Here is the deal in a nutshell. Been with woman for 5 years never married did not have sex for 4.5 years, supported her financially for last 2-3 years. Did not have sex because I didn't want it(cannot answer you or her on why just didn't,) I also never NEVER strayed from her either, just alot of self-satisfaction. She cheated on me I left her we got back together because she wouldn't leave and I was weak (possibly scared to be alone) When we got back together we had a weird combo makeup/anger sex for like 2 weeks (remember first sex in 4.5 yrs) and "we" got pregnant (unplanned). Did a common law marriage (for the benefits) she has none and my medical plan rocks. After that realised I made a mistake taking her back, meant someone and had/having an affair, love this woman very much feel like she is my soulmate. My son's mother is someone I love but have never felt that passion for. Any input,
2006-10-28 02:49:51 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
also let me mention "our" marriage was a piece of paper notarized and dropped off at my jobs human resources dept not even at the courthouse. no oath or anything just a simple statement.
2006-10-28 02:56:00 · update #1
Let me add yes we are married in my home state that is confirmed thru my lawyer and second anyone think this situation worth salvage (she wants us to go to couseling) and yes she knows of my infidelity and please no I am not gay and nobody tell me to stay for my son alone.
2006-10-28 03:15:30 · update #2
Please go to a Christian church and talk to the Pastor.
Pray my friend Pray! Prayer is very powerful.
But please go find a Christian pastor and talk. It is free. And I guarantee you, it is the best advice.
Do not make quick decisions with your new soulmate.
I pray the Lord directs you to do the right thing.
2006-10-28 03:06:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well you made not one but a few big mistakes... The first was taking her back... The second was having sex after you held for so long. Third was not using protection. And the fourth would be you cheating you your sons mother.
You never cheat, you get out if you feel like cheating. As in d i v o r c e
And even though she cheated on you... Does not mean you had to go and do it. Two wrongs dont make a right. You should think about what you have done to your son and your sons mother. Come clean and start from there.
2006-10-28 09:56:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am not sure what my other friends will say but I think you are a drunken man. You need to wake up. First you have a woman and not having sex with her, what do you expect? Listen if you have some oranges in your house and will not eat it, someone else will eat it for you, unless they are sour.
If you still love your former girl why do you not go back to her?
For all I am concerned, I doubt you are married. If you did not sign any contract, I cannot see how you are married.
Anyhow, get out of your world of madness and get into reality and be wise.
2006-10-28 10:10:48 · answer #3 · answered by sexonsight 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all this your son's mother never really loved you. If she cheated on you because basically you didn't want to have sex then she really don't deserve you but I understand that you wanted that self-satisfication of not being alone. I seriously think that you rushed into marriage fast but go ahead with the divorce because I seriously feel IF YOUR HEARTS NOT IN IT, THEN IT AIN'T MEANT. Be a good father to your child and marry the woman who really loves you. THE GIRLFRIEND,( but don't tell her you cheated on her it's not worth the drama just tell her the feelings in the relationship is not mutual)
2006-10-28 10:05:16 · answer #4 · answered by ADVICEGURL101 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you never really felt attracted to this girl and never really loved her, you should end the relationship. Counseling is not going to make you love her or be attracted to her. You will stray again and again.
It sounds like you stayed with her because it was easy and you were not lonely. Unfortunately, that does not make for a happy home.
Plan on paying child support and moving out. You would do much better to move on. Your child is learning from your relationship and is getting a bad education on love and marriage.
Take care and Good Luck,
Troy
2006-10-28 10:34:39 · answer #5 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to figure out what you want and then follow through with those decisions. It is not right to keep having an affair with one woman and lead the other one on that everything is fine. Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy.
2006-10-28 09:56:16 · answer #6 · answered by neinmom2one 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO man goes 4.5 years w/o having sex unless he is an underage teenager or Homosexual. It isn't any wonder she cheated on you. You aren't committed to her or you never would have fooled around on her. Set her free and also your self to find the happiness you both deserve.
2006-10-28 09:53:46 · answer #7 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not married, be with soul mate and support your child financially/physically.
2006-10-28 10:16:04 · answer #8 · answered by kyle g 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go back to HIgh School,
2006-10-28 09:54:14 · answer #9 · answered by brp_13 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are not happy, get her gone. son will someday understand. son is better off without unhappy parents together.
2006-10-28 10:42:44 · answer #10 · answered by sinned 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋