13 yr old son and a "girlfriend"...advise please?

Question

my son will be 13 next month and has had a crush on a friends sister ....she is 16.....now I know that is not unusual at all......however she is recprocating the crush and she is starting to call him. I told him that is not allowed to happen and I hvae even told her not to call. I am afraid it could lead to more than a simple school boy crush because she is a little "fast"...any advise on how to handle this situation???

OK after reading all the wonderful answers, I guess I was not clear....HE IS NOT DATING...or talking on the phoe a lot to her...I said she is starting to call him but i do make sit in the living room when they are on the phone...She has been sexually active before and her parents could care less.They are very trashy and uninvolved....

Answer 1

I am 20 and It wasnt that long ago when I was 16 obviously. I know that girls dont like to date boys that are younger especially 3 years because its ''not cool.'' They like older guys. The only reason that a older girl in my opinion would like a younger boy is to crouped him. Seriously! If this girl is experienced in sex or anything else they like to impose this on younger boys. It makes them feel powerful to have this kind of hold on a younger boy. I could be wrong though. I dont think that a 13 year old boy is old enough to date though. If you really wanna know what her intentions are you could listen in on a phone conversation. If you just want it to end you could talk to the girls parents. Dont tell your son that she is too old for him because that makes it seem like you dont trust him. Just simply tell him that he is too young to date and talk on the phone to girls period. I hope I could help.

Answer 2

Catch 22

If you don't get involved there will be situations your son isn't ready to handle

If you do get involved & he finds out about it.. even years later... then expect him to not be open with you & possibly act out of retaliation & do something he REALLY doesn't need to be doing

Your only real option... don't try to appeal to him that he is "to young".. that will only insult him... try explaining to him that she is "to much older than him" and problably has other interests than he has & surely at her age is allowed to stay out longer than he is. Perhaps explain that you would be happy for him & mixed group of boys & girls closer to his age to go to a movie or the mall or skating with a chaperone.

Maybe even agree with him that you can see why he would like her, she is smart, pretty, whatever... and that the attention is surely flattering to him; however, she needs to be showing interest in boys her own age.

In the long run it will work out better if he sees you being parental but understanding & on his side :)

It is more important for you to share the logic that she is too old than to enforce the logic that he is to young to be talking to her. He wont see talking as an infringment or dating or even leading to dating (or at least most 13 year olds don't)... she on the other hand most likely does & may be doing this for a myriad of reasons (none at his best interest)

Answer 3

While since talking to her and her parents won't work I'd try talking honestly with your son about there age difference and her lack of morals or have a male figure he looks up to( not having to be he's dad a big brother or older cousin or uncle maybe) help to talk to him so he's not think your being a mom and no ones good enough for your son Good luck and God Bless

Answer 4

My advice may not be the normal, communicate and all will be well. I would not go on and on about this situation with him. I would not have long chats. This is one of those, "because I said so." Simple and straight forward. There will be no convincing him or her that this is "not a good idea." If you do try to convince either of them, their will be a lot of, "but mom you don't understand." You will seem "old fashion" no matter what is said. Be on top of his whereabouts and simple say, "absolutely not!"

Answer 5

Let her know that if she don't stay away, you'll tell the police, cause if she's 16 and get involved with a 13 year old, that' s not legal..
That will probably scare her off:-) A 16 year old who would want to be with a 13 year old is weird, (!) and you don't want her messing up your son.

Answer 6

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The herpes simplex virus usually enters the body through a break in the skin around or inside the mouth. It is usually spread when a person touches a cold sore or touches infected fluid—such as from sharing eating utensils or razors, kissing an infected person, or touching that person's saliva. A parent who has a cold sore often spreads the infection to his or her child in this way. Cold sores can also be spread to other areas of the body.
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Answer 7

13 is a little young to be dating, especially if the subject of the "crush" is older. Encourage your son to hang out with people his own age. If the girl continues to push, you tell her and/or her parents that her behaviour is not acceptable.

Answer 8

Keep an eye on your son, and control his phone calls...Keep him busy with stuff he likes (sports, games...etc)

Have a good mother-to-son talk about the situation and how things could turn up

Answer 9

Call her mother and explain your concerns and ask her to talk to her daughter. Tell her if your son shows up over there to please send him home. Kids are growing up to fast now a days and don't need any help from the older kids.

Answer 10

remember, you are the parent, you are in charge. you are not his friend. you need to do what you think is in his best interest, not what will make him like you. be firm, set the ground rules of when he can start dating. personally i think 13 is too young to start dating anyway. when i was in 8th grade there were 2 couples in my class and both of them were sexually active.

you do what you feel is necessary as the parent. i think one of the biggest problems now days is that the parent wants to be the child's friend as well. if that happens, see it as a bonus - not a necessity.