I keep flipping my opinions about being gay...does that mean I am not?

Question

One day I see a person I find attractive, I think I may be lesbian... then, other days, when I feel fine alone and confident being by myself, I feel I don't understand being lesbian... What is this all about? Am I or am I not?

Are gay people supposed to have this internal toil?

Answer 1

You may just be confussed or maybe even bi-sexual. Many women find other women attractive and tend to think they are a lesbian. I think you just have to find it in yourself to be true and honest with yourself. You may find women attractive but men even more sexually attractive to you. Or Vice Versa! There is nothing wrong with exploring your sexuality. That is the only way you will figure out what's right for you. I find myself sexually attracted to women everyday, but I am also married love my husband to pieces. I dont think of myself as being a lesbian. You just need to do some thinking before you try to find a deep hearted relationship, you may find that you can have the same feelings with both sexes. Try going in some chat rooms with gays and lesbians and chatting with them to see where their true feelings are and it might help.

I Hope you find your true self, you deserve it!!

Answer 2

I think that makes you normal or what the gay and lesbian community considers "questioning". This is completely normal. I think a lot of people (even those that swear they are not gay) go through this. Even people who KNOW they are gay and have been for many years, have probably either went through this at some point or maybe even still do. I am a transsexual, but for many years just assumed I was a "butch lesbian". If I had been content with that label (which by the way was given TO me, not one I claimed for myself) then I would not be a transsexual today. People question their identities constantly. What it all boils down to though is how YOU identify and what identification you are content with. What everyone ELSE thinks is irrelevant. Make yourself happy, and do what you feel you need to do to achieve that. Like I said, I'm a transsexual, and there's STILL days where I feel I dont understand why I am, but I KNOW that I am one, and I know deep down, ultimately, that's what I know to be true for myself. You can't answer for anyone but yourself, and you shouldn't have to.

Answer 3

It doesn't mean you are gay or straight or bi. Everyone feels this way. What is important is the person for who they are. If you fall in love with someone of the same gender as you and want to be with them forever in a romantic relationship, that is what you are. If it happens to be a girl then yes, society will call you gay or a lesbian. If it happens to be a boy then society will call you straight. You need to be confident with who you are on the inside before you can feel confident about being with anyone else.

Answer 4

Let me ask, who was your first real crush on when you were little? Was it with a guy or a girl? Could be a person you know, or a person on TV. I think when your a child, your not confused by societies ideals. You only know what you naturally like and what you naturally don't without confusion because your not thinking, your acting. So who ever you had your first deep crushes on (and I don't mean Adoring someone, I mean WANTING someone), that is what your attracted to.

Forget all the misinformed jargon about peoples sexualities change through time. Thats when people make choices on what they like rather than being with those they naturally desire.

You might be bisexual.

Answer 5

Especially being a women, women have a very huge problem controling their emotions. The cause of this is their monthly mensturations. Biogically it disturb the entire body that include your mind. Some will realise that their breast expands during that time. When their time is over it went back to normal size. MOST women will get emotional disturbance. When they happy they get so happy they will laugh like nobody's business and when they are sad they will be ultra sad so depressed she blame everybody. Man who understand this will try very much not to make his lady angry during that period of time or else he will be in hot soup.

Thats the reason more lesbian then GAYS as man have better control of their emotions. No doubt man too have emotional disturbance but not as strong as women get triggered monthly by your period. Because of this emotional disturbance in your case is looking at other women and that excites you. The way to prevent this is not to think that she's hot and prevent your mind to be arouse by that thoughts. Keep in mind its wrong to think that way. And leave the place to somewhere else. Its not you but its your body that causing it. If you are christians then open up you bible or do something else like cooking or anything that will make you forget about your temperory weird thoughts

I hope this will give some light to many women.

Answer 6

Best thing to do is experiment as much as you can even away from home. Like holidays abroad. Then make up your mind after trying both a number of times.

Answer 7

if your gay you chose to be that way, many people think that people of the same sex are attractive, but they don't want to have sex with them. They are not gay.

Answer 8

I think what your feeling is normal...just the ebb and flow of hormones (no I'm not being sarcastic here)....sometimes you feel more like sex --other times not so much.

Answer 9

Your normal...everyone has those feeling once in a while. Even if they don't want to admit it. Your just growing up

Answer 10

Maybe your bi. You like it both ways. It does happen.