunished"- Oscar Wilde

Answer 7

Because people are always running a scam. And if you are not careful you will get burned by trusting every ones "kindness".

Answer 8

Sometimes I think it is so hard because the person does not feel they deserve the kindness.

Answer 9

Many people are hard hearted and don't want to put down their defenses and seem weak....it's all psychological.....yeppers

Answer 10

sometimes its culture. like the chinese for example, when people compliment their children they always deny it out of not only culture but respect and humility.