My daughter is ten, should I let her shave her legs?

Question

My eldest daughter is ten and wants to start shaving her legs, my wife says no, but I am unsure. My argument is that her hair on her legs is quite dark and now that she is going swimming with the school I am worried about bullying. My wife thinks that she is still too young and that once she starts shaving she'll be doing it forever. My daughter wants to shave her legs as it will make her feel/appear more geown up. What do you think?

Hot Pants, I've not got a problem with my daughters hair, what I have got a problem with is the probability of her getting bullied at school, (It is her that is self-conscious, not me).

Answer 1

i have read other peoples views. im not impressed by them. i totally understand you... im 22 now, i have dark hair, not good when it comes to leg hair, i remember being young, your daughters age, hated the hair factor, espacially bhen it comes to p.e and stuff, still have a major complex with it. i have a daughter who is 2 so i will be going through this no doubt. i dont see it as a problem.
but please use veet hair removal cream, her hair will be that fine it will work lovely. no irritation, longer lasting results as she hasnt shaved b4 and, her legs will be really soft. just b there with her teach her the right way otherwise she will do it anyway and you wont know about it. support her. x

its cool

Answer 2

I had exactly the same problem. When I was about nine, a friend of mine commented on how hairy my legs were compared to hers. It didn't really bother me because the hair was very fine and few and far between at that age.

When I did start shaving my legs, (at about the same age) I started with an electric razor, which has absolutely no chance of cutting your legs to shreds, so this is what I'd suggest if your daughter is really self-conscious about this. I would definitely not suggest wax, hair removing or bleaching creams at this stage because the skin is still really sensitive, and such products are very hard to use; in the case of hair removing creams you have to leave the cream on for a specific time, and no longer, otherwise it could cause chemical burns to the skin, red and sore at best, agonising and scarring at worst.

When your daughter has gained confidence with an electric razor, she could try wet shavers, which give a much smoother, closer shave, and certainly would give her more confidence. Her mum could give her tips on how to shave without cutting (e.g. always using shaving foam or gel, not pressing too hard, changing the blade when the razor feels blunt and dull), and although she will cut herself the first few times (I did!) she will gradually learn the right method of shaving without cutting herself. Also, wet razors available these days are much safer than the ones available ten years ago, so there is much less chance of her cutting herself.

Also let me point out that is is a complete and utter myth that if shaved, hair grows back thicker and stronger. It only appears thicker as the hair was cut off straight, and will grow back with a straight tip, and thus appear thick; the hair doesn't actually change at all. Using wax and hair removal cream gives a longer-lasting hairlessness (2-4 weeks for creams; 4-6 weeks with wax) and the grow-back will be tapered instead of thick and stubbly, thus less noticible. Wax, if used regularly, will eventually inhibit some of the hair growth, as the hair is pulled out by the root, and some hairs don't grow back.

But at this stage, if your daughter is adamant she wants to shave, she should use an electric razor. :)

Answer 3

It's nobody's business but your daughter's. Yes, it would be nice if we could all just be happy with what we look like and ignore everyone else, but that's not how it is. I have blonde hair on my legs and I didn't start shaving until I was 12 but I was one of the last people to start, and it was embarrassing. It sounds like your wife has an irrational worry--"If she starts shaving now, next thing we know, she'll be pregnant!" It's how some mothers are, but that doesn't mean that it's right. Your sympathy and genuine concern for your daughter is rare and admirable, especially since many fathers don't acknowledge the impact of social issues. Keep fighting alongside your daughter...it will only make her respect you MORE as she gets older and then when you do set boundaries, she'll honestly know that you have her best interests in mind rather than trying to keep her from growing up at all.

Answer 4

Well why don't you find a middle ground, the other children will notice if she is shy about it, kid's are like that.

Why not ask your wife if she can use immac, or a hair removal cream under adult supervision before the day that she goes swimming, that way she can get rid of the hairs with out razor burn etc.

She is at an age where she is starting to find herself, it is important she feels good, and remind your wife that yes ten is to young, but when your ten you don't think that way, you start to feel grown up.

There are also moisturisers that can be put on the skin to reduce hair growth.

Go do some research and tell your wife you want to your daughter to feel like she is growing up, and then your daughter won't develop any "body hang ups" if she can talk to you and learn to deal with all the new things that a body goes through when growing.

Answer 5

Try and discuss it with your wife when your daughter isn't around - please don't make a big family issue out of it.

While 10 may be young to start shaving, chances are she'll be hitting puberty soon and things will only get worse.

Teasing, bullying and name-calling at school is a horrible thing and can ruin a child's self-confidence, especially if they see themselves as somehow different from all their friends. (Not saying they should bow to peer pressure, but the need to fit in is so important at that age, and this is something that other kids pick up on.)

Personally, I think that if she's self-conscious about it, then let her shave. No matter what age she starts shaving, chances are she'll be doing it for the rest of her life, and if it makes the tough school and teenage years any easier for her, I say let her. Take that one piece of ammunition away from the other kids before they have a chance to use it against her.

Answer 6

10 is a bit young. I'm 14 and I first shaved my legs at 12, which I regret. Once you start to shave (obviously) the hair gets coarser and thicker. If she wants to shave her legs only to feel more grown up, then that's not for the right reasons. If the hair is black or dark brown, that's the ONLY reason she should be removing it. Get her some leg wax strips. It hurts a bit but it's the best way, you only need to do it once or twice every two months and the hair grows back lighter and finer, not darker.

Good luck...

Answer 7

My daughter is 11 and we have had this discussion many times. I am making her wait until she is 12/13.

I remember being her age and the pressure of the hair on the legs and yes boys do say things.

However we must teach our daughters to believe in themselves and not worry what others think...We are the most important and what we think is a lot more important.

Shaving and seeing little girls legs, with big cuts because they were distracted or the razor was just to sharp isn't worth it.
It is a life long chore that we have been blessed with. Ha.

Wondering does the hair bother you more than her?
My husband commented the same thing with our daughter.

Good luck and best wishes

Answer 8

What's with adults these days?
Ten is NOT too young, especially if her hair is very dark.
I mean, come on, it's not a drug, it's just shaving. You don't get addicted to it, you don't overdo it, you can't get sick and die from it, all it is is wanting to be clean and have a good appearance. There is nothing wrong with that. How are you ever too young to shave? Now, if she were under eight years old, I'd understand, but ten? That's when I started to shave, and my hair on my legs are really dark. Just let her! She'll feel great about herself and her appearance. Don't make your daughter suffer.
Besides, waiting until twelve or thirteen is too old, if you ask me.

Answer 9

A very tricky one this, I am hairy and started shaving at a young age and yes, your wife is right, I feel I have been doing it forever!
However, you have a point in her being teased as I was!
She is too young to shave but not to young to feel self-conscious of the fact she has hairy legs! My sister had the same problem with her daughter, so took her waxing at the age of 12, this will make hair lighter and weaker the older she gets, more painful but more effective in the long run to shaving!
I do sympathise with your daughter but can see your wife's point of view.
Talk to your daughter and suggest an alternative, like leaving it for a year or two and then decide if waxing is best for her.

Answer 10

I think it is hard to be steadfast about an age that a child can do something, especially if it has to do with his or her physical appearance. Kids at that age are so self-conscious about their looks and other kids can be so mean. I think as parents, we all have an ideal age we want our kids to wait until to do certain things. But their life and their growth doesn't always go according to our plan. If your daughter started developing breasts, would your wife make her wait to wear a bra? If you had a son who started getting facial hair, would you forbid him from shaving? Some girls nowadays are even getting their period at 10. I struggle with my own daughters growing up to fast, but their are other places to put limits rather than on whether a child has dark hairy legs that will get her teased in gym class.

My mom started me with an electric razor as it was less likely for me to cut myself. I believe I got it for my 12th birthday. But age is relative. I think if I had started getting hairier earlier, my parents would have let me shave earlier. I hope your wife comes around. Sure your daughter will have to shave her legs for the rest of her life, but 10 years down the road I don't think any young woman is going to say I wish I waited until I was 12 instead of 10 to shave my legs.