my son will be 13 next month and has had a crush on a friends sister ....she is 16.....now I know that is not unusual at all......however she is recprocating the crush and she is starting to call him. I told him that is not allowed to happen and I hvae even told her not to call. I am afraid it could lead to more than a simple school boy crush because she is a little "fast"...any advise on how to handle this situation???
2006-10-28 09:17:31 · 10 answers · asked by deidra3970 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It might be better to sit him down and explain your feelings about all this as opposed to telling him that "this is not allowed to happen". If he had a solid explanation attached to your statement, he might actually reconsider all of this. He just needs to understand why you feel the way you do about all of this. There was this one commercial which said "Talk to your kids, they'll listen". Try giving him a good explanation as to why you feel the way you do.
2006-10-28 09:20:39 · answer #1 · answered by ravensfan172003 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The more you say no, the more the relationship is bound to happen. The only difference is that it will happen without you knowing; now you could put your son under lockdown, but that may lead to resentment. My advise is to let the relationship happen if it does, but make sure you know the 5 w's before he can go anywhere. If he does not tell you, with who, when, when, where, doing what, and for how long. then say he can not go until and only until you know all 5-6 things. This way you know everything and he does not resent you.
Also make sure he knows about sex, it is probably time to talk to him about it, he may not want to but make surehe knows. My next part may sound wierd, but it is very needed. Many young people who have sex do not use condoms because they are too afraid to buy them, dont let your son be one of them. If need be even buy him a pack because sex does happen and he needs to be prepared.
Basaclly just inform him about sex and STD's and how children are born from not wearing condoms. If you do al this it will most likely strenghen you and your son's relationship. Who knows he might even open up to you more. Just keep in mind that it is a very touchy subject to talk about and even though he will refuse at first, keep trying sooner or later it will get through.
Good Luck =)
2006-10-28 09:27:57 · answer #2 · answered by Doug 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you forbid, they will only do it in secret. Let her come to your house, then you can keep an eye on them. Show her courtesy etc. don't try to shoot it down, that will only make it fly higher, and behind your back. I had a neighbor who did something I thought was fantastic.. and I'll probably do the same thing. When his girls got to the point where they were dating, and he had 3, He put up a basketball hoop out front of his house. Then he let the girls have all the boys over they wanted, This way he could keep an eye on them. Attracted them to his house so they wouldn't have to do anything in private or behind his back. You know they won't do it right in front of you. Think abotu it I dO know for sure if you try to forbid it, and they do have feelings for each other, they will do it behind your back. Good Luck.
2006-10-28 10:07:00 · answer #3 · answered by flashpro 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes teach ur son that there are other girls in the world. not just her. and their is actually other girls in the world his age. teach him that she is a little fast and you dont want a woman like that because some day she might break your heart. teach him to get a real ladie. one who respects herself and others. and one who cares about her grade and more. BEST OF LUCK!!!!
2006-10-28 09:34:27 · answer #4 · answered by ♥la chica♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave it be for now mom. Wait & see if your son makes the right choice here. He is old enough now he has to be making his own decisions on HIS terms, not on yours. I know its hard, but you have to let go. He might surprise you by doing the right thing!
Good Lick!
2006-10-28 09:21:53 · answer #5 · answered by Feeling Froggy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, don't let her spend the night with your daughter when he is there. Also it really messes family's up. My older sister's BEST friend started going out with my older brother and now they are worst enemie's and my bro and sis aren't as close as they were. Oh, and she should listen to you when you tell her not to call him.
2006-10-28 09:20:47 · answer #6 · answered by ♥wOwZs♥ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
they are both still very young, for the moment it has not got very far. so just give your son the best advice possible,and let him discover for him self. if you get to involved it might back fire against you ! care full wat you say and do , he might go that extra step just to annoy you because he is a teenager and teen ages often do wat is not allowed only because its not allowed!
it also depends wat sort of surrounding he lives in if his mates have all ready gon with an older girl, it might just be to copy to be able to say iv been with.....but he might be to shy and scared of doing anything just yet..,.
don't get to involved you will only become an enemy.....
2006-10-28 09:31:34 · answer #7 · answered by eddie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may want to talk to the girls parents. Tell her that you think their daughter may like your son and you would like them to talk to her because you think your son is too young to be dating.
Good luck!
2006-10-28 09:19:31 · answer #8 · answered by xoxox 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Thats not really normal stop him.
Hey , if the girl hates him, tell ur son that she already eate a human being! ( If she lets you!)
2006-10-28 09:21:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
lol. I'm thinking she's already blown him. you need to talk to her parents have them deal with their daughter. In the mean time, you need to deal with your son.
2006-10-28 09:20:03 · answer #10 · answered by no_wait_hes_spartacus 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋