After a stressful few months, with me being seriously ill and my partner looking after me, we have decided we need to take a break from each other as we both need to heal after the recent traumatic events. I have gone down with post traumatic stress and my partner is completely drained emotionally and i know i have to sort out my issues before we can work on our relationship as my insecurities have risen to the surface. Can a break help you to become a stronger couple or does it signify the end. We are in constant contact but i know we both need time on our own. Has anyone else experienced a similar situation?
2006-10-28 12:35:48 · 20 answers · asked by carolina 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have recently had heart surgery but ive recovered fully but went down with bad depression from it all.
2006-10-28 12:48:20 · update #1
This situation your in,may have been a first for your boyfriend and he may very well have become extremely overwhelmed with all thats going on.as its clearly taken a tole on the both of you.give him time.just because one wants to take a break doeant signify the end.id he were clearly done and wanting out of the relationship because of whats going on with you.i dont think the two of you would still be in contact with one another.sounds like both of you need time to heal from this ordeal.
2006-10-28 12:42:11 · answer #1 · answered by darleneb 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think a break signifies the end of your relationship.
If you have both been sensible enough to talk and decide a break is needed I think you are strong enough to get through it.
Most other people would just struggle on, without talking and eventually that would cause problems.
Well done to you both for considering each others feelings and finding a temporary solution, especially considering what you have both been through.
Just keep that contact as you are doing and keep telling each other what you feel and what you are thinking. Work through it together and I am sure you can come out of this stronger!
x
2006-10-28 13:35:45 · answer #2 · answered by Tia 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have not personally gone thru what you are describing, but I do know that you and your partner will never have a healthy relationship until you get over or heal from what is bothering you. My advice is seek help in what ever way you can and heal your wounds, only then will you be able to move on with your partner. If you and your partner don't get back together more than likely the same things will repeat itslef. You didn't describe in detail what's going on, but i feel that is the best advice I can give on the info you provided. GOOD LUCK
2006-10-28 12:42:19 · answer #3 · answered by calenderchic0271 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Speaking from the other side ( as in I was the carer) the problems I had, related to the fact that my role in the relationship changed. I went from boyfriend to carer over the course of 6 months or so , and so when she had her operation (cancer), and then recovered - took just under a year, I found that I could not be a boyfriend again as the role I had adopted was no longer there, it was almost like I was not unwanted but more like not needed. We took a break - I went to live with my parents for a while (not fun!!), However we set a timeframe - four weeks, and agreed to see eachother once a week . This turned out to be like going on a date, and so I could find my role in the relationship again. We are now married and my wife says the break helped to to get closure after her cancer. So for us it worked.
2006-10-28 16:46:21 · answer #4 · answered by ricmau35 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I are going through somethign very similar right now. He tried to go away and we agreed not to talk for a bit but we would end up talking the next day! It was hard for me to have him away and it was hard for me to have him sleep in the same bed considering the stress we were going through...he moved downstairs to sleep and oddly enough things have been a lot easier. Although my fear is that we end up like roomates rather than husband and wife.
I hope as we both heal we can maybe have the luxury that most don't get and that is to fall into the goo-goo love again like you have when you first date! We do love each other but we have been through a lot in the 5 years we have been married.
I was diagnosed with cancer only a couple month after we were married..talk about "the honeymoon is over!". We have been through some horrible ilnesses with parents on boht sides and suddenly lost his mother a few months ago...I'm honestly surprised looking back that we lasted as long as we did without a breakdown. We used to say that this stuff would make a stonger bond but after so much you get a bit resentlful. It's human.
As we slowly sort stiuff out and stop not only blaming each other but ourselves over things that have happened we get more relaxed around each other. I say it for better or worse, sickness and health right. We at least have to try.
They say that peope who go through traumatic events together like a plane crash or such bond in a way that many times you will find they have left a spouse for someone they met during this event. I like to think of it that this has been a traumatic event we have boht been through and it should logically give us abond that , hey, if we can make it through that..we can make it through ANYTHING!
I hope this helps and i wish you the best. Please e-mail if you'd like a shoulder to lean on.
2006-10-28 12:53:21 · answer #5 · answered by Sandra C 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes a break in the relationship will help each person to see where they are at in the relationship..I don't think it signifies a break, but depending on how strong the relationship is, it is a chance that will be taken...hopefully you two can do separately what you need to do, and then come together with a stronger relationship. Good Luck to you both...
2006-10-28 12:41:20 · answer #6 · answered by angeleyes 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Having a break would be a very good idea so you can both work out in your minds exactly what you both want. It might well be that eventually after the break you will still split up but at least you will both know in your own minds that you have given it your best shot and not have to look back wondering. R.
2006-10-28 12:59:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A break up (the time apart) can indeed strengthen your relationship as long as BOTH are committed. It's like anything else that doesn't completely do you in, once you recover you are stronger. I hope this is the case with your relationship.
2006-10-28 12:38:32 · answer #8 · answered by MyPreshus 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you 2 have decided to take a break and have time on your own to figure out your relationship, thenI don't think it is the end of it... If you 2 love each other, everything will be ok...
GOOD LUCK!
2006-10-28 12:50:02 · answer #9 · answered by shining_froggy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not exactly, but my time break to get peace for each other ended good. But the before was just excuse to ended relationship.
2006-10-28 12:40:54 · answer #10 · answered by Toto 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋