this is going to sound awful but i am insanely jealous of my husband.?

Question

he is better at every single thing we try together than i am. in fact, we just ended a little "friendly competition" between us and i lost. i laughed it off while he was here, but as soon as he left for work i cried. why does this bother me so much? if i tell him about it he'll either feel sorry for me and try to do worse at things or think i'm crazy. he is smarter, stronger, makes more money, is more responsible, sings better, and plays the guitar better than i play the piano. i know i must sound pathetic, but i don't know what to do about this. any suggestions? or better yet-has anyone else out there ever felt the same way?

Answer 1

I'm sure there are many things you do as well or better than he does. However, marriage is a partenrship, not a competition so don't take part in anymore of them. Don't ever consider yourself "inferior" just because others can do something better than you can.

As far as understanding this whole thing, you should start with asking who is usually the one to start the competition and why ?

Answer 2

Well to start with it is never a good idea for a woman to get into competition with a man. Especially if it involves anything physical.
He may be worse at something but is stronger and that will often make the difference.

Now for a husband and wife to be in competition is asking for disaster. There will always be things he can do better than you and other things you can do better than him. But to actually try to compete against each other is never a good idea.

You should be friends and lovers not best buddies. He is always going to try that much harder to beat you because men can't stand the idea of being beat by a woman. Just messes with their manhood.

Now if you play at this and have fun with it neither should have a problem with loosing. After all this is you best friend right. It's only in fun right?

If you can't say yest to those two questions you really do have a problem and it will end your relationship somewhere down the road.

It is clear there is no "friendly competition" going on here. It is great to have fun together but not if it hurts your feelings.

No doubt, because you laugh it off, he thinks you are fine with this and is just having fun. Tell him how you feel and stop competing.
Be happy that he is good at all those things and start looking for things you are good at.

He is always going to be stronger. I doubt he is smarter than you and it is up to you whether he always makes more money than you. But do you care. The money he makes is yours too. Your married. You can learn to be more responsible and the only way you get to be good on that piano is with practice.

So tell him how you feel and quit competing.

Answer 3

You forget one important factor...

Out of all the women in the world he married you... ^_^ Now that may not seem like much but it does mean that you compliment each other.

Stop thinking competition and start thinking synergy. Your example of piano and guitar are but an example of synergy, not competition.

Always strive to be better than yourself but never strive to be better than another... especially your husband! :c)

It is not a recipe for a happy marriage. Why don't you talk it over with him? There is no need to put a fine point on you developing inferiority complex... but you can let him know that you feel bad that you don't feel able to compete.

Actually... the best way to avoid competition is to focus on tangent areas. ^_^ Piano and guitar are one example of such (and are not meant to compete - would you feel bad about losing a race between a bycicle and a car?). Find more! Take up and art or a craft...

Answer 4

You need to realize that your husband is not your competition. While it might be fun to compete once in a while, you are married to each other for what you see inside one another.

You also have a lot in common with each other and that is a great thing. You chose him because he likes to do the things that you do. Rather than competing with him, learn from him. You will eventually understand how he learned to do things and replicate that in your own endeavors.

Enjoy his abilities. Maybe he makes more than you, but so what. The money goes into the same bank account. Maybe he plays guitar really well, but that does not mean that you do not play piano well.

My wife is an excellent cook, but when I make meals she always says that I cook better than her. It is not true, but it is her perception. You love him and see everything he does as better than it may actually be.

Take care,
Troy

Answer 5

First of all- your question doesn't sound pathetic at all, at least for me. Still, I got a question for you: what do you mean by saying he plays the guitar better than you ply the piano? Personally I strongly believe this two musical instruments are quite different. Don't compare always what you do with what your husband is doing....
It seems to me you married with an extraordinary man which has a lot qualities, but also you have them to. Yes he makes mo money but, we all are different in many ways. Don't continuing believe that he is greater than you, but trying to actually be more aware of your qualities to. And, this guy chose you to be his wife. Does this doesn't mean anything to you. There certainly is a deep reason why he had done that, don't you think?

Answer 6

All I can say is practice with people that are about your level. Practice anything. Don't be discouraged because he's better than you at certain things. I'm sure you're good at something. Everyone is! And the only thing you can do is practice to get better at things that you love. Don't compare yourself to other people. It only discourages you. I've been in the same situation before, so this is coming from someone who knows what it's like to feel inferior. I hope everything works out for you!

Answer 7

I have never felt that way, but why not try this. See the two of you as a team and play or compete against others, then you will share in the joy of him being so fantastic instead of having to cry over it. Be thankful you have a seemingly wonderful husband, those seem to be few and far between now of days.

Answer 8

Sweetheart, you and I are in the same bucket. Here is what I do:
Do not compete but complete. So work at doing things TOGETHER. Money for example> Get the both of you to spend your money as one.
Try to see the world from a unified point of view. It "we", "Us", "ours" and make the rules so that they fit this new paradigm.
Find something that you can do and do it well. What ever that is.
Go back to school and learn something new.
And get your husband to be your friend. Tell him just how you feel about loosing but tell him to teach you how to win, please. Do this for me.
AND you do not sound awful. You sound real and you did the correct thing

Answer 9

I even have been cheated on and that i nevertheless have an exceedingly complicated time trusting my boyfriend. He knows and knows and that i comprehend why I do what I do. the main serious element you're able to do is make him conscious which you're no longer basically like the girls he dated formerly. tell him that it is affecting your courting and he needs to realize that he can have faith you. it is going to likely be complicated and he could on no account thoroughly recover from his previous reports yet he needs to be much less controlling and aggressive. That being pronounced you additionally can help him get nevertheless the adjustment returned right into a trusting courting. attempt to coach him he can have faith you thru exhibiting him the flaws you do. supply him the password on your myspace and enable him get on there and see for himself you're no longer untrue. additionally, attempt to take his emotions into careful attention once you're talking. If my boyfriend went on and on approximately how warm some skank became i may be dissatisfied too. the main serious element i will say is the two considered one of you had greater suitable have quite sturdy verbal exchange by way of fact with out it you will on no account get previous have faith themes. in case you are able to not talk with him evaluate counseling. sturdy good fortune

Answer 10

You should not live your life in competition with your husband. Some people are just good at everything they do. Does he brag about it when he is better? Does he tell you he is better? If he doesn't then don't worry about it. Live your life it's too short to spend always feeling like being in competition with someone.