please help me , i am 40 my wife is 30 we have been together 14 years, we have 2 lovely children and i love her more than words can say. we both work full time but my wife says she loves me as a person but is not in love with me. yes we have taken each other for granted, me especially. she has now said that we move into seperate bedrooms and live as friends for the childrens sake, this will happen tonight, i love her so much but i cant seem to do anything right, she does not have another man i am sure of that. i am in pieces PLEASE HELP. oh i dont have or want another woman....
2006-10-28 04:33:04 · 39 answers · asked by tractortribe@btinternet.com 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You PRAY my friend! Prayer is VERY Powerful!
Find a Christian church close to you and ask for prayer. Talk to the Pastor. You see satan wants to destroy you and your family. Satan is the father of all lies.
I was attacked a few yrs. back w/ my marriage. Anything little thing that didn't go my way, there was satan whispering "see, you need to divorce" or "see you should just be friends" or "he's not your type of husband" or "you don't have sexual desires for him"
Luckily a friend told me, "hey" "what are you doing and thinking" "do not allow this...it's not from God"
I said "I will not allow satan to destroy my marriage" I prayed. You need to be in a group of believers. The prayers of believers avail much.
Get "Power of a praying husband" by Stormie Omarian. I read the wife one...Very good. You need Faith my friend and all will be fine. Your life will never be the same once you accept Jesus in your heart. My life changed all for the better. I'm living testimony. Your wife will come around. Let God do His work. You will be praising Him in no time. Just don't panic. Go talk to a pastor.
Jer 29:11-13 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. 12 Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 13 And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.
Phil 4:6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;
Christ's Blessings to you and your family!
I pray Jesus directs you on the right path.
2006-10-28 04:51:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes when we have been together for so long our working/family lives do tend to take over our personal lives. If you and your wife are both working and you have children to look after I don't suppose you have much time for yourselves as a couple. We do tend to start taking each other for granted even though it's not intentional. I suggest that you and your wife try and sit and talk more about what you want for yourselves,not the kids or the house. Take a break together without the kids, make a day that is just for the two of you. Moving into the spare room is not a good sign in a marriage. If your wife says she is not in love with you anymore but she still loves you,perhaps there is still time for you to woo her back. Try being the man she fell in love with and married again. Good luck. hope it works out.
2006-10-28 04:50:52 · answer #2 · answered by Pocket Battleship 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry I don't really have an answer to this but I'll try you guys got married really young especially your wife,,,my husband and I have been married 12 years and have been together for almost 15,,I didn't really have the chance or oppurtunity to go out and have the fun that all the other people my age were having I didn't really miss it then but now I do.Maybe you guys could get a sitter 1 night a week and go out and do something fun just the 2 of you.You may also want to try counseling and just trying to talk things out with each other without argueing and getting mad or blaming one another for the problems you 2 are having.I know that you have probably already thought of all of this on your own but it's all that I could think of,,,good luck I hope that 2 can make it work....
2006-10-28 05:04:49 · answer #3 · answered by curious_girl_2_play 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be friends. That's the hardest thing in the world when you love someone and they aren't loving you back in the same way. It sounds like you both lost the friendship that built your relationship and the only way you will ever be anything more again is to find the friendship again. Do stuff together. Have fun together without the kids. Make her feel important to you. After that is going well for awhile start to try and woo her, start doing more than just hanging out, start to date her again. Show her that she can fall in love with you again. Who knows you may start to love her in a different light too. Instead of seeing this as a crisis look at is as a chance to never ever take what you have for granted again, a chance to see how much it was worth. The most important thing is to take your time and follow her cues. It took 14 yrs to get to this point and it will take time to fix it. Don't ever give up. Be there for her and respect her. Don't forget this is hard for her too.
2006-10-28 04:55:04 · answer #4 · answered by theresacra 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just as a matter of interest have you told her all this, if she really wants this then you should let her have the space that she wants but you need to tell her what you are feeling before it goes to far.
if her feelings have changed then their is not much you can do. try talking to her ans see what hapend. If the two of you decide to try again then start slow and do it all like you did the first time around, if it comes that the two of you dont sort it out then try keeping the friendship for the kids sake but living under the same roof when you feel like this and she doesnt that will only lead to heartace and the kids will be the ones that will be the most affected. sit down and really think about what the two of ye want and take it from there
2006-10-28 07:57:21 · answer #5 · answered by vexon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you love her too much and respect yourself too little. Why not just be a man and say; 'BOLLOCKS either we live together properly as man & wife, or we split up' ?
And don't give me this crap about ''the sake of the children''. Do you really think they will develop properly in a home with a cold atmosphere like the one you are ALLOWING your wife to create. The kids will not respect you if you let your woman push you around. Tell he straight; ''I'm the geezer, your the bird, if you don't want me in your bed I'll find someone who does. Now put the kettle on, and make a decision by the time the tea's drunk''
2006-10-28 04:45:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
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2016-02-11 20:57:11 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds to me like your mrs has made a decision and intends to stick to it ... staying together for the kids isnt the right thing to do ... both u and the kids will not really have closure on this if u dont move out and move on with your life ... there will always be that hope that u will sort things out while u live at home ... it will prob be nice to hav some independance again ... make sure u dont start getting depressed about this ... seek counceling
accept it - deal with it - move on these are the most important 7 words u will ever use ... follow this and u will never go wrong
2006-10-28 07:43:38 · answer #8 · answered by tweetybird 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i really do feel for u. i went through similar in my marriage of 20 yrs... u need time for u n ur wife to go away for a break together without the children..... a long weekend somewhere romantic and not too noisey where u can talk, walk, eat out, no complications..... make it fun... but dont do this once and then stop. its something u both need on a reasonably regular basis to look forward to. it worked for me and my ex hubby until he was working away from home for a very long time once and ended up having an affair... brief tho it was... i couldnt trust him again..
but since that isnt in ur equation u really need to try. move into the other room if u feel it will help for a short while but i believe a break will do u both good ... away from all the usual hassles in ur lives... like being dated/wined n dined/treated nicely... all over again.
show her just how romantic u can be and how much u really do love her....... hopefully she will show u too....
good luck. i really hope it works out for u. xxx
2006-10-28 05:12:25 · answer #9 · answered by Cubangirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best advice you can ever get from another woman. Abide by her wishes. If she wants to sleep in separate bedrooms then by all means do it. Be happy she hasn't packed her stuff (or yours).
Next step - court your wife again. Remember when you were first dating? Bring her some flowers, ask her to dinner and a movie and then come home and go to separate bedrooms.
You have to give her time - and you have to woo her again. Also ask for marital counseling - while still in separate bedrooms. She needs to trust you again that you won't take her for granted. Being taken for granted will kill the spirit in a woman faster than you can say divorce.
2006-10-28 04:48:42 · answer #10 · answered by Stella Bing 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋