Rude Sister-In-Law?

Question

Is it wrong for me to get upset about my sister in law talking about my husband's ex IN FRONT OF ME after he has told her numerous amount of times not to? I don't care if they want to talk about her for hours when im not around but dont i deserve that respect--at least?

Answer 1

just act really interested, and say "you two must have been thick as thieves, so you must really know why they aren't together anymore. tell me. if she don't ,walk away and think of something else" nice "to say. she is just evil ,kill her with "kindness".

Answer 2

My ex-sister-in-law was a nasty b*tch who went out of her way to butt into our personal business and constantly criticize and comment on everything we did. My then-husband, her brother, was too afraid to stand up to her because she gave him money and he didn't want to piss her off (and cut off his gravy train). I finally had a big fight with her on the phone and never spoke to her again, which was just fine with me.

Your sister-in-law has issues that have nothing to do with you. She is clearly TRYING to piss you off, and, from the sound of it, she's succeeding. You have two choices, maybe three. You've already tried having your husband speak to his sister, and apparently, that hasn't worked, so, I would count him out for future chats - he's done what he thinks he can do and isn't gonna want to get dragged into the middle of the cat fight. Leave him out of it from now on. That leaves two choices - you can either ignore her completely (and I do mean completely), or, you can call her up (or go to her house when you know she's going to be home, alone), and ask her, point blank, what the hell is her friggin' problem? It's not likely that she is going to feel badly about the way she's behaved, so, don't go expecting any kind of contrite response from her. Just let her know, in no uncertain terms, that you find her disrespectful behavior to be juvenile and pathetic, and that you have lost total respect for her as a woman. You recognize that she is entitled to be friends with whomever she chooses (like your husband's ex), but, you will not tolerate her being blatantly manipulative in your presence. If it happens again, get up and LEAVE THE ROOM. Leave the house if you have to. Go somewhere else and do something constructive until she is gone. Let your husband know that you expect him to stand by your decision to not spend time around his sister until she decides to start acting like an adult.

The point is - she will continue to goad you as long as you let her. You can either sit there and take it, or you can speak your mind and remove yourself from the area.

Last resort is to fight fire with fire. Track down HER ex (hopefully he's a real loser), and invite him over to your house the next time you know she's going to be there. Sit back and watch the fireworks. I bet she doesn't bother you too much after that.

Answer 3

Well, it does drive you crazy and I guess she's trying to aggravate you to the point you lose it and then everybody will be on her side. Never retaliate. I know it's hard. We feel like punching the person on the face, but please don't. Try not to even change your face expression when she's around. And don't walk away either. Walking away means you didn't like what she said. She will always do that to keep you away. So just hang in there, I know it's hard... and don't talk bad about her to her family. Just let her bite herself until she gets killed with her own poison.

Answer 4

Look her straight in the eye and say "How can I earn your respect?"

Or, say "I know you meant that in the nicest possible way, but we're really going to have to work on your social skills"

The problem here is the your hubby's sister probabloy bonded with the ex, and she is projecting her hurt and betrayal on you instead of him, where it belongs. You are caught in the crossfire of an issue that exists between those two.

This is his responsibility to resolve with her. If he does not, then he is showing his disloyalty to you and dishonoring you and your marriage. You are starting to resent him (with good reason) as he is allowing his sister to drive a wedge between you two. Teach him how to treat you. Teach her how to treat you. Don't be passive and allow this to continue.

He needs to step up and be a man, defend you and your marriage, and ask het to leave whenever she starts stirring the pot. He should not allow her the opportunity to poke a stick in your cage like this.

You need to step up and not allow yourself to be dieregarded like you are. Step up and tell him what I said here, and if he doesn't get it, then ask her to leave yourself. Let her know she is not welcome in your home unless she can show you and your marriage some more respect.

You are not wrong to have a problem with her behavior, and you do have a right to be upset and frustrated with her (and your hubby's) lack of respect. You do and you should, stand up for yourself to him and to her also.

She is pushing your buttons and trying to get you to react, for her own satisfaction. Seek to understand that. Ask her if she was really close with his ex, what their relationsip was like. If there was none, or she can't tell you about it, then she is using this issue to aggravate you because she is secretly in love with her brother and feels that she has the right to be the dominant woman in his life. She feels like she has the right to choose who he can be with, and what he can do.

Whatever the case, it's NOT your problem. There is NOTHING wrong with you. You DESERVE better then this from her, and from your hubby.

TELL HIM THAT.

Answer 5

Wow u in basic terms defined my sister... she easily skipped over my telephone calls the entire time i replaced into pregnant, and while it got here time for me to have my son I had to flow away a voice mail telling her i replaced into having him so she ought to come to the wellbeing facility, she lives quite a few states removed from me so I dont could desire to be hectic approximately her, yet ever via fact that I had my son each time she visits she expects ME to be caught up her butt so she will see my son... I in basic terms grin and bear it fairly some the time, yet i'm to the factor now that as quickly as she is obtainable in for Thanksgiving she's no longer seeing my son, they way i seem at it she by no potential cared while i replaced into pregnant with him so why ought to she care now? inclusive of your SIL i might in basic terms grin a bear it for a rapid on a similar time as, she will possibly in basic terms return to her previous procedures and dissapear ultimately, if she would not and you nevertheless dont like the way she acts then tell your hubby which you dont decide for the toddler round her, and if he insists on letting her see the toddler then decide for him, as much as you dont decide for to be round her, in case you spend a while together with her you would be able to alter your recommendations or perhaps make a clean buddy! however the probabilities of her dissapearing after the "newness" wears off are exceedingly solid, in case you are able to handle it till then.

Answer 6

The sister-in-law may not like you and chooses to disrespect you out of spite. The next time she does it put it back in her face. If she says something like when my brother was with ..... just say to your man....damn you must didn't like her to well because you don't do that anymore and just smile and ignore it ...they will stop when they see it doesn't bother you anymore.

Answer 7

let yor husband handle it, if not it can become a family feud. she totally sucks. you deserve respect. she might hasve a crush on her...

Answer 8

Well looks like she doesnt like you at all. You need to have a talk with her, shes doing it to piss you off.

Answer 9

a sister is a sister, you can't change them! they just can't see their kid brothers otherwise. Be understanding and if u don't like it walk away.

Answer 10

its ok to avoid people who cause trouble...family or friends or strangers...dont be around her