i'm married. My husband and I are going through some difficulties. I asked him for some time apart because I need to deal with my school work and also I asked for the time apart because my husband is always arguing with me, accusing me of cheating when i'm not, and just completely don't trust me. I asked him why did he marry me if he didn't trust me? he didn't have a answer for me. And also he told me if i want some time apart, he would do something to hurt himself. Before we got married, he did not act like this. He has completely changed. I think that the military and the war in iraq plays a big part on why he always threatens to hurt himself. (yes he is a veteran.) What shall I do?
2006-10-28 07:49:12 · 18 answers · asked by mercedes t 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Iraqi War ????
More like a conflict . Wars have people fighting back .
Terrorist have always been a part of the world .
But back to you Question
When you got married , your husband & you became as 1 .
There is NO such thing as a " Time-Out" in Marriage !!!!
Your either married or your not .
Your husband threatening to hurt himself ??
That is completely between him & God .
You have NOTHING to do with what he does , if your not there .
Leaving , isn't putting a gun to his head , and MAKING him hurt himself .
So , I would Ignore those treats . If he does do anything , you are not responsable , he is . And God will hold him accountable .
Difficult Times , will ALWAYS be a part of any Marriage .
Just because people get married , doesn't mean Bad Times go away .
Trust God , Trust your heart , God will lead you to where he wants you to be
2006-10-28 12:54:26 · answer #1 · answered by shawn_lamprecht 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
counsiling!! Him threatening to hurt himself is a way for him to control you - con you into staying! More often then not when a man is accusing you of cheating it is b/c he is cheating on you! I was with my ex-husband for 12 years. He did these same things and life got worse and worse for me and my children until I finally left him. If you love him get professional help, if he doesn't agree with you then you really should take the time apart. He's hurting YOU if you stay and take it!
2006-10-28 07:55:09 · answer #2 · answered by Scorpio 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to a marriage counselor together. If you still love him and want to be together taking "time apart" will only put your problems on hold, not solve them. Stop trying to run away from your issues and sit down with a professional and try to work them out. That would be the best thing for you both.
2006-10-28 07:53:10 · answer #3 · answered by jeshzisd 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should not leave your marriage due to schoolwork. I say talk to him first about what is going on and how you feel. If all else fails and you feel he is a threat to you then by all means separte but don't divorce. He is accusing you of cheating because he is insecure and he plays the i will kill myself if you leave me type thing to control you because he knows you won't go. You have to really think about what you really want. I would also suggest marriage counseling. I hope this works.
2006-10-28 07:53:39 · answer #4 · answered by shyhonney 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get him counseling. No doubt the war in Iraq plays a HUGE part of how he has changed. He needs someone to talk to about it. Get him help.
2006-10-28 08:24:14 · answer #5 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hello.....Try to set down and talk with him...trust is so hard in many people...to me it sounds like he loves you a lot and leaving isn't the answer...Turn to God first before u decide separate...go somewhere where u can be alone and lay it all out to him....you 2 need also to set down and have a talk. without yelling at each other..listen to what he has to say and he has to listen to what u have to say......ask him why he thinks u r cheating?..spend alot of time together ....im sure he will get past this insecurity he is going through ...GL and God Bless You Both
2006-10-28 08:01:20 · answer #6 · answered by Starbright 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately a lot of men and women coming back from Iraq have completely changed (mentally). It is also unfortunate that it is not going to get better and that you can either "love him in sickness and in health" or you can divorce him and find another man who will treat you right.
2006-10-28 07:51:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm afraid to say, your husband is now damaged by the horrors of war, but he is not hopeless, just helpless, and I would recommend getting someone for him to talk to, you may have to put your schoolwork on hold, if he is worth it too you. Lot's of issues to work out and I wish you both the best.
2006-10-28 07:53:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just leave him, usually when someone blames you for cheating the other person is the one cheating. It sounds to me that he doesn't love you anymore and he wants you to call it quits so he can blame you for everything that has gone wrong. he says he is going to hurt himself so you will feel bad about leaving him. Bring him to the hospital for depression and talking about suicide, they will admit him and put him on medication for depression, war can put you through alot of depression, he isn't doing anything but hurting your self asteem.
2006-10-28 07:57:21 · answer #9 · answered by kooimanlora 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men need to feel they're in control of things. He feels he's loosing control of things with you so he's threatening in a way he thinks will get to you the most. People who are gonna hurt themselves don't announce it first.
2006-10-28 07:52:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋