We always fight of this. cos i get very depressed & sad very time he do something for his mother. we have 2 babies only 2 yrs old. i'm 30 & he is 31. i always feels i shuld devorce him & live alone. When we were dating before we got married we were so much in love but after getting married its starts to desapiar
2006-10-28 07:50:54 · 27 answers · asked by baby girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First thing to do is get some highschool and learn to spell, then once u have that maybe u can get a job to support yourself... then maybe u can think about divorcing him....
2006-10-28 07:54:01 · answer #1 · answered by Tina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His love for his mother may not be the problem here. If you are feeling depressed in your marraige you crave more love so i think this thing with his mom is something that you are focusing your emotions on. Depression is a very hard thing to cope with as you will not think and feel as you do normally. Get some councilling or see your doctor, give it a few months and see how you feel then as it could save your marraige. You mention you have 2 babies and from experience that does change a person a lot as you are thrown into a whirlpool of emotions. Postnatal depression was like a dark gloomy cloud hanging over me and i remember never feeling like anything was right. Also men can be very unsensitive to feelings and can be really unhelpfull in these situations. Just remember you won't always feel this way. Take care
2006-10-28 15:05:30 · answer #2 · answered by DONNAIS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get counseling. i dont know how long youve been married, but it is hard the first years to get adjusted to the other person. also, 2 kids add to the mix. what you feel is normal. hes probably clinging to his mom because hes still looking back to the kind of life he used to have with her, she cooked, did his clothes, etc.
but dont be jealous of this. shes always going to be the mom, and theres no competition between you, i assure you. at the same time, youre the wife, so were talking about 2 different kinds of relationships. be thankful that he loves his mom like this, since it shows kindness, although in an immature way.
thats why you need counseling, couple time, anything you can to revive the flame. if counseling is expensive, go to your church, talk to the pastor. but dont be hasty about the divorce, since your marriage is going thru a very common phase. some maturity needs to be achieved here. ignore the mom comments also. she is the best mom, but you are the best wife. otherwise, why would he marry you if that was not the case?
maybe the mom is jealous of you also, so youre both in the same boat.put your relationship first and counsel, please.
2006-10-28 15:09:56 · answer #3 · answered by cruzanglero 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if you don't really have a life of your own beyond looking after your children, doing all the housework and working.
What you need to do is talk to your husband and let him know that you need to get out and do things for yourself or that you would like to have some alone time together occasionally.
You sound as if you feel trapped because your husband is always round at his mums for one reason or the other...you need to put your foot down and tell him that he is married to you and not his mum...he needs to be there more for you and your children.
If he doesn't listen to your needs give him an ultimatum, it's either prioritising you and your kids over his mum or him moving out all together.
2006-10-28 15:12:09 · answer #4 · answered by debs1701 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, but you will NEVER change his opinion of his mother. Never.
Use it to your advantage, she's grandma, after all. Start viewing her as grandma. Ask her advice on things. Make an honest effort to try to see her not as your husband's mother but as your kids grandparent. Don't you want your kids to have an awesome Grandma? Make her one. Invite her to do things with you and your kids. Unless she is completly dangerous or inept at being around children, let her take the lead (she has done it for 31 years after all and you've only done it for 2). This will do 2 things for you
1. It will make your life easier to have help (even it you don't need it, it will strengthen your bond with your monster-in-law)
2. It will make your husband respect you and love you for trying to have a good relationship with his mom.
It will also create a good atmosphere for your children, another person around a lot to care for them. What could be better than that?
2006-10-28 15:08:02 · answer #5 · answered by jeshzisd 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband needs a reality check, you need to remind him that you can and do do things his mother can't and won't do for him like make love to him and give him two beautiful children.
Also your mother in law made her share of mistakes she only seems to know more then you due to experience. When your her age and have been married as long as her you will know more then her.
Another method may be to have a talk with your mom in law and get her to streighten him out.
2006-10-28 14:55:43 · answer #6 · answered by unknown friend 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to marriage. You should not be jealous of his mom because she brought him into this world. You wouldn't have the kid you do if he wasn't around, Doesn't mean you have to love her, but you better respect her. If you feel like you should not be with him for other reasons, then get the divorce over with now before you get to old and don't have as many opportunities to meet someone new that might be better suited for you. Trust your gut, it is always right.
2006-10-28 14:55:19 · answer #7 · answered by l'il mama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to come to terms with the fact that u can never beat a mother and son relationship, its terrible but always happens... my ex is nearly 40 and still does what his mother tells him to do...
most mens mum's are the other women, and u need to come to terms with that, at the end of the day he comes home to you and loves u for who u are...
2006-10-30 19:16:21 · answer #8 · answered by storm.minx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why shouldn't he help his mother?You seem to be over=possessive & controling.His mother is blood family,you are not.Try & understand the bond between them & realise she is no threat to you.I think the problem lies within your own nature,try & get that sorted,rather than take your children away from their father through divorce..
2006-10-28 16:00:21 · answer #9 · answered by michael k 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like u need to get real! ... if u stay then u r going to be in this situation for the rest of your married life ... and if u stay then i would suggest u stop bitching and get over it!
if u dont stay then u will have to work hard at getting your life back ontrack ... move out ... spend time with your family and friends and become independant again
what ever u do .... good luck
2006-10-28 15:07:14 · answer #10 · answered by tweetybird 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋