You have been with someone for 4 years and you told them something bad that happened to you like 25 years ago,and instead of have compassion for you,they turned against you and can't even stand to look at you?I have not told a soul until a few days ago and now it's like i have to re live it again in my mind?What would you do- i feel like i could just scream,i wished i had never said a word- makes you wonder if she really cares about me at all! Thanks in advance!
2006-10-28 10:53:30 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
As I don't know what this revelation was, it's hard to judge, but her reaction could be completely genuine and something she can't help. If she really is freaked out by it, then it's probably more honest of her to show that than to pretend she's not bothered if she has a major problem with it.
But it does sound as if she was very insensitive and hurtful in how she expressed her feelings, and you need to know that she does really care and never intended to hurt you. I think part of the problem could be what the other answerer said about you waiting so long to tell her - maybe she feels hurt too that you didn't trust her enough to share this before, and hasn't realised yet how traumatic it is for you to talk about it.
I think all you can do is try to let her know how upset you are, without it turning into a big row if possible, and hope that she finds a way to deal with her feelings, so you can both move on together. All the best, and good luck.
2006-10-28 22:53:10 · answer #1 · answered by JBoy Wonder 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your friend does not sound like a true friend. I would do my very best not to worry about it, and just try to forget the friendship that you had with this person, (until and if he/she comes around).
Your incident happened 25 years ago. He/She is the one with the problem now, so do your best to look at it as she has the problem. And she does!
Spend as much time with other friends and have fun! Don't worry about your so-called friend. True friends understand that "bad things" happen to everyone, especially when you are younger and are growing up. True friends also stick together through good times as well as bad times, let alone something that happened 25 years ago, probably long before you even met your friend!
Good luck!
2006-10-28 18:00:19 · answer #2 · answered by peekie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Time has a way of smoothing things over. Let's hope that your partner will calm down and see a clearer picture. If things get you down, you might want to see your doctor (or someone of a professional calibre, who you can trust), and ask for advice, possibly counselling. Don't go beating yourself up over this. It is important that YOU keep a clear head thru this and that you don't let the doubts and negativity get you down. That's why I suggested seeing your doctor. I can sense how hurtful this has been, and to have to re-live a traumatic experience can be hard to take.
Good luck. Let's hope that things will work out. After being together for four years, your partner has a lot invested, too.
2006-10-28 18:06:23 · answer #3 · answered by SB 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to give you are response. I mean if you killed someone maybe you deserve her attitude. (I'm sure that is not what it is...) Anyway, I've had that happen to me before. I've shared very personal things and have had them cruelly thrown back in my face. It's pretty cold when someone does that... I don't really have an answer for you except to tell you, I know how much it hurts and how betrayed you feel. AND you have the right to feel that way.
Hope it works out for you in the end.
2006-10-28 18:23:43 · answer #4 · answered by The It Girl ∆☻乐 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
better now than later on down the road. Besides, 25 years ago should not make a difference.
2006-10-28 17:55:49 · answer #5 · answered by St♥rmy Skye 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry that your partner didn't know how to react to your news... Sometimes the reactions are so unexpected, understand that whatever it is that happened, happened there is no way that can change that. Part of the healing process is to let it out. Just think of this step as another step closer to recovery.
2006-10-29 00:55:34 · answer #6 · answered by ~R@inBow_4_$hoRtIE~ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Omg, its something you did 25 years ago! ur not like that anymore and she can't seem to understand that...if you were still doing what u did maybe but u are a different you not like that anymore...
2006-10-28 22:12:19 · answer #7 · answered by §†reet R¥dA 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is unconditional no matter what condition you're in. Therfore, if she has chosen to leave you let her go. Because sooner or later she will realize what she had. As long as you have been the best you can be don't agonize over your flaws just because she doesn't accept you.
2006-10-28 18:09:16 · answer #8 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give them time mabe they just feel you should have told them earlier.But if they don't change their attitude they are not worth your love and compassion.I think your special for dealing with all that pain and still find it in your heart to love.
2006-10-28 19:00:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
25 years is a long time
to carry a trauma around.
put it behind you.
don't dwell on it ever again.
chuck the friend and
start fresh.
2006-10-28 18:24:33 · answer #10 · answered by john john 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋