What shall I do, is it that my husband still loves his previous and first love?

Question

I don't know what to think. We have been married for 7 months and there is no romanticism at all. He has been hurt before by his exwife because she cheated on him and i wonder if he still loves her. The thing is that now he cannot even look into my eyes, he avoids romantic situations, it looks like I am a burden to him. At the very beginning everything looked like a fairy tail, now i feel very sad because i am in love with him but i feel that my feelings and admiration for him will start fading soon becoming hate. I treat him as a king and he knows that, but i suspect he doesnt love me. Thanks for your advice

I asked him yesterday if he loved someoneelse...and he started crying ..and for a moment he said.."idont love her,...i dont love anybody else..."

Answer 1

This scenario may not have anything to do with how he feels about his Ex. Did he tell you that was the reason? Unless he did, you are only speculating. Focus on the facts - avoid negative mind reading. Your relationship is lacking emotional intimacy. That is a fact. The question is what can you do about it? First, never give up. Second, ask yourself if you are a happy person? Also, are you dependent on your husband for your happiness? If you are dependent on him for your happiness, that is a problem. You need to be happy in and of yourself. Then you need to be patient and loving toward your husband. If he doesn't respond in kind, then politely tell him that you sense the emotional intimacy in the relationship is waning. Allow him to express his point of view. Be patient and non-judgmental. You really don't know what is on his mind until he tells you. Make a date with your husband and do the things that you guys did when you were in the courting phase of your relationship. Find ways to look at what is right in your marriage. It can't be all bad. Marriage requires significant work especially during the flat periods. There are always ups and downs - just as the sun rises and sets, the stock market goes up and down and as we sleep and rise. That is life. The trick is to realize that success comes to those who recognize that life doesn't always follow a linear path toward greatness - that things are always in a cycle. Never give up, don't have an affair if you feel lonely - even if one of your friends is doing the same thing. Good luck!

Answer 2

I Think U Should Talk 2 Him About How Your Feeling If He Dont No Then He Cant Fix Things N After U Give Him Your Feelings If Things Stay The Same Then Leave Him 7 Months Is 2 Early 2 Be Going Through Something Like That N The Longer U Stay The Harder I Will B4 U 2 Leave Him If It Comes Down 2 That But It's Your Life So Do What U Feel Is Right It's OK 2 Ask 4 Advice But When It Comes Down 2 It U Have 2 Do Whats Bust 4 u

Answer 3

I know this is very tough for you. I'm afraid I have to give you the tough love advice.

In my opinion if he was still in love with his ex, you should not have married him. You probably thought you could change his feelings, but the truth is that only he can do that and he can only do that if he wants to.

I am in a similar situation. My wife left me about two years ago and I was not in favor of the divorce but she met someone else. I still love her and because of that I have turned down five different girls because I don't want to hurt them when I have feeling for my ex. Until I put her behind me I will never have a serious relationship.

In your case, you need to really exam what is best for you. Can you live with a "ghost" in your marriage? I would sit him down and talk to him and tell him that he has to put her in the past or you all have no future. That's the right thing for you.

Take care,
P

Answer 4

I have been in this same situation for 8 years. Leave now. I waited so long that it is just a bad habit now. I have waited and waited and he keeps saying he is going to get better and he does for that night and maybe that week but it slowly slides right back to the same stuff. You will learn to hate him and you will lose respect for yourself and become bitter and very angry.
Think....if you only had 3 days to live would it be worth wasting it with him?

Answer 5

Ask him if he loves his ex
that may be a sign that he still loves his ex if he desn't give you romance then obviously he still loves her, men deny that they do not love their passed partners actions speak louder than words. be a strong person and do what is right find out if he still loves her then file a divorce and quit treating him like a king since he has feeling for his ex allow his ex to treat him like a king not you. just pack up find a nest of your own get a divorce and move on with your life.

Answer 6

Just ask him, if he is acting that way after 7 months, hows he gonna treat u after 7 years....? if u feel that he doesnt love u, i would leave, u deserve the same love in return and if he cant give it to u, well next!

Answer 7

Try counseling and if that doesn't work then if you feel that the marriage isn't worth saving, leave him. But only after some serious soul searching!

Answer 8

You could possibly be right-or now that he has you he thinks that he does not have to try anymore! Most of the men act this way!

Answer 9

it's goin to continue on and it's so not fair to you either...reminds me of hinders lips of an angel. you don't deserve this if he loves you enough to marry you then why cant he move on...ask him because this is terring you up

Answer 10

Hmmmmmm....... Maybe that is what happened in his first marriage. Maybe he got all cold on her after marriage. Maybe he has a prob. You need to talk to him about it. Good luck.