to be honest with you i like to have more children but the thing i dont want is losing my famly.what are the risks? do you know any one with similar experience?
2006-10-28 13:39:21 · 25 answers · asked by reza r 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You are an idiot.
2006-10-28 14:29:17 · answer #1 · answered by fajita 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The answer you need is this:
Whilst you are happily married, having a relationship with anyone outside your marriage means that you cannot love your wife or be happy with her as you say you are.
Being tempted to have sex with this girl will do a lot of damage to your marriage and sooner or later your wife will find out and she will either want a divorce from you or shut you out of her life emotionally. I am reading between the lines here, but am assumming that you and this girl are already having sex?
If you are, finnish it with her now. You are betraying your wife and her trust and if she cannot have any more children biologically, this is no reason to have an affair. Discuss with your wife, about other available options such as adoption and infertile semination but this has to be your wife's choice because she may not want to have any more children whether naturally or through other means.
If you do not want to be with your wife because she cannot or does not want more children, then you are not going to be happy staying married to her are you?. Certainly doing some more talking with her is going to bring you to a decision but there could be so many different reasons why she cannot or does not want to have more children. Sometimes if a person is unhappy or under stress, their bodies can shut down and can make a woman temporarily infertile and it has been scientifically proven that some women can conceive once their bodies return to their natural state.
So it is not just biological resons. Sometimes stress can do untold damage to people's bodies, so do not rule this out. If you have been trying for a baby, it is likely that she will be under a lot of stress and this has caused her body to shut-down. What you both need, is to take your minds off this for some time and start to enjoy life and each other's company again doing things that will take the tension and worry out of the situation.
If you love your wife whether or not she can have children or not, means that you will love her unconditionally. If you are seeing this girl because she can give you what your wife can't or won't, means that you do not love your wife unconditionally and need to get a divorce from her.
You will lose your family if you are seeing this girl and continue to or have intentions to. Your wife will find out because women are quite perceptive and pick up on these things and then you will be lying to her and betraying her. A man should love his wife regardless of whether she can have more children or not because it is unconditional.
You will be risking so much if you do have anything with this girl and your wife will never forgive you. You also risk losing the love of your 13 year old daughter who will be made angry and hurt if you have a child with another woman other than her mother, so you will face being in a very disasterous situation if you do anything with this girl if you intend to stay married to your wife.
Cut your ties with this girl now and start to build the closeness you had with your wife and find some ways of stopping you both getting stressed out about making babies. The more relaxed and genuinely happy you are together as a couple, will increase your chances, but if you are not getting along and are both very stressed out, this will tear you apart anyway. The joy from your lives needs to come back to you both.
Hope I have been able to help you. But, I have given you honest answers to your question.
2006-10-28 15:20:01 · answer #2 · answered by Shikira-trudi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she's a "friend" then, obviously, you need to include your wife in the discussion. If the woman is a **** who wanted an affair, then you'd better have already told her "Hell, no!"
I'm thinking your wife won't be thrilled about you wanting to go around impregnating other women. Because, even if that "friend" has you sign a paper saying she won't ask for child support, she can still get child support. Do you want to give your money away to this woman and her child or, if you have any brains, do you want to provide for your daughter and wife?
If your wife says "go ahead and impregnante your friend" then you still might lose your wife and daughter when, down the road, they think you love the baby too much and/or spend too much time and attention on the baby and it's mother.
Personally, I think you're an idiot for even asking here. You better have told your "friend" that it's a "no go." Point her towards a sperm bank!
2006-10-29 01:59:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You answered your own question. Is it really worth the risk of loosing everything you love? If your female "friend" wants to have a baby, she can find her own unmarried man or go to a fertility clinic. Also, you should distance yourself from her, because she could cause some serious problems for you and your family. Because divorce attorneys, alimony, and child support don't come cheap.
P.S. Just a thought. If you love your wife and daughter so much, why do you have this female "friend"?
2006-10-28 13:59:38 · answer #4 · answered by Tawney 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well mate if you truely love your wife and your family well i guess you wont do anything to loose your family talk to your female friend tell her that you cannot have a child with her because you are a married man you can't have a child woutside your marriage and that child would be fatherless because you wont be there with her to raise that child...and an other thing is you have to be open to your wife tell her that you want more children she needs to know that you want more babies so good luck mate be a wise man
2006-10-29 13:17:33 · answer #5 · answered by Lord Glyde 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of this other women! Completely shut her out of your life, women like that are horrible to brek up a marriage.
It will hurt your children more than anything, my dad cheated on my mum several times, abused her and now we live in England where my mum was born .
Ive only seen him once in the last 10 years. Im the only one that actually talks to him, my brother and sister dont bother. I was hurt quite alot but I dont want to miss out not having a father (even though he lives on the other side of the world). My dad and us kids will never have the same relationship again.
Dont do it unless you can live with the consequences!
2006-10-29 06:49:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already answered your own question. If you do this, you risk losing your family. Is it worth it ? I know people that have done that and now they are divorced, paying child support, and rarely get to see the children that they love. I have seen it happen many times. They wind up being unhappy in the end. Just not worth it. Especially if you love your wife.
2006-10-28 13:44:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it man, don't do it! You know they will leave you, and you will be left with a broken heart. You will be old, and by yourself. I am telling you, don't do it! If you watch Maury, you see what happens to people who make that mistake. If you want more kids, adopt some. They may not be yours, but at least you will have everything you wanted! I am a teenager, and I know what it's like not having your biological father around. If you don't do it for you or your wife, don't do it for the sake of your daughter!
2006-10-28 13:47:55 · answer #8 · answered by PRiNcEsSmO999 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hey, what's wrong with you? Are you going to risk losing your family? You can have more kids ( if that's what you really are feeling) with your wife, all you have to do is talk it out with her.
Your 40 and you might be going through some changes and maybe your trying to find out if your still attractive to other ladies, believe you me, don't lose your family over these feelings its not worth it your family is your life.
2006-10-28 13:47:20 · answer #9 · answered by Taz 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
why dont you tell your wife that you would like to have another child with her and see what she has to say. I mean to be honest with you the only reson that your female friend is saying thatshe wants to have a baby with you is she knows that it would break up your marriage and then she could haveyou all to herself she really isn't your friend to even put you in that position stay with your wife
2006-10-28 13:52:52 · answer #10 · answered by Shanana 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you loved your wife, would you really be asking this question? If your wife is as good a woman as I think she is, you shouldn't even consider it. Talk to her about your thoughts, not another woman, no matter if she is a 'friend'.
2006-10-28 13:42:16 · answer #11 · answered by merlin_steele 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋