my friend and i'd known each other for about 4 yrs. we 've been dating about a year. 4 months after dating we moved in together,after living together for 23 days found out we're expecting a baby in december. everything has changed so much, so fast. i love him but now find myself so upset about things and feel i've no control over my own life. he'll never love me the way i love him. i'll never be the girl he wants and he wants to be w/ other girls he says. i'm crushed because he was my best friend. how things have changed! he never wants to be around me anymore and lies about the dumbest stuff. he used to call me all the time. we'd talk for hours and he'd whine about his fake friends. now, they're the most important people on earth. we used to do everything silly together: go shopping, drive around, get coffee, go on walks...just being with him made me so happy. now, when i need him to go to birthing class or help me w/housework, he's off to party. what should i do once the baby's born?
2006-10-28 08:19:40 · 3 answers · asked by green eyed sole 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i should clarify that we didn't just hop in the sack together. 4 years is awhile to wait. we were good friends, like close friends. and by that i mean, we shared crap: high school stories, plans for life, dreams, fears, opinions about families/friends all that. we told each other stuff i've never told anyone. AND i was on the pill and never missed a period. my baby must've somehow been meant to be's all i can figure. and i am thinking of her-bad examples can leave some bad impressions on children! i just don't know that our relationship can handle the unavoidable changes that are sure to come-is he going to be a good father figure? can he be patient with a newborn? can i get some help w/ the freakin' housework? i doubt that i'm gonna be up to mopping and doing dishes after labor. i've been in crappy relationships before. i guess i must not have cared much because i've never felt this way. maybe i'm emotional/hormonal. council is advice, which is why i'm asking here and i am in therapy.
2006-10-28 09:08:03 · update #1
You answered your own question.
The baby *was meant to be*. The "wrong" year was really a blessing. You have the baby now.
The father is not *neccessarily* meant to be.
Instead of feeling bad for yourself, remember, you are a queen. Let him know that he has to rise up and be a father and partner.
One more comment like that, and he is dismissed.
Sounds like he fulfilled his cosmic purpose though.
Good luck.
2006-10-28 10:48:45 · answer #1 · answered by emilsignia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that you need counseling and fast. It is not about you and or him ANY LONGER. Be concerned for your child now. Sounds like the both of you were too immature to be moving into together and far too immature to be having a child. But you can not change that now. Go to counseling. You need to find your self esteem and grow with it and your child. If you think you'll never be the girl he wants, TRUST THAT INSTINCT, you will never be. Going from being friends to SEX usually dies end a lot of REALLY good friendships. Cough this up to a learning experience. Before you sleep with someone, especially before you move in with someone, make sure you talk about what kind of future both of you desire, you may find during the talk that you both want different things...and save yourself some grief and perhaps the birth of another child that will forever change your life even more. Be more careful.
2006-10-28 15:49:48 · answer #2 · answered by SKayeMesqTX 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
don't stay in a toxic relationship. it's not healthy for you or the baby. keep your happiness in mind, and get out!
2006-10-28 15:23:42 · answer #3 · answered by *KiM* 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋