I've heard that as soon as you get married love flies out the window.
2006-10-28 13:47:48 · 24 answers · asked by marcoporres 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Love doesn't fly...EVER !!! Love walks with patience, understanding & kindness. Love turns into hate when poision enters the relationship. Poision takes on various forms....deceit, unfaithfullness & dishonesty to name a few.
2006-10-28 14:06:19 · answer #1 · answered by Brains & Beauty 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think that a young couple doesn't know what love is when they get married. It's takes some testing by fire for the relationship to mature and deepen. Young couples are emotionally and physically attracted to each other, but often times are not deeply, intellectually committed to each other until they've gone through some negative experiences. Love is a decision, not an emotion.
If folks aren't intellectually committed to each other, then when disappointments come, they taqke the easy way out and divorce.
Hate cannot exist with an intellectually bonded marriage. Anger, frustration, and resentment....yes. And, if those emotions aren't dealt with quickly, then that intellectual committment is in great jeopardy.
2006-10-28 20:57:39 · answer #2 · answered by asperens 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First off, that is a crock about the minute you get married, if it does you were probably more in love with being in love than the actual feeling, in love with the wedding, in lust, who knows but marriage can be a good thing. This is coming from a women who has been married twice to emotionally and physically abusive men. Hate is a strong word if at one time you really loved that person, unfortunately, hate ususally means hurt, pain, dissapointment, loss of respect fear, but hate, I don't know. It does feel that way when you look in the mirror and do not recognised yourself and the person you have become do to the lack of respect, being told awful things all the time, cheated on,, beat up, call awful names etc. I think that a person becomes numb to all feelings and the most identifiable one you can relate to after all of the agony is hate. When a person marries the one they love and I mean love, you can survive maybe one case of being unfaithful, one case of being disrespectful but when all of these and others can not become a standard way of living you have big problems. Many times with therapy some things can be fixed, you can maybe forgive a one time case of being unfaithful, or selfish or some of the other things. But when the jealousy,cruelty turns to emotional or physical abuse and you stay and take it you begin to hate yourself I think more than anyone else and that is very dangerous, you lose your respect for yourself, you feel lack a doormat, every cruel thing has been said or done and you start to hate the world and what it has become to you..That is when it is time to get our, get hate and get over the self hatred that you are laying on yourself..does this make sense. As the song goes "there may be a thin line between love and hate" but listen to the rest of the lyrics.
Once I got help for myself, I realized I did not hate anyone, I hated what had happened to that dream I had but I did not even hate the men I was married to. Hate is such a energy zapping, worthless emotion that I think it gets confused with allot more complicated feelings.
I probably totally confused you but if so I am glad because it is not like that, you don't wake up one day and hate your partner.
This is all my opinion, I have nothing to base it on other than my own long road home to finding myself as a compassion but not stupid person.
Don't listen to all of the "chitter chatter" about marriage, love, etc. you need to find out he difference between love, lust, love to be in love and I think that might answer allot of your questions.
Magnolia
2006-10-28 21:19:19 · answer #3 · answered by magnolia813 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nonsense, I love my wife now more than the day I married her. If you get married and you love flies out the window you're both doing something wrong or got married for the wrong reason.
2006-10-28 20:53:48 · answer #4 · answered by St.Anger 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That is not true. Love can exist in a marriage if both people want it to. Love must be constantly nurtured and encouraged to grow. Both people must keep the communicating open between them.
Yes, hate does develop when the two people do not communicate and drift apart. One person may become dominating over the other and cause the love to fade into hate. One person may have an affair and betray the trust the other had in them.
2006-10-28 20:53:17 · answer #5 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When people stop saying what they really mean and communication in general stops because of it. Love turns, but not necessarily to hate. Sometimes it just numbs out and both parties get stuck in a kind of Twilight Zone because they do not want to upset what stablilty and comfort they have known as a couple.
The way to get that spark back is to start listening to your partner and when your partner can feel that you are really listening, he will begin to tell you what is really going on, and if you are serious about being close again, it can happen with a bit of effort.
2006-10-28 21:34:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love turns to hate after the divorce, when she thinks she isn't getting enough child support and she is saddled with the kids she had because she couldn't take the pill correctly and he spends all his time with the new girlfriend that is 20 years younger.
2006-10-28 20:56:01 · answer #7 · answered by lily 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No when povery comes through the door love flies out the window
2006-10-28 20:51:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Love turns to hate when you choose to let it. Love is , and always will be a temporary state. People are inherently reprehensible creatures , that fact is blurred by attraction and novelty. But when the curtains of self delusion are pulled back and you see the hideous monster that your left with the logical reaction is to hate them.
2006-10-28 20:59:16 · answer #9 · answered by sldeviant 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
love turns to hate when one person stops listening to the other and stops caring. Love is not one sided and must be equal or it will fade away and one of you will hate the other because they made little or no effort to save what you had.
2006-10-28 21:25:37 · answer #10 · answered by grizzlybear 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋