I have met people who were happily married for 20 years to 55 years, and they all have their reasons, some say its giving each other space, while the others say its about adapting to the new life together, What is your opinion or even experience?
2006-10-28 08:34:47 · 73 answers · asked by Olderwiser 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i would have been married 65 years but my one person in this world passed on 7 years ago and i can tell you its got to be a case of love each other every day and never ever stop putting your arms round each other and just saying i love you and its not until your parted you really know what its like to be all alone
2006-10-28 08:43:13 · answer #1 · answered by srracvuee 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Faith , Hope , Patience , Understanding
God created the union between Man & Woman
The 2 shall be as one .
That takes time & Patience
Remember : No matter how long a couple are together ,
They will NEVER know everything about each other .
There will always be SECRETS
Why : Because we are ALWAYS changing . Everyday there is a part of us ( mental or physical ) that changes
Faith in God
Love for one another
Loads of Patience
Slow to anger
Those I would say are most important to a happy & long Relationship
Faith in GOD is 1st .
Understanding that God doesn't let anything happy by accident .
That everything happens for a specific reason .
Bad times come & go .
GOOD times last forever
2006-10-28 12:23:47 · answer #2 · answered by shawn_lamprecht 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The secret to a long and happy marriage is first of all, communication. If you talk to each other as friends and develop the type of relationship to where you can tell your mate anything then you all will be inseperable. Next, never let the flame go out. Remember why you fell in love with that person in the first place. Don't dwell on the reasons you are falling outof love. Third, never ever bring up the past. Let the past stay in the past. If you say you have forgiven that person, do not bring it up ever again (especially not if you are angry). Fourth, do not go to bed if you are angry or upset at your mate. Talk it out and settle it. Fifth, respect the other person's space, but not just their phyiscal space, but also, their mental space. Meaning, if they have an opinion about something, let it stay an opinion, and do not take it personally. Sixth, remember to that person you love them everyday, even if you are not in the mood. Seventh, never hide anything, or keep secrets. Know that you can trust your mate. Eighth, have the right priorities when you first go into the relationship. Relationships are built on love, joy, peace, and communication. Ninth, do something to put a smile on your mate's face. Don't let Christmas and birthday's be the only day you give your mate a gift of love to show that you appreciate them. And finally, stand up for what you believe in. If you love your mate, don't be afraid to let the world know that.
2006-10-28 08:48:06 · answer #3 · answered by brina489 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
All of the above opinions are part of the recipe. You have to know going in that a marriage is a life of it's own. Marriage is a job. But it is a job you can love, even through the hard times. I am a little old fashioned in my beliefs. People tend to marry so quickly today. As though they were purchasing something at Walmart. If they don't like it tomorrow they can return it. With reciept, of course. LOL. You should have spent enough time with this person before you even consent to marriage to have seen them deal with many different situations and around many different kind of people, see how the react and respond and resolve.
I wanted to say. When you've grown as a person. But I hope I am stilling growing until the die I leave this earth.
I have been divorced twice. I have felt the pain and learned to grow from it, even when I didn't want too. I may be wrong but I would have to say and it might sound a little cliche. When your truly happy, fulfilled, satisfied and grounded in your own growth as a person and your biggest desire of this other person is to have no one else you would rather go through all this with you, just to look over and see them smile when your happy, when they dry your eyes when you cry, when they laugh at your jokes, and rejoice in your successes. When they are truly there to just be someone to share this ride in life with. That is where you find truly happily married couples. When the only agenda you have for them is to love you and accept the love you give back and enjoy the ride together. When you don't need this person to complete you. Only to compliment the great work you have already done on yourself. What a nice addition to you.
2006-10-28 10:50:24 · answer #4 · answered by cowgirlup64 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think people really know what goes on behind closed doors in a relationship. A lot of people are together for years and years, and they seem happy to the outside world, but they might be with a mate just because of inertia.
In the past people married very young, before age 20 even, so it became such a habit to be with this other person that they would not even consider leaving them. That's what they probably mean by adapting to their new life together.
You really need to be happy with yourself as an individual first and foremost, then it helps if you and the person you are with have common goals.
2006-10-28 08:42:53 · answer #5 · answered by Marti M 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The best thing a man can do to help with having a long lasting marriage, don't critisize his wife for little things. Also guys don't think about your needs and wants, think of your wife, and about satisfying her needs. It will mean alot to your wife.
Don't expect her to give you sex when you want it, because that will only cause resentment. Also don't expect her to do what you want. There has to be give and take in a marriage. To make the marriage work, you have to work at it. Also and this is my personal belief, that you MUST make God the center of your marriage, because if you live your lives honoring God, and honoring each other, God will bless your marriage.
Also when there's conflict in your marriage, and there will be conflict, keep the lines of communication open.
The line don't go to bed angry is a good one, and there's alot of reason for that. Because the longer you hold your anger, the more resentment breeds.
Communication is a big key. Be open and honest with each other and don't keep secrets.
Hope that this helps. Take care and God Bless
2006-10-28 08:58:32 · answer #6 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
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2016-02-12 04:37:53 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think of the other person first and don't think of separtation or divorce as an option. I can list all sorts of other things that are important, it would take more time than you have to read the answers and more space than Yahoo wants me to use but...these are the basics. If you both try to look at things from the other person's point of view, if you are both more interested in pleasing the other person than yourself and neither of you think there is an easy out (like divorce) when a problem comes up you can stay married for a long time and yes be happy, very happy.
2006-10-28 08:43:47 · answer #8 · answered by IF 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well i'll be damned! ive never seen a post in here get so much attention... i think you asked the question of the day, that everyone has an opinion on!
i think the most important thing to realize, in order to make sure that your marriage will stay together, is that the infatuation phase will end... and after that you need to have solid communication and a DESIRE to both be in the relationship... you have to continually want to grow together, and be willing to change and be patient when your partner is the one who needs to change, and i think above all it has to be a 100% commitment from both sides that only death will part you. if you make room for divorce in your life than it WILL happen, without a doubt. you can never have that in the back of your mind as an option.
its not about marrying the one you love, but loving the one you marry...
for those who do not believe in the "sanctity" of marriage, then you are doomed and should not marry.
2006-10-28 08:48:57 · answer #9 · answered by don't be rude. 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
100% Honesty with each other is the best start in any marriage or long term relationships. That and being tolerant of each others habits within reason of course. Then you have to be compatable which is always a gamble, the old saying that you don,t know people untill you live with them rings true.
2006-10-28 21:13:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When two people give to each other uncondititionally thats a perfect receipe for a long lasting relationship.
The more that you give the more you love that person. The perfect example is with a child. For the first 5 years of their life the parent only gives gives gives!, the child is not able to give in return other than a smile and laugh.
What happens is that giving parent loves that child more and more as time goes on by their unconditional giving.
Same with a couple, all long term healthy relatinships are usually beause of tons of giving on each side.
2006-10-28 08:39:25 · answer #11 · answered by jos e 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋