My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years. We've had our ups and downs but always worked it out. He is thinking about moving 5 hours away to finish his degree and then work down there. We had talked about moving down there together and waiting to get married. Now he's saying he's not even sure if he wants me to move there with him, much less marriage anywhere down the road. I know he loves me but he knows how important this is to me and at one point it was to him as well. Do you think that a break will make him realize his feelings for me and that I am the one?
2006-10-28 08:52:07 · 24 answers · asked by suthrngal84 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
if he dates other people, no. if you guys hold a long distance relationship and are faitful to each other, i see no problem with it working out. maybe he just needs a little time physically away. so long as it is a mutual agreement that you two will still be in a faithful relationship, he may see how much he misses your physical presense.
my husband is in the military and neither of us really mind when he leaves, it gives us time apart - which we both need. of course i'm not liking it so much now with a little one - i miss the help, but we've been together for almost 7 years now and he's been deployed/in training/out in the field 7 times durring that. we will have probably spent about a total of 2 1/2 years apart when he comes home from this deployment.
2006-10-28 08:57:54 · answer #1 · answered by Jenessa 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your boyfriend is questioning your moving with him and marriage,then yes,a break is what you need. With him working on his degree and starting a new job in a new place,he is probably trying to concentrate on that,and he could be confused as to what he is feeling about your relationship. If he is questioning a life with you,then you really do need the time away! As sad as it is to say this,be thankful that he is questioning this BEFORE you uproot your life to move with him and then find out that he doesn't want you with him anymore. As much as it might hurt now,it would hurt ALOT worse if you actually did move with him and find out that he wanted out of your relationship.
As far as if the break will make him realize his feelings for you,it will give him time to think things through,and if he decides that you should move with him,chances are your relationship would be a lasting one,but if he decides he doesn't want you there even after the time away,then it is a good possibility that it wouldn't work out for you after all.
Be thankful he is questioning things now,and not later!
I wish you alot of luck,and hopefully,the right decision will be made!
2006-10-28 10:38:47 · answer #2 · answered by roses are red 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Taking a break should work one way or the other.
There's no point in trying to hold on to him if he's distancing himself from you emotionally as well as geographically.
Better to find out that this relationship won't work BEFORE a marriage takes place.
Look at the separation as a test of your relationship. If it survives the test, then you will both feel more confident in keeping it going.
But it will do you no good to be doing everything you can to hold him close to you if he's not willing to do the same where you are concerned.
2006-10-28 08:59:46 · answer #3 · answered by No More 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it's up to you.
I think maybe you should try giving him a break. He could realise how much he misses you and that you are "the one".
So if you feel confident, then give him a break. Besides, you don't want to seem too clingy, right?
If you guys are still young, then talking about marriage might seem too soon. Let him go down there to finish his degree. Then take it from there.
But also, a break could make him realise other things too. So be careful... he could meet someone else and then want to bewith them. So if he does go down there, just make sure you guys have a strong relationship and are close.
It's your choice though. ^_^
Good Luck!
2006-10-28 12:52:21 · answer #4 · answered by Kalia 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say it; but if he loves you wouldn't he want you to go with him or be willing to marry you?? If he's not ready to commit to anything now, should you just sit around, let him get "the top of the cake" and just wait and hope that perhaps he would want to marry you some day?? You could totally waste years of your life in that situation..
Maybe being without you will help him see that you're important to him, or maybe you need to start looking for a man that won't have such a lukewarm attitude towards you?
Good luck!
2006-10-28 09:13:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A "break" is just a indirect way of breaking up. He's trying to let you down easy which in my opinion, isn't easy at all. Like a bandaid, you have to rip it off quickly, if you pick at it and do it slowly, it hurts more.
He has said, according to you, that he's "not sure if he wants me to move there with him, much less marriage anywhere down the road." I think that's the answer to your question.
2006-10-28 08:55:21 · answer #6 · answered by misskate12001 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately this is not a good sign. It seems that he is trying to break up with you and doesn't know how to tell you. I honestly don't think it would work out. I think if you guys break up you should not see someone for a while to see what happens. Don't get serious with anyone at least. TRY not to call him so often to see if he continues to call you on the regular. Then take it from there. This shows hes still interested. Its worth the wait.
2006-10-28 09:16:46 · answer #7 · answered by Keymay 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he already knows his feelings, but it is possible that absence might make the heart grow fonder...I wouldn't put too much hope in it though or you may be setting yourself up for more hurt...
A break can sometimes be what a relationship needs to get back on track...more often though, it's the beginning of the end...it may be that your time together has run its course...
2006-10-28 08:58:38 · answer #8 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't want you to move down there then he doesn't feel that you are the one, no matter how much you may feel he is the one. You deserve, just like everyone deserves, someone who loves you the same and as much as you love the other person. You shouldn't have to feel like you have to beg for him, it should be a mutual thing, equal.
2006-10-28 08:54:58 · answer #9 · answered by FaerieWhings 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well it seems he has an idea, and wants to try it out.
So let him!.....
But I can fully understand what your saying...it must have come as a surprise!
I had this happen once, and in the end you have to let things just pan out....o.k....no use getting yourself upset too much.
He wants it this way?...and I think in the very very long run, it will have to happen.OR he will resent you big time, later.
Do not show too much emotion..if possible.o.k. and be strong.
2006-10-28 09:00:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋