A friend of mine has recently told me that he's gay, I'm having a hard time accepting it.
How do I deal with it?
Any suggestions??
2006-10-28 12:31:29 · 13 answers · asked by Juventina 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
It's hard to accept it when a friend tells you that, but in order to stay friends, you need to accept it. It's not wrong, as Christians sit there and chant.
When my best friend told me he was gay I was heartbroken. I really was working on trying to ask him out. I'm really glad he told me that rather than leading me on. I love him to death and we've been best friends for almost ten years.
2006-10-28 12:43:45 · answer #1 · answered by analystdevil 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do you think you have to "deal" with his sexuality? You have been friends with him for awhile, and the only thing that's changed is you found out he likes guys instead of women. Before you found out you were getting along very well.
What bothers me a little about this question is that whenever someone finds out that a friend of theirs is gay or lesbian, they immediately assume that somewhere along the line their friend is going to want to get sexual with them. This is always rarely the case. The only thing that's really affected by you knowing your friend is gay is that you guys won't be able to go looking for women together, and he might have a different group of friends where he can go looking for guys.
You can be smart and save your friendship by keeping in mind why you guys were friends in the first place. If you are homophobic then get rid of your friendship with him because his being gay will always be in the back of your mind.
Regardless if you are having difficulties accepting it or not, your friend is gay. Either deal with it within yourself by not making him the problem, or move on. His gayness is not a problem. Also, if you were a real friend you would accept him as he is.
Don't dump your friend because he's gay...if you do then that really shows what sort of person you really are.
2006-10-28 12:59:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alright let me see if I can give you the best answer.
I am a gay guy first of all.
A local law enforcement officer was telling me of a similar situation the other day that happened to him years ago.
He and his friend that he had been friends with all through high school had went to college and were roommates. The friend confided in him and told him that he was gay. He had a very hard time dealing with the issue of him being gay. He moved out and moved back home. He then later figured out that the friend was still the same person he had always knew and moved back in with him. ( The sad thing is that most str8 guys think that any gay guy wants them) If you are comfortable with your sexuality then you shouldn't let it bother you. I understand it can be hard for you. My father is a preacher and he is still trying to deal with the issue of me being gay. Hope this helps you out.
2006-10-28 13:20:00 · answer #3 · answered by matthewkeithsmart 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His sexuality doesn't have to play any role in your relationship with him, just the same as your other friends' sexualities don't play a role in your relationships with them either. He is still the same old friend, and you should feel a little bit good that he felt you were trustworthy enough to tell you about his sexuality. Perhaps you have some opinions about homosexuals that need to be re-evaluated; he might be able to help you with that if you broach the topic with him and ask him in a polite and open way about things, if that is what you are interested in doing.
2006-10-28 12:40:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, if you're as good of a friend as you'd probably like to think, than you need to just be there for your friend just as you would have if he was straight.
Secondly, if it's that big of a deal, and it's still difficult for you to adjust and get used to, than simply just sit your friend down and explain how you feel. Chances are that he will understand in a way where you are coming from.
Just dont be a jerk, it was probably very difficult for him to even admit it to you, knowing that there was a chance you'd be uncomfortable... apparently he trusts you enough to tell you & hopes that you're going to stick around and still be his friend.
2006-10-28 15:38:45 · answer #5 · answered by llsoinlovell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just accept him the way he is... him being gay doesn't change what he is as a person... he's still the same buddy of yours that just likes guys... there is nothing here to deal with... he probably has enough trouble in life, dealing with hatred and nonacceptance by his own family... so, just forget the fact that he's gay and think of him as you did before you found out his sexuality...
2006-10-28 13:08:26 · answer #6 · answered by ILuvMe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't "deal" with a homosexual friend, you just accept him and support him for who he is. Otherwise, you can't really call yourself much of a friend.
2006-10-28 12:43:19 · answer #7 · answered by jellybean24 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Valid question. He obviously thinks highly of you and your friendship if he confided in you. Continue to be his friend. It may seem a little awkward at first, but that will pass with time.
2006-10-28 12:42:04 · answer #8 · answered by mesierens 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, he's your friend and no matter if he's gay, bisexual, black or blue whatever. He's still your friend and nothing is going to change. Put yourself into his shoes and look how people treat him in his daily routine.
2006-10-28 14:40:41 · answer #9 · answered by dark&pure? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why ...because your not very bright ...leave the poor guy alone he doesnt need friends that nead to DEAL with him...the arrogance of your question says so much about you babe !
2006-10-28 13:24:21 · answer #10 · answered by Bearable 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋