o.k i am 20 years old and i was a lesbian for most of my life then i found a guy friend he became my bestfriend and then my boyfriend i want to be with him and i am going to stay with him but i want a woman too i cant stop thinking about being with a woman it isnt fair to a woman if i only want to be with her behind his back and he is very sensitive and would not understand it would brake his heart...oh yeah and i live with him...what to do??
2006-10-28 11:43:07 · 16 answers · asked by ? 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
you need to have complete honesty and open communication with your partner regardless of gender.
Cheating is cheating regardless of what gender you do it with if it is with out your partners knowledge.
be honest with him and yourself.
2006-10-28 11:58:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-08 23:16:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you really love him and want to be with him but you also want to hump on some women from time to time then I think you're gonna have to start making some bi friends and start up a threesome since that's the only way that you can have sex with a woman and not betray him because he is involved.
It's either that or you have a talk with him and let him know that you love him but that you have certain needs that he can't satisfy because he's a man, kinda like you love coke but you need water, something to that effect.
2006-10-28 11:51:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am Jack's Rage. If being attracted to women is a part of you then you need to tell him otherwise you are just hiding your true self and that will end up being no good in the long run. First, tell him how you feel and about your past and just see what he says. Let him know that you aren't going to act on any of these feelings any time soon. Once you know how he feels, you can go from there. Just say it's something you both have in common, liking 'gina. If he gets mad at any point and you break up, I'll date you.
2006-11-01 10:47:03 · answer #4 · answered by The Bald One from the Future 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you love your bf but are not in love with him. It also sounds to me that you are not really ready to be in a committed relationship (i.e. monogamous relationship). As long as you leave him believing that's the type of relationship that you share, don't cheat on him.
I think you already know that cheating is a personality trait that doesn't have anything to do with sexual orientation, and that bi ppl don't get a waiver. You wouldn't have asked the question the way you did if it was otherwise.
Tough as it may be, I think you need to talk seriously to your bf about yourself - open and honest. If you're seriously committed to him, then stay. If you want other people in your life intimately, then leave. Anything else is selfish and apt to hurt other people, and probably yourself, too.
2006-10-28 12:15:44 · answer #5 · answered by Alex62 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are 20 and have been a lesbian for "most of your life"????
OK...assuming you had a realization around puberty tat you were attracted to women that means you have dealt with it for a few years.
You need to slow down....you do not need to decide today what your orientation will be for the rest of your life.
We all have a tendency to do that. Relax, be honest with those around you as best as you can, refuse to accept anything less than you deserve. Enjoy life!
Remember you are 20....your adult life has just begun and will last another 60-80 years!
2006-10-28 11:55:45 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You made a commitment, you can't have it both ways unless you are up front and honest and he's secure enough to accept it.
And btw, why in the world would you want to limit yourself so early in your life? You obviously aren't ready to make a choice, why not enjoy everyone while you can?
2006-10-28 12:52:58 · answer #7 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK. lets see if this is helpful.
Cheating is cheating... DON'T DO IT ANYMORE!!!!
One of them will find out and your only going to hurt one or both of them and then yourself. So stop while your ahead.
So here are your choices.
1.) Leave both of them and go out with both men and women.
2.) Tell both of them that you are bi and need each gender.
(This is probably not going to go over very well with either)
3.) Or decide which one you love more.
2006-10-28 13:25:46 · answer #8 · answered by matthewkeithsmart 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not good at giving advice but you can't help what you like and do you think your boyfriend deserves to have to go through this and be treated this way; but what he does deserve is the truth
2006-10-28 11:47:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all it's not fair to either one of them to be with someone else if you are with someone.You don't need to wrong anyone-it will hurt them-you may wind up with no one in the end and then your heart will be broken~you need to decide which one you want!!!!!!
2006-10-28 14:43:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
not the one to judge but i will tell you you need neither man or woman right now both will sink you in confusion you really need to find yourself go to a perfessional for help but also do a lot of praying too
2006-10-28 11:56:49 · answer #11 · answered by mishoney 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋