How do you go about this?

Question

I suspected my husband of cheating, and part of finding
my peace of mind involved going through my husband's wallet. In a
fit of desperation I started to rummage through his pockets when he
was out of the house, and looked through his wallet for old
receipts or anything that would point towards proof of his affair.
While doing this, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and
to be honest, I was a little bit horrified. What has happened to me
and my marriage that I am one of "those" wives who resorts invading
their husband's privacy? I felt really guilty, but at the same time
I want to know the truth.

Answer 1

Honey I been threw this myself a few years ago. It doesn't work and you drive yourself nuts. If you can hire someone to follow him, take pictures for proof.-then if it's true. You have to decide-do you want to stay with him? Divorce him?
I have a saying it's not for everyone one, but "Once you get the taste of candy, you can't put it down". In other words, if he admits it, then you will see if he does it again. And it could happen again.
Men and Women cheat because they are not happy or something is wrong in the marriage. Would he go for marriage couseling? On the other hand, find out where he goes and find out who she is? I would have a talk with her and see if she is married? It's up to you on how far you want to go with this.

Answer 2

Well..I don't know what to tell you but only you know what really needs to be done. You can always ask your husband if he's cheating or ever been unfaithful..But you stand the chance of him denying it or he may be honest.
With that said..We as women can sometimes pick up on these things, sometimes. However, being married you should be able to trust your spouse, regardless of the situation. AND if you feel he's not being true, faithful to the marriage you have every right to know. After all..we are talking about your health, your life, your peace of mind, etc.
Yea, it may look bad, and it may seem that you are a snooping wife. You can either do three things here.
1.You can let it go until you actually have solid proof, like it's staring you in the face as if it just slapped you.
2. Continue to find out what your husband is doing
3. Last but not least, talk to your husband and let him know what you are feeling. Perhaps he's just busy with work and have a lot on his mind.
Whatever the outcome is or whatever you decide you have the right to know if your husband is cheating. We are not only talking about his life but yours too. Honestly, I wouldn't feel bad about looking through his wallet, especially if my husband has given me a reason to. Don't feel bad, and don't put the blinders on. Don't be in such denial to the point all the evidence is in your face and you still refuse to see the truth b.c you think what you doing is wrong. It's not. AND if your husband is cheating then he's wrong and he should be the one feeling guilty not you.
Again..this is your life too.
What is your husband doing to make you feel he's cheating? I wish you the best!

Answer 3

I have been then there. I finally broke down one day and told my husband what I had been doing and why. I would look through his phone and look for any number I didn't know and call it, just to make sure. I would go through his wallet, I would spend hours going through the computer. I am much better now and I think it was because I was open with him and told him what I was doing. I didn't stop over night, but with time I have gotten much better. You just have to get in that state of mind, that you love him, and you hope his love for you is the same. And there is nothing you can do if he decides to cheat. Looking through his wallet is not going to stop someone from cheating on you. I just tell my self , if he cheated on me he would be losing so much more than he would be gaining. Learning to trust is hard, but you have to be honest with him and yourself. good luck, and god bless

Answer 4

To be brutally honest, a woman's intuition is hardly ever wrong. It seems as there is very little trust. You should ask yourself what makes you suspect him. Are there any real signs or is it all in your head. Take a long, hard, HONEST look at your relationship. Once you have, sit him down and talk. He may not be doing anything and has no idea that you are feeling this way. One more question, could your suspicions be from your own insecurities? Just a thought.

Answer 5

You reached the point of desperation when you started rummaging through his stuff. It was wrong, and you are ashamed and horrified that you did it.
Forgive yourself for a very weak moment. You don't need to tell him what you did....just cut yourself some slack and tell yourself that you won't do it again.

What makes you suspicious of an affair?

Answer 6

look at yourself in the mirror again...i hope next time you see a woman who simply wants to know the truth!! yu have turned into a suspicious woman..whos fault is that? who you think he's cheating theres gotta be a reason why...right? if you continue to search & find nothing..good, thats just great!! but if you dont look you may never find what might be right under your nose...just make sure you dont get caught

Answer 7

DID HE GIVE YOU ANY REASON TO MAKE YOU BELIEVE HE IS CHEATING?INNOCENT TILL PROVEN GUILTY BUT DON'T GO SNOOPING AROUND THAT WILL ONLY DRIVE YOU CRAZY AND A WAIST OF TIME. IF HE IS SOONER OR LATER THE TRUTH WILL COME OUT.WHY DONT YOU TALK WITH HIM. HE IS YOUR HUSBAND. IF YOU ARE JUST SO CURIOUS, HAVE SOMEONE DO THE WORK FOR YOU LIKE A DETECTIVE.

Answer 8

It doesn't sound like you gave yourself any peace of mind by doing that. Have you tried asking him outright? Husbands who are faithful have nothing to hide.

Answer 9

If his privacy means he's doing you wrong, you have a right to know. If he is not up to anything, then he shouldn't mind your concern.

Answer 10

I guess my first question is WHY do you suspect him? Has he given you reason for your doubts? OR are you simply being paranoid and insecure???