Husbands and Sex?

Question

My husband gets so mad if I dont sleep with him. I try to be there for him - but sometimes I am not in the mood - and he doesnt help it by asking things like - let me hit it - are you going to give me some. Sure it only lasts a minute. (yes I have tried to make him slow down) But I feel used, he doesnt do anything to make me want him. He says its my duty as a wife.

Answer 1

He is an uncouth classless boor..
Divorce him...

Answer 2

This is a hard question to answer but here goes my thoughts and suggestion. Since I don't know either one of you~I am going to assume some things that may be wrong. You both love each other, your both young and possibly immature (sounds like he is anyway) and you both need some help. Have you tried to calmly talk to him about your feelings, when I say this I don't mean while you are in bed together. Some time during the day when you both are in a pretty good mood. If you haven't done this then I think that you should. Tell him how you feel about him and listen to what he has to say. If this does not help then I would suggest counseling for both of you. But this is something I feel very strongly about~making love should not be a duty for either one of you. It should be very pleasurable for both of you!! Good Luck!

Answer 3

Wow, I am really sorry! The days of mothers telling their daughters 'just lay there and endure, it's your duty' are OVER, a healthy sexual live with one's spouse is sooooo important, it is truely a beautiful thing that is supposed to bring 2 to 1. It can also be fun, go for the 5 minute speed race before work, something you can both think about and look forward to getting home. When I first met my husband of 3 years now, he told me that romance starts in the morning, with a hug, a kiss, bringing your partner their first cup of coffee in bed, get the idea? Your husband, I'm sorry, sounds like a JERK, he needs help in many ways, geez, starting with understanding that a sexual relationship is just as important to his partner as it is to him! You have to give to get, and that goes both ways. You don't say how long you've been married, and most importantly, you didn't say that you love him. If this is as good as it is going to get, you need to ask yourself if this is how you want to spend the rest of your life, which is just as important as his. It's scary, I married first time at 18, stayed for 14 years and took a flying leap into life and I have never been so happy! I wish you the best of luck, and healing, my heart goes out to you. And by the way? It is NOT your duty, it's true for both men and women, RESPECT, both giving. Maybe he should 'talk to the hand' if you know what I mean, and have that 'duty' talk with ol' lefty!

Answer 4

You're so right. If he wants sex. He needs to stop it with the stupid talk. Duty as a wife? What about the duty of a husband? He sounds very self centered. My bf of 3 years and I kind of have the same issue- He wants sex but I don't feel like it because he doesn't do anything to put me in the mood. But, girlie- keep in mind- you guys are together, divorce and cheating hurts more. So during sex, even if you don't want it- when he starts talking- just put your hand over his mouth and "direct the situation" by saying something like- "shhh, I think it's sexy just hearing you moan.."

Answer 5

I feel you girl, My husband is the same way. Yes it is very frustrating, especially when we don't get anything out of it. I don't know about you, but no where on my marriage license or during my marriage ceremony did anyone say..and to have sex with him anytime he wants it. I don't know if you are on birth control or not, but birth control will lower your sex drive. That was alot of my problem, when I got off of the shot I could tell a huge difference in my sex drive.
I am not going to tell you to divorce him, but I will tell you that my husband did cheat on me because I would not "give him any". So, my advice is that you talk to him and tell him how you feel, and why. Then you two try to figure out what to do about it. Go buy you some toys, lotions, candles, or whatever it takes for you to get that spark back in the bedroom.
Good luck, and happy humping!!

Answer 6

What rock did this guy crawl out from under?

When my wife doesn't feel like it I don't force it. It just makes her tense and the sex isn't that good anyway. I was young and foolish once too. I'm sure if he'd buy you flowers for no reason and either took you out to a nice dinner or better yet cooked one for you, and if he would complement you and told you how much he loves you I'm sure you be in the mood more often.

Just last night I picked up some flowers for my wife. My son 7 year old son made a cad for her and we signed it and stuck the flowers in the mailbox. (My son and I get home before she does).
In case you're wondering I didn't get lucky last night and wasn't expecting to my wife found out that her mother is in the hospital being teste for alzheimer's. i just did it to try and cheer her up.

This is a minimum that you should expect from your husband. I'm not one to buy big expensive gifts, because i can't afford them, but these little gestures mean more to her than big gifts.

Good luck to you.

Answer 7

When he says that it is your duty as a wife then you need to have a come back and tell him it is also his duty to make sure that you are sexually satisfied as well. He is being selfish. I have been with my husband for 8 years 5 married and everytime we have sex he makes sure I am satisfied to the fullest. Your husband should be doing the same.

Answer 8

I have been married 20 yrs now, and my husband still wants sex everyday, yes there are times that i am not in the mood as well, but he also says that is why he married me, I told him okay, then he needs to spend more quality time with me not just in the bed, it seems like it has helped a lot.

Good Luck, and God Bless you!!

Answer 9

I suggest that you suggest to him that if he wants sex its only fair that you get romance. One way to change his lack of foreplay and romance is to stay A FEW STEPS AHEAD OF HIM.
or should I say how my wife changed me.

Try getting all dolled up and dress extremely sexy and get your husband t o meet you at a nice resturant bar. my wife always wears vintage stockings/garterbelt and would make sure I know shes wearing them by letting me feel her garters through her dress or by wearing open shoes so I could see the reinforced heel and toe in the vintage stocking.
Then at the bar when you have his total attention tell him that you love him and love sex and all that goes with it but you need to be romanced slowly. and you need him to be understanding of your needs and desires and if he does that for you that for you. you will be his sexual everything. and even more

Is what you are doing here is putting the focus back on you as being sexually desirable and yet you are setting some ground rules for him to work for. Because you are dressed sexy at this time and if you play him right, you will be in control and it will sound more appealing to him to comply,

It worked for me and maybe you in your own way. Try to comunicate and keep the romance alive

Answer 10

The kamasutra was written because some husbands felt that being the minute man was not fair for their wives. They were looking for techniques that would enhance the pleasure for their wives.

Your husband sounds a bit selfish and lazy. It does not take a genius to realize the more pleasure she gets, the more like she is willing to make time for you.

Answer 11

Look that's not good, people don't really get married because that guarantee sex everyday, some people actually believe that, it's not true, if he wants some then i suggest you do talk 2 him and if he doesn't want 2 listen then you know what don't give him any and tell him that, he might go looking for someone else but if he does leave his *** because he wasn't there for love.