Why is it that you always want what you don't have and have what you dont want?

Question

It's hard to find fulfillment. Why is that? Why can't we just find what we want and then be happy forever?

Answer 1

Go ask that Murphy guy who invented the Murphy's Law.

Answer 2

I think this one can be answered with Darwinian Evolutionary Theory...

All human genetic traits, whether they be physical or behavioral form some adaptive function. Adaptive means that it makes them or there offspring more capable of competing and outperforming others in the evolutionary chain.

Let's take your question...if we had the trait of contentedness, then we become complacent, don't compete, and don't constantly strive to get more and have something else. Resources and mating opportunities make us and our offspring more able to outperform and take things from others. Those within the species that have this "restlessness" then continue to get more and take more...and, as much as it is distasteful to some, if you have an "itch" to have another woman...or man...then conceiving another child which has varied genetics is good for your statistical survival as a genetic reservoir of characteristics.

So...that behavior of being discontented is what drives change and advancement. Those societies, groups, and tribes that most quickly advanced, survived, thrived, and lived on. Those that most wanted to have "more" got more and then outperformed, dominated, and lived on to a greater degree than those that were "happy and contented". The trait is adaptive. Those without the trait to want more died out and have been dieing out.

It's not good or bad...it's just survival of the fittest. It doesn't necessarily have a philosophical or spiritual reason.

Answer 3

what a fantastic question little c! if only i'd come up with this!
but anyway, for me the reason as to why it is that is down to the fact that although it would be something that we could only dream about for ourselves, in reality it is never the case because in reality, it would not allow something like this to happen. sometimes therefore, no matter how hard you try to get your hands on that one thing that you've wanted, especially when it comes to finding the special person you've want to spend the rest of your life with, you just never get it. with the woman/man you've wanted to fall in love with, they might just turn you down. unless that is, they change their minds and decide that they do want you after all!

but hey, that's life- yes its hard and yes it sucks sometimes. and yet even if you don't get what you want in the end, just stop and turn your attention to something or someone else. because by doing so, you'll eventually get it if you persevere. having said that, my message would be to people like yourself not to give up looking for what you want.

Answer 4

Because we think what we want and need are material things. And for some unfortunate people born to horribly unfortunate circumstances, they are right. Ironically, it is these people who often have the best grasp of faith and spirituality. Oh what they could teach us!

But where the basic needs of food, clothing, shelter, water, and satisfactory employment have been met, we need to realize that our needs our spiritual and not material. Our commercial society depends on our failure to realize this. And so we try to meet non-material needs through material goods in an addictive and never ending cycle.

Answer 5

Because some people are always looking for the greener grass. I want for nothing. Even the possessions I have I do not want. I feel fulfilled.

Answer 6

I whole-heartily,fully, and enthusiastically believe that If individuals would simply ask themselves, I say simply, when more accurately, it is a very complex thing, What is it ? IT! What is the thing most you want?
Want to; learn ? See? Do? Possess? Control? Accomplish? Attain? Invent? Experience? Love ? Hate? or perhaps What would you most ~WANT TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE WORLD!!! fear,laughter,tears,knowledge,insight,wisdom,dreams,mistakes,love,caring,compassion,empathy,etc... I know I want to leave this lifetime with more of all of those things, simply put, I want someone, anyone, to know that I existed, and that I mattered!! That I was definitely not taking up space or breathing air that someone else would of used better!!!

Answer 7

That's because life naturally needs change. People need change in their lives to keep it going. Who wants a life where everything is set out for them everyday? Routine is a good thing sometimes; however, it can become quite boring.

You want what you don't have simply because you want to know what it's like. Curiosity.

You don't want what you already have because you already know what it's like and you need more. Excitement.

Answer 8

Wanting and having are two things which make the cycle of birth and death. you act for what you want and you end up getting what you sowed in that process. If you always act for the benefit of others and be true in your intentions and dealings you will automatically end with what you want.

Answer 9

Because we are hard-wired that way. We come from a long line of "competitive organisms" and as our intelligence and reason developed this came along with it. It ensures competition and genetic variety.

Answer 10

I want my 16 year old daughter to stop slashing/self-mutilation and it's called cutting.

She laughs and think it's a joke....just got her court ordered into counseling...and she thinks that's a joke. Someday she may look down at her scarred body and think the scars are ugly...so I am ugly...so I will........... fill in the blanks.

Fulfillment means that you accept change, and accept yourself and yet still strive to make all of your dreams come true.....we don't want to stay in the past or become stagnant.....we want to believe in ourselves and in our thought of GOD and that GOD will always take us back...just as we are!