We have been married 16 years, 3 kids. I've had a very low sex drive through out our marraige, so I feel as I am to blame for driving him away. For the past month I have been off all birth control (he got fixed) and have found a sex drive that I never has before. I actually think aabout sex and want it. This is a new feeling for me. Is it to little too late? What should I do? I really do not want to have our family broken up.
2006-10-28 11:09:25 · 13 answers · asked by suzyq 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hey SuzyQ:
You're in a tight fix. It's one of those "damnded if you do, damned if you don't" predicaments. But you're off on the correct foot. You're gonna get a lot of different answers, telling you to do everything from one end of the spectrum to the other. May I offer this suggestion to you? Both of you know there's been a problem between you. Get the two of you alone some place besides the house... a neutral place. As gently as you possibly can, confront him about the fotos. Wait for him to react (he will). Try not to react to his reaction. Let him blow his top, fly off the handle and do whatever else he's gonna do. When he calms down, then the two of you can talk. But you must have an open channel to communicate. If you want to save your marriage, find out, FIRST, what the pictures are you found, then talk about how to solve your problem. You just need to identify the problem, first.
The best to you both,
zeke
2006-10-28 11:24:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok it would be one thing if you found pictures of him with other women but he must like the plumbing a man has to offer. Your husband has a very kinky side that would worry any women. You could of been the best lover in bed and he still would want to be with a shemale. Do not blame yourself your husband is probably gay. I would print those photos and make copies and give them to all of his family. I would also come straight out and tell him what you witnessed. That is sick if you ask me. He is living a lie.
2006-10-28 18:36:12 · answer #2 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fact being,he needs his sex with a kink. Why did you not tell him? I'd been so angry I couldn't have kept my mouth shut. But,for what other reason there might be,it's for you to analyze what the shemale thing may do /have done to your marriage.
Make copies of the pictures. Tape one up on his back bumper of vehicle,slap one under his windshield wiper,send him one to his work,sister or mom, mail him one to your home mail in a big yellow envelope (someone else addresses it for you) & write across in big letters PRIVATE-4 YOUR EYES ONLY & use return address as 1600 Pennslyvania Ave, And then a few days later send one to yourself at home, don't open it-leave it laying & open in his presence--put return address as Chicks w/Stiks,SheMale Clubs 4 New Members & write "do not return to sender"..........then after some of his exposure,see if he mentions he wants a divorce,if so, keep a few pictures,they'll come in handy during divorce court.
2006-10-28 18:53:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really hate guys who cheat...but for you...it depends on how your relationship is...sometimes some things are worth forgiven...but some things aren't.
You really have to be sure whether he still loves you or not....well you know if he's cheating than he definitely doesn't really love you. But this is not just about him...it's about you and him. So I would say, sit him down and ask him a straight question what's going on...And face the problem...you're a mature woman...I'm sure you don't like playing games
2006-10-28 18:27:09 · answer #4 · answered by Razz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh you poor thing i think you should tell him but after you talk about how much of a change you yourself are feeling since being off the pill ,if you want to stay together then maybe you shoul'n't the embarassament could be to much for him,but then again if you are not turned off by sharing each other that could kick start your sex life again...i think wow so many ways of going about this but if you just want to stay together then just turn him on go for it be daring sexy and availible ..good luck it's going to be a strange pot of emotions to sort out....
2006-10-28 18:22:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
By all means TALK to him! And if it's awkward or uncomfortable go to see a counselor together and that person can help you express your feelings and fears. You are building a new relationship here and you have to be honest with each other or it's not going to work.
2006-10-28 18:19:53 · answer #6 · answered by coffeytalk.com 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well I would talk to him about it and maybe it was something that was a joke. But if you have a sex drive again let him know and get your marriage back on track
2006-10-28 18:24:16 · answer #7 · answered by goodlookin.mama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him what you found and talk to him about it. ask him to stop cheating on you with a guy and ask him to try to fix what is wrong in your marriage. tell him about the change in your sex drive and your desire for intimacy with him. see what he says. good luck.
2006-10-28 18:27:44 · answer #8 · answered by Thumbs down me now 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He left them there. He's essentially told you. Ask him if he wants to stay together or break up the family. And get yourself checked for HIV.
2006-10-28 18:18:33 · answer #9 · answered by mecasa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
with a 16 year history together i find it hard to believe you can't discuss this with him, as long as the approach is gentle and kind, and not an interrogation. i wish you luck.
2006-10-28 18:16:04 · answer #10 · answered by boots 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋