I have heard him in the play ares talking about my friend, he says she is much older , that he was trivked into marrying, that he is not even of the same nationality, etc, etc , I have told her ,and she keeps quiet , most of the friends she had have turned away , he treats her verbally like garbage! I find this hard to deal with after 34 yrs of marriage , I know for a fact she had money , he used it up , now the tide in his mind has turned against her! How can I help her SEE what he is up to?
2006-10-28 09:27:27 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
probably best to stay out of it unless she brings it up to you.
But this guy needs a damm good butt kicking. (excuse me for the bad words.) This kind of guy angers me...
No money left huh after he blew it so now she is no good.
I was married for 40 years and never ever did this crap to my wife.
I have no use for a man like this.
If you decide to get involved go slow. she may be hurting bad..
she does not need any more hurt. He has probaly hurt her enough..
2006-10-28 09:33:56 · answer #1 · answered by apostle1938 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first husband was abusive - mostly financially, verbally, and emotionally. Whenever my friend or my sister would tell me I should leave him, it ended up making me feel like I should try to prove them wrong.
If you confront her, she will probably end up feeling like you are mad at her or think she is stupid. She may even try to avoid talking about it, so she doesn't have to hear about how big of a mistake she is making. Believe me, she feels bad enough already.
What works is just being there for her. This means, asking her how she is - not so you can "lecture" her, but to truly listen. Give her a big hug if she looks upset. You can tell her that you want her to be happy. You can tell her that you feel sad when she is upset. You can tell her it's painful to watch her husband be mean to her. Do NOT tell her what she should do about it.
Tell her that she can come to you any time - and mean it.
I can't remember exactly what made me decide to leave my first husband, BUT one day I just told myself that I had "enough". It had to be me that did that. It had to be MY choice and on MY terms. It was the first step in taking back my life, and feeling empowered enough to make it.
2006-10-28 16:46:48 · answer #2 · answered by katnkaboodle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband left me after l6 years of marriage with 2 young
kids; then he got the judge to let the kids live with him. He
should have warned me he was such a jerk before I married
him. Ask your friend if maybe her life may be better without
the jerk.
2006-10-28 16:31:05 · answer #3 · answered by judy f 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU CAN'T
She loves him .
Let her make her own decisions. Just as you want to make your own .
You did your part by telling her what you know .
Now let her LIVE her life .
After " 34 " yrs . There MUST be something good between them
2006-10-28 18:59:56 · answer #4 · answered by shawn_lamprecht 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to tell you that you cant... It her life and her husband, and since you told her once and she chose not to do anything, there is not much you can do. Be there for her if she "wakes up"
Good luck
2006-10-28 16:32:21 · answer #5 · answered by luc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not know your friends..but.who needed who for money..or exceptance in what use to be the U S A..men and women go thur changes in their life ..but..love is love and ..guess what.love neaver stops....love is blind ..neighbors ain't...all you can do is be a real friend when she ..fiqures it out....just be there...you are a good friend..
2006-10-28 22:33:18 · answer #6 · answered by clcschiller 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cant & wont...shes got to get tired of it ...reach the point of " no more" it sucks i know, but thats the only way its gonna end....so just b a friend & b there for her....she needs your friendship...not critisism so it might be best to keep it to yourself & just be there when she needs you...she knows whats going on, shes just not reached that point yet...
2006-10-28 17:16:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's his nature, hard to change, she really love him with unconditional love, so she is tolerant, I have same problem, wait and see
2006-10-28 16:34:00 · answer #8 · answered by Neighbour 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just sit her down and tell her what you know. You need to be honest.
2006-10-28 17:15:10 · answer #9 · answered by Sexy-n-Hot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
shoulda left him 33 years ago.
2006-10-28 16:29:56 · answer #10 · answered by don 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋