ever since i got married my self esteem has gotten low?

Question

i am an attractive young woman and i use to feel it but ever since i got married i am easily intimidated by other woman my self esteem is not what it use to be my husband says hes happy and im sexy to him but when he watches tv he is all into the big booty big titty woman should i care or what is some advice

Answer 1

I would try explaining to him that his oogling these other women on TV makes you uncomfortable as you don't resemble them. Ask him what he likes about your body so you feel better, but also remind him that just because you are married does not make it okay for him to start oogling TV chicks in front of you, especially if he never did it before. I think a lot of women feel the way you do after they are married because their husbands become very inconsiderate of their feelings, doing things they would NEVER have done when you were dating and treating more like a roommate then a sexual partner!

Answer 2

First of all, it is important that you understand that your self esteem is not dependent on what your husband thinks or does. That is why it is called "self" esteem. You are responsible for how you feel about yourself. If you are dependent on your husband for your own happiness, eventually you are either going to realize it is a doomed belief and stop it, or you are going to get sick of your husband (in about 5-7 years) and then blame him and then file for divorce. And then you are going to repeat the same pattern in the next relationship.

Happiness is a higher creative and spiritual place that you can put yourself in at any moment. It is about controlling your mental state of mind so that you feel good about yourself. And it is controlled by you but you must learn to use what mental, spiritual, emotional and physical gifts that were given to you at birth by your creator to make yourself feel better. The bottom line is that anyone can tell you what to do but only you have the personal power to do it. Once you learn how to control your mental state, you will be set just as you learned how to walk (can you imagine waking up in the morning and realizing that you forgot how to walk - pretty ridiculous right).

Make yourself happy - period. There is no need for you to be an emotional victim because your husband doesn't give you exactly what you want. No matter how hard you try and he tries, he nor you will ever give each other what you want - and if by some chance that did occur - then that would become the problem. This is what is called the human condition and welcome to it!!!

Just focus on being a happy person, don't blame your husband for you unhappiness and don't try to change him but always try to change yourself - for the better. Appreciate what you have because one day you may not - be a loving and patient wife. If he is disrespectful toward you - if he is watching provocative programs with scantily clad women, then politely tell him that you find that offensive and that it is inappropriate behavior for a man to do in a marriage. Don't get mad and don't get even, just be cool and respectful. Anger never solves anything. Good luck.

Answer 3

Getting married can cause a woman's self esteem to get real low especially when she is taken for granted! Try to come into the room and do a strip tease in front of him! If necessary Stand in front of the T.V. If he asks you to move then you have a problem! Turn on some back ground music! Wear something black and sexy!

Answer 4

You have no reason to be insecure, he has told you that its you he wants. He chose you so feel good about that, it doesn't matter what other people think.

This is your relationship not theirs, no two relationships are the same. He is only human, as long as he only looks don't let it bother you.

I'm sure if you see a good looking man you look too, just because you get married and make a committment to another it doesn't mean you go blind or loose your appreciation for beauty.

What he see's in you is deeper then beauty he loves you for whats inside also, that you have and they don't.

Everyone looses their looks sooner or later but its what's inside that withstands the test of time. Just be happy that you found each other and build on that, don't worry about what others think, for all you know they may just be jealous and saying things to upset you.

Don't let them! He is your man not theirs, now focus on that and hold your head up high!

Answer 5

If he loves you and think your sexy I don't think you have any reason to worry. Just tell him that what he does and say makes you feel really uncomfortable. Don't worry about how others look. I know exactly how you feel. Try going to get your hair done and get your nails done once in awhile. Do things that make you feel good. I always like togo shopping that sometimes help. I never worry about what other wifes looks like. everyone has there problems just because they look golden on the outside dont mean they are perfect. Just remember that.

Answer 6

tell him his tv habits are insulting to you and you want him to stop...most younger men dont realize they cant talk to women like they do their friends...it is your husbands responsibility to make sure your self esteem is kept up with constant praise and appreciation...a man usually gets his self esteem and self confidence through his career accomplishments...a womans source of encouragement should be her husband...your husband probably is happy and he absolutely thinks you are sexy...he might have gotten a lil comfortable with your relationship....let him know that he has to continually work at making things great....buy a book on how to keep a good marriage and read it and show him some things that you think he needs to know...dont get into any kinky sex bull crap thinking it will excite things in your marriage...it will make things worse

Answer 7

Actually, my husband is VERY good for my self-esteem....
I am average, period. One night while we were dating (13 years ago) I think it was a Sandra Bullock movie we were watching, anyway, I said she is a pretty woman. My husband looked at me said, "Ya I suppose." That made me feel real good, because I think Sandra Bullock is a pretty lady, but my husband is not & was not impressed. He doesn't EVER say WOW look at her!!! or ANYTHING like that... He is the BEST thing for my self esteem!!!!

Answer 8

Sounds to me like he's expecting you to be like these women on tv. If he is, that can really have an effect on your self esteem, because he's expecting you to be something that your not. He needs to start thinking of you and your feelings more instead of himself.

I'm sorry that your having these problems. I know from expirience because I tried to make my wife be something that she's not and it had a disasterous effect on her self esteem.

I would recomend marriage counceing. It's done wonders for my wife and I in our marriage.

Answer 9

Let the jealousy go, or it will eat you up inside. You will then become someone , you never thought you would be and it will rip your relationship to shreds. Speaking from experience here, what do you think his leaving because of what you became will do to your self-esteem?

Answer 10

the question is are you sexy .
you have to feel sexy to be sexy.
big breast are overated however big booty is great.
smoke a big fat doobie of krypt and chill to the next episode.a
apply at a nudy bar and then turn them down when you get the job:)