My husband and i got married a year ago. It's crazy how we ended up getting married. We started dating at a young age and he then went off to the military. We spent time together everytime he came home and we wrote each other everytime we got a chance. Then he just stopped calling, stop writing, and stopped emailing me. after 10 months had past, i started to seeing someone else because I thought he didn't want to be with me anymore. This person I started seeing was everything a woman would want in a man. after seeing this guy for about 2 months, the guy in the military came back. He asked me to spend the rest of my life with him. I said yes because I loved him and we had so much history together. I left the other guy and got married. But sometimes I question myself and ask myself did I make a mistake. I still have feelings for the other guy. I talked to him today and all my feelings started rushing back. what shall I do? I'm still young and want the best out of my life.
2006-10-28 14:24:50 · 17 answers · asked by mercedes t 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
also I feel that my husband has a problem and threatens to commit suicide sometimes and I think that he needs me
When I say I'm still young, I'm 19 about to be 20
2006-10-28 14:26:59 · update #1
Look, you made a choice a year ago so stick with it. My God, you cant go running everytime someone looks your direction. That is very selfish of you. Learn to be a friend and lover to your husband and leave the others alone.........remember the grass isnt always greener on the other side!!!!
2006-10-28 14:46:07 · answer #1 · answered by classy&sassy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is wrong to stay with someone just because you think " they need you" I dont believe any healthy individual "Needs anybody" in order to survive. As for communicating with the ex, You need to stop that and stop it now. By entertaining these "What if" thoughts you are violating the integrity of your marriage. How would you feel if you caught your husband calling an old g/f and saying " all those feelings came rushing back" . If you are unhappy in your marriage either get counseling and try to be happy or get a divorce. regardless leave the other guy alone untill you are no longer obligated to your husband.
2006-10-28 21:33:34 · answer #2 · answered by snoop_dougie_doug04 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never question yourself on any important decision that you make in life. My aunt always told me that and I live by it.
You don't need to talk to the ex boyfriend. Every time you speak to him those feelings will come rushing back. You need to focus on your husband.
Stop doubting yourself. Ever thing happens for a reason.I got married very young and my story is close to yours the only difference is, I never doubted myself. When I said "I do", I meant it.
I hope your marriage is like mine. Just right. You are going to have arguments and disagreements but don't think about the other guy because you never know if he is the abusive type or the opposite of you.
If your husband is suicidal speak to a doctor and his Sargent.
2006-10-28 21:34:59 · answer #3 · answered by Gucci S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have no children from the marriage then get out! You are young and entitled to a mistake and that mistake should not make you miserable all your life. It sound like he suffers from depression and that alone is not a good scene to live with. It may sound selfish but you need to look after number one and that is you.However I wouldn't just rebound to the other guy either. Give it a long chance and make sure you are not yet making another error in judgment!
2006-10-28 21:48:21 · answer #4 · answered by r g 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you didnt listen to the vows you commited to and accepted!!!! and to me thats the biggest problem with society today I also think you changing your mind or not wont fix that and I also think your young enough to be granted a second chance and deserve a second chance to reevaluate what your doing when your doing it and get it right next time. marriage is vary serious and it should be where your heart is, you have to think about yourself usually though you should consider your husband in a marriage but it doesnt sound like your heart is married here my point is do what your heart tells you but your husband sounds like he has a serious problem that you should help him with while doing what you need to, that way you wont have any or atleast to much guilt you will have done the right thing. GOOD LUCK!
2006-10-28 21:32:58 · answer #5 · answered by KIMBUR 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband made a sacrifice for the country, and he will undoubtedly have problems after being in the military. If you love him, you stick by him and support him. This will be hard. You have to consider whether or not you can remain true to this decision for the rest of your life. If you are likely to wunderlust for other people, you need to be honest with him and yourself, and tell him you don't feel the same.
2006-10-28 21:31:05 · answer #6 · answered by Arnold M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You made a commitment. You didn't promise to love your husband until someone better comes along, you promised till death. You need to shut the other guy out and focus on your marriage. I understand temptation, but don't screw up your marriage because of it.
And think of how you'll feel if you do leave your husband for this guy, and then it doesn't work out with that guy.
2006-10-28 21:32:34 · answer #7 · answered by who-wants-to-know 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most military men have issues-mentally. You made a choice a lifetime commitment however, due to the fact that your husband now has mental problem-depression you can divorce him.. just don't get pregnant with him. Are you happy with him? If not then, you know what to do.
2006-10-28 22:14:40 · answer #8 · answered by Cindy R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a bad sign if he's threatening to kill himself. i was abused in two of my relationships by guys who did that. after a year or so they started to change. maybe that's just my experience though. if he disappeared for 10 months something was up. maybe he met someone over there. even in the military. unless he told you why. i dont know why but i'd go for the other guy.
2006-10-28 21:30:27 · answer #9 · answered by maria h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, if you had more fun with him and trust him and love him more than mr. military then go with him. If you arent sure stay with mr. military, its a lot of legal **** you have to go through to get divorced so you want to be sure, also take into consideration that he didnt talk to you for 10 months and was probably lonely from being around all men that whole time. He may not be as infatuated with you as he seemed/seems
2006-10-28 21:29:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋