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My husband told me that but I say nothing. I am totally depressed, fighting to keep my self esteem up. I am 5'11 and 210 pounds and I'm tired of being picked on. Help Me.

2006-10-28 13:21:01 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

34 answers

You need to lose weight, but not for him. Think of it not as dieting, but as getting healthy. Start making the right choices for you, and only you. You can burrow yourself into being overweight and depressed, but that gets boring after awhile. Make yourself and your health a priority. You'll begin to enjoy being you and being proud of you!

2006-10-28 13:24:54 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs. Strain 5 · 2 1

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2016-09-01 04:06:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

OK,if you have always been overweight he doesn't really have the right to say that to you because he married you being the way you are.If you HAVE NOT always been overweight and put that weight on since you guys got married ,he may simply not be as attracted to you as yhe was when you got married.Maybe he is concerned about your health? Picture this: you get married to a very handsome man,all of a sudden he puts on a lot of weight and you don't feel as attracted to him anymore,would you not want him to lose weight? Or he gains weight and starts having health problems? Would you want him to lose weight and get better? Again,if you have always been overweight,there has to be some other reason for him to complain about your weight.Are his co workers/ friends teasing him? Bottom line should always be-NOT the outside counts,the inside does!!!!!!

2006-10-28 13:55:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Don't get depressed. First off, tell your husband that he needs to lay off. Tell him that his comments are rude and hateful. Next, find a friend that you feel comfortable talking to about your weight. Build yourself a support network. Find someone willing to go to the gym with you, or to jog with. If your husband keeps up his crap, tell him to shut his trap if he can't say something nice. Girl, don't lose the weight for him, do it for yourself. And when you lose the weight, go buy yourself some nice sexy clothes and go out on the town without your man. Make him miserable for his rude behavior. But if you really love him, don't leave him. There is nothing wrong with you, you are fine the way you are. It is your husband that has the problem. It is called self-esteem. He makes you feel lower so he feels better. Don't let that happen.

2006-10-28 13:27:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 2

You didn't say if you had any children. It is natural to gain weight during pregnancy. And all the harder to take it off. The question you have to ask yourself is do you want to lose the weight? You have to do it for yourself and not that jackass of a husband. If he really wants you to lose the weight he should be helping you in anyway he can not berating you. Until then he has absolutely no right to say anything to you. He should be your soft place to land. Here's a question. How big is your husband?

2006-10-28 13:35:23 · answer #5 · answered by geminiidream63 2 · 0 1

The best thing you can do is make yourself feel good. No one can do that for you. Try walking once a day cut back on you food intake, drink lots of water. Do not diet it will make your weight go up and down. Do this for yourself and do it in secret you will notice the change in every one around you. I bet you lose five pounds in one week GOOD LUCK.

2006-10-28 13:29:59 · answer #6 · answered by winnp1 3 · 1 0

Hi girl! First, I am sorry that this has happened. I have also struggled with my wieght my entire life. Well untill a year ago. I decided to get my self undercontrol for my husband. I had no desire to be a super model but I wanted to please him. I hope this is a desire of yours. I believe it is a women's role to please her husband(i am sorry if this offends you, it is just an opinion:) i asked my husband to help me. I told him i was not happy with myself and he was in turn honest with me and told me that he would like for me to take better care of my body. We started eating healthy and walking everyday. We purchased a treadmill with a tv connected to it. It is so easy to exercize when you are distracted by entertainment. We made it a goal together which made it a bonding experience as well. My advice is to tell him that you need his help, that you need him to encourage you when you fail, and praise you when you accomplish.I hope this helps you girly. Remember your marriage vows, through the good and bad.

2006-10-28 14:07:35 · answer #7 · answered by moe 2 · 0 0

I am so sorry that he said that to you. You must feel terrible. I know that I would. Like another answerer said, you are being emotionally abused. If you want to talk to someone, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline. But, understand that your husband might be able to see that you visited the site or made the call. Be sure to clear your internet browser's history before letting him use the computer and make another call...even to the weather or 411 after calling the hotline, so he can't hit redial. You can also talk to a therapist at Kasamba. I recommend Sharon Bruce.

2006-10-28 13:28:45 · answer #8 · answered by Rachel S 1 · 0 2

I am pretty sure if it wasn't your weight it would be something else. is it possible the man has control issues. You might suggest he seek counselling while you get self esteem lessons, as well once you have arrived you will know how to deal with this man

2006-10-28 13:34:47 · answer #9 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0 1

I'm sorry that your husband is so insensitive. It's a terrible thing to say. Especially when he's probably not close to being Mr. Universe himself. You have to tell him that by him saying hurtful things like that, doesn't motivate you, that it actually makes things worse. He needs to try more positive approaches, like taking a walk with you after dinner, and that sort of thing. Try to stay upbeat.

2006-10-28 13:31:35 · answer #10 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 0 1

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