what can i do to make my best friend see?

Question

we've been friends 12 years now and to cut a long story short i helped her to get away from her violent and abusive parents and she came live with me for a year.i helped her get her life on track,found her job where she met her boyfriend,she's been with 2 years now but as soon as she started seeing him , i was pushed aside,she never calls me,we never go out or see each other and when i do ask her to come out shes like" i wanna spent time with ant " but she lives with him,she sees him everyday,he always telling her he dont like her going out or spending to much time away from him,he's deleted msg'd ive left her and dont told her,he's blown up a passport pic of her and stuck it all over the bedroom wall,he's obsessed and i just think to myself i helped her out so much and for her to just push me aside for him,i mean i didnt do it to get something in return but if it wasnt for me,she would never of met him anyways,i dont wanna argue with her,i just wanna spend more time with her

i have a man and have done for the last 6 years and ive never dropped her to spend time with my man,i knew her first and even though i love my man to bits,she's very important to me,we've been thru alot and i would never push her aside for him.

Answer 1

Regrettably love is blind. Really all you can do is wait for her to see the light. don't push, just be ready to catch her again when she need's it. Be there for HER.

Answer 2

You my dear have to sit back and relax. I think whats happening is that she is confused in her definition of love but then again look where she was coming from as far as abuse in the household. Maybe she feels she love this guy and wants to do everything to try and keep him. I'm sure this is her first real relationship since getting out of her abusive house. She will come around once things start to fall apart with her current guy and when they do just be there for her as you always have. Don't give up on the friendship. However when she does come around just state your piece and let her know that you were hurt by her making you feel she abandoned you. And move on. Good Luck to you.

Answer 3

Be upfront with her, try and get her on her own and have a chat, tell her you realise she's in a relationship so doesn't have as much time for you, but that you'd like to spend a little time with her now and again, try and work something out. Don't diss her boyfriend - he sounds nuts, but she will just not listen to you - you have to stand back and let her see in her own time. Assure her you'll always be there for her, you sound like a good friend. But I think you need to find another pal that you can do stuff with instead. When people meet someone, they do tend to drop their friends a wee bit - it just happens, so you need to get some other friends you can hang out with.

Answer 4

you know i understand where you are coming from i am a sophmoer in high school and ive had lots of best freinds which i lost over boys but now i made a new one we have been best friends for two years and sometimes i feel like im losing her to a boy but she says not but it is really hard and we argue alot because of this but just sit down and tell her how you feel and if that dont help just give her some space

Answer 5

She is in another abusive situation here , the fact her partner is obsessive and controlling is abuse . People who have been in these situations find it really hard to be free , it really is a vicious circle . Your problem here isn`t with your friend but with the dumbass partner who seems to be insecure . I don`t think there is alot you can do until (hopefully) their relationship ends , if you interfere that will cause more damage . Just try to let her know you are still there if and when she needs a friend ..Good luck x

Answer 6

you should be up front and straight with her and tell her how you feel but dont be too strong about otherwise she might push you outa her life all together
also you have got to respect her decisions in life and has got to learn her own mistakes she will not have as much time for you now shes in a relationship but that doesn't mean you cant go out and have fun also have you gotten to know the guys shes dating you might feel that hes taking away your best friend go around and get to know the guy you might like him as for deleting your messages i dont know what to do about that he might just be overprotctive of her you should be happy for her happiness
if shes as good a friend to you as you are to her she will understand how you feel.

Answer 7

You shouldn't be telling us this, tell your friend. Tell her you're concerned that he is obsessive and it could turn out badly if she doesn't open her eyes. If you have been best friends for twelve years you should know what kind of words she will react to in a negative way, so steer clear from those words. Make sure that she understands you aren't trying to take her for yourself, but you still love her and want to spend time with her. :]

Answer 8

it seems like you have been great to her over the years. im not in your situation although give this a try. Leave her. She will see the light, every 2 months give her a ring/(text so her boyfriend dosent see) but aside from that leave her. She will see the light eventually so dont worry.

Answer 9

I would just get on with your life for now, find other ways to fill the time you used to spend together and respect your friend's right to make choices and mistakes. Let her know you are always there for her. Friendships do change over time.

Answer 10

now mayb u cud do something as a 4some all go 4 a meal or to cinemas shes spending tym wi her man an u, if tht dunt work, tell her how u feel if she a tru m8 she'll understand

Answer 11

the way i see it is that if u do all that for someone and they are ready to drop u without a second thought then they were never your friend in the first place