can someone pl explain to me why do teenagers feel people don understand 'em ?

Question

well, I m a teenager myself(in my mid-teens)! I too feel people don understand me!!
Why?? its like so many new n strange things happenin all of a suddden!! People treat u like "grown-ups" or "kiddos" as n when they please!!! Why? Pl help!! Its like ur stuck-up somewer in the middle! ur neither a kid nor a so-called adult!! Why???????

Answer 1

Partly it's hormones...hormones are the source of emotions and during adolescence the body is adjusting and changing and the hormone levels will bounce from 50% of normal to 500% of normal...this is a cause of sudden rages and incomprehensible crying spells...the person is not trained or prepared to deal with the emotions that the hormonal spikes cause.

A second reason for the way others treat a teen is that they are not adults...they seem to act adult at times and suddenly they will behave in a childlike manner. Others see this and it's always a balancing act. Adults are trying to nurture and teach what is acceptable as adult behavior which is very difficult cause you can't look at a teen and always tell what's going on inside, so you tend to react to their most recent behavior. If it was childish, you speak to them as if they were a small child...if they've been behaving maturely, you start to speak to them as an adult... it's sort of a reinforcement technique...and many, many adults do this instinctively, they aren't even conscious of doing it... it's not like some big conspiracy, it's a natural reaction.

A third factor is that teens are often testing boundaries, to see how far is too far. And when they go too far and receive negative feedback by parents or others, they have difficulty handling it maturely (hormone levels don't help either) because they haven't learned yet the adult trait of acceptance and not taking a negative objectively. To a teen, usually, everything is subjective (self-centered and egotistic...it's all about me). Eventually, over a few years hopefully, they learn how to give and take with equanimity (The quality of being calm and even-tempered; composed)

Answer 2

I am an old dude, obviously, so go figure...but I do NOT understand teenagers. They are unpredictable, always pushing the rules, always rejecting age-old standards. But it was the same when I was a teen. Teen means "BEtween" being an adult and a child. It's a bad scene. I used to hold adults in some kind of awe, thinking they understood life better than me...and was disappointed to learn that wasn't necessarily true. They screwed up as much as I did, and were rotten examples. So what could I look forward to in becoming an adult? Not much. The thing is, you're as smart as I am, and you know stuff I don't. Adults talk down to you because they don't know who you are inside...it's been that way for the last 10,000 years and it's not going to change. But you don't understand yourselves either...or each other, but you think adults should? You're still experimenting with who you are, what's right and wrong, what you want to be...WHO you want to be. ( Some people never figure that out, even after they're old.) So relax. You'll be one of us soon, doing the same thing we do...shakin' your head, wonderin' what the world is coming to. And teens will be looking at you, wondering where you're coming from.

Answer 3

You seem like an intelligent person. Most likely the reason you are having such issues with this. I mean no offense to you by this, just answering the question based on my limited knowledge. Fact of the matter is teenagers generally don't make sense. That's why adults don't understand them. When all of us adults giving you answers were teenagers, we were not understood either. That's just the way it is. I can tell you from personal experience, the more you grow and mature, the more adults will understand you and you them. Do yourself a favor and try not to grow up too soon. Enjoy adolescence while you can. Growing up is not always fun. With it comes a lot of responsibility.

Remebering back to the stone-age when I was a teen, I remember my hormones messing with me. I remember getting more freedoms, and having them taken away when I did something stupid (happened quite often). I also remember that what I thought and how I felt was rarely understood, just as you are feeling right now. I remember being very angry about that, but when I look back on it in deal with my own teenage child, It all comes back to me. And unfortunately, the reasons I was not understood came all too clear to me when I started being a parent to a teenager. Parents have a tough job. Their job is not to be your friend or even understand you. Their job is to protect you from the world as well as yourself. Hopefully in the end raising a moral, thoughtful, upstanding, contributing member of society.

And lastly, at the risk of sounding like a parent. (easy to do since I am one.) It's cool to use chat language when talking to your friends, but its kind of difficult for us "old" people to understand chat language. When you are asking thoughtful open questions, please spell out the words, so us "old" people can read it easier. Again, no offense. Your question makes you sound very thoughtful, sensitive and mature. The chat language kind of takes away from that.

Good Luck.

Answer 4

Stay cool. This is a normal process of growing up. Being neither child nor adult. Being aware of it , is the first step to understanding why. Parents do understand you, only they know that you have to be guided because at this age, you will be experiencing new things and be exposed to new ideas which may confuse you. (They went through this stage too, ? right?) So just relax and try understanding them too. People notice what you do because they usually care for you. If they don't why would they give you any notice. So look at it from the positive side. People care , that is why they "scold" you . notice what you do, say something about it. Don't worry , this phase will pass when you get to be older. so enjoy the ride while it lasts and be more positive about it.

Answer 5

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Answer 6

I have found that when teenagers, just as with adults, say people don't understand them there are two things happening... you are wanting for someone to AGREE with you on some terms or you are having a really tough time understanding YOURSELF... both are truly okay and natural. The way I as an adult will treat a teenager is in accordance to how they present themselves to me... there are times you may still want to have the "privilege" or "exception" of not being able to do something because you are still a kid... then there are times you want to hold accountability as a young adult... you are fortunate at your age to hold that right. Enjoy your youth now before you reach the age of "no return"... you are forever and ever the adult and will always expected to behave as one.

You, my young friend, are at that wonderful challenging age between childhood full of freedom and adulthood full of responsibilities.

Answer 7

well its all been said before. I'm a teen myself and blah blah blah chemicals etc etc. Well older people always have to play the part of the guider never saying if they were in that situation. When we do tell them things we often leave out details that help shape the matter. It's a lonely thing never finding someone to understand. But you after to see things from all point of views fo those that matter. It's the transition stage where were suppose to be kinda like adults. Things happen fast and you've got to find your peace at mind. A book called "Siddhartha" helped me think.

-wranderer

Answer 8

Thats true. People actully do not understand them. But the phenomena should not bother you it will be well with time.Im studying the matter these days as a subject.And the same thing bothered me too.actually teenage, or adolescence is clled a problem ag enot by me, by phsychologists .adolescents may feel lonely, unfit and even bad! .But actually they arent bad.The reason is that they get a newer and stranger role in life that they slowly and gradually learn to play.Thing will becom clearer in 17th year that is 'the late adolescence'.Cheer up nothing is wrong.

Answer 9

You are in the middle. Your parents are pressuring you to be responsible. And your friends pressure you to be cool, sometimes in a bad way. I wasn't to fond of my teenage years. I was a very depressed individual. I had to find a hobby to help me thru some of the really tough times. I chose poetry. I would write poems to express my frustration. You are not alone. Every adult has experienced what you are experiencing and younger children will experience it as well. Just hang in there. It doesn't last forever.

Answer 10

Simple. Teenagers do not understand people who have already
undergone teenage stage.People be it parents/other elders
want to explain their experience but teenagers have no patience
to listen.Rember BEATEN PATH is more easy to walk when
you start walking on the hard route of journey of life. If you pay heed you can behave with the experience of grownups and
innoncence of kiddos.