To set the scene...We're both 23 & have a great marriage! Our love is unlike any other I have ever seen.The thing is, BEFORE we got married, he cheated on me, not one, but with two. He says he "was young & stupid", & it didn't help that @ the time we were both in Iraq as soldiers & hours apart. I believe him with all of my heart. Ever since we got back together, got married he has proven to me in EVERY way & everyday that he would love me more than anything & never do anything to hurt me again. No prob, I believe that, the problem is Me. I don't know how to FORGET the past. I have forgiven him, had I not I wouldn't have married him. But it bites me every now & then & causes an argument.I hate hurting his feelings when my not forgeting the past comes up, he's so loving.I want to stop,stop & forget already, it seems so simple yet I can't find a way. Randomly it would pop up in my head, & my not being able to forget hurts our feelings.Youd think with so much love in between us Id forget.
2006-10-28 07:41:32 · 8 answers · asked by VolimT 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Create a mental diversion. When it pops into your head let it piss you off but how you handle it needs to be different. Rather than lashing out at him or trying to hurt him turn it into strength in yourself. Remind yourself that you need to be everything to him so that it doesn't ever happen again. Turn it around on yourself and be scared that you could lose him if you let it obsess you.
2006-10-28 07:46:37 · answer #1 · answered by Silly ol Me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you could sit down with him and tell him how it felt to be where you were in Iraq, with death an ever-present threat, which is a big stressor and one that he could understand, it might do the trick. What I'm trying to say is that both of you were under tremendous stress, and he caved under it, and cheated to cope with it. Sex, as I'm sure you know, is a great tension releaser. Whereas, you didn't buckle, stayed faithful, and resent the fact that maybe he couldn't do the same as a measure of his love for you. Can you think of anything you might have done during your relationship that may have disappointed him? If you can see where you may have erred in the relationship in the past, then you can see that even though you love him very much, you still made a mistake or two, that may have hurt him.
2006-10-28 15:01:24 · answer #2 · answered by Chatelaine 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel the same way, but my husband didn't cheat on me, he just did all these other crap. But it always hunts me too, and i never really forgave him but i just learn to let it go for awhile. It really hurts when they betray you, and it is hard to forget cause you don't forget something like that. But it will take a long time to heal.
2006-10-28 15:22:56 · answer #3 · answered by Girlish 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its hard to forget things like that just need to try and keep it in the back of your mind.If you start thinking about that try looking at pictures of the two of you and think about happy times you have shared together.
2006-10-28 15:00:03 · answer #4 · answered by Mky 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not grown up yet, I'm just 17, but your story touches me, it sounds like you love him and my advice to you is to try harder to forget about that unfortunate incident and move on with your life, because it seems that he has spent the whole time trying to please you and i think it will be good for you to get rid of that memory so that your marriage will last. i hope everything turns out great.
2006-10-28 14:51:59 · answer #5 · answered by sexymanta 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u ask me i would say that . to feel free from the fast memories & stress u follow my indian tradition that is making of yagasana. this will definetly make u happy & helps u to forget the fast thing. makes u encouraging abt ur future. u try yogasanas at ur home & see the difference in ur life. this will definetly boost u. keep faith in it definetly it will show u its effect. keep trying this. this is a solution i can give u to ur question.
2006-10-28 14:53:01 · answer #6 · answered by maha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen carefully now what you should do.perhaps you ought to picture yourself giving vent to that anger and proceeding to divorcr him.do you picture that?now meditate on the idea that he is gone out of your life!if it feels peacefull then perhaps you ought to consider divorce.but if it feels so empty and sad then just say i forgive you and the anger will go away for good.in my culture when we forgive there is no turning back and its real.
2006-10-28 14:50:35 · answer #7 · answered by undecided young man 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT. I GUESS IT NEVER SEEMS TO GO AWAY.I DON'T CARE HOW MANY TIMES IVE TRIED TO FORGET I CANT. I WOULD SUGGEST THAT THE TWO SIT DOWN AND TALK AND IF THAT DOESN'T WORK SIT DOWN WITH A COUNSELOR
2006-10-28 14:51:34 · answer #8 · answered by Kay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋