I get married 2 months ago with somebody I was engaged to since 1 year. She is from US, I am from somewhere in EU.
Her ex from US was the first guy to her. I discover that few day before I get officialy engaged, I accepted it anyway on the conditions that she was going to love me and that I don't wanted this guy to appear again in my life.
But they do still talk together once and a while. I close my eyes, bc I know she left her country for "me". But when he discover she get married, he suggested her to marry her whenever I will be "bad" with her. She said: "I don't know how to make it not hard, but just know.. I am still here."
This "hero" is really making my life hard. Especially when I do my best to make her feel good and work really hard for that.
Today after a none-related discussion, she puts her ring in my pocket and left me in the middle of the street. She always play the victim.
I have to go to work now, and I don't know how to focus..What should I do to solve that for good?
2006-10-28 02:47:47 · 21 answers · asked by AEuropeanguy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Look Kido, I really sympathize with you. You have my feeling of empathy in your corner. Noe here is what I suggest you do.LIVE ONE MINUTE AT A TIME. So try hard to dry your tears and go to work. While at work, try your best as much as possible to do the correct and right things. Do not hurt either yourself or anyone else. After work, try and go to a movie or just spend a few minutes counting the stars in the sky. Wrap[ up that ring tightly in a bag and put it up safely. You may need it again. Then get some good sleep but get a good dish of food before going to your bed. If you think you have to get some sex, try some creative means of doing so. Good luck.
2006-10-28 03:18:50 · answer #1 · answered by sexonsight 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should give her some space even though it is going to be very very hard. I think that if you don't give her a little space she may leave you. You should let her find out what she wants and go from there. If she isn't allowed the space you may regret it and this guy will never go away. She may need some space to see why things didn't work in the first place with this guy. I wish there were something else I knew you could do. I will remember to pray for you and your marriage. Everything will work out. Praying is the only thing that will truly help you.
2006-10-28 02:55:31 · answer #2 · answered by Julie J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her what it makes u feel like when she keeps in touch with her ex and also how difficult it is when she always plays the victim. Make it clear that u will not accept her having anything to do with the guy and if she cannot live with that, u should move on.
2006-10-28 02:56:30 · answer #3 · answered by Eileen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lots of drama--- wow, seems like a spanish soap opera. Hmmm... what to do. You know, if I were you I would grab her from her hand, really tight, the next time i saw her. I would put the ring on her hand and be you are mine! Making it dramatic. Then I wouldn't over react at the end--- maybe invite her for coffee to talk and discuss what you both are feeling. Good luck.
2006-10-28 02:56:15 · answer #4 · answered by erotikos_stratiotis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's really sad. it's too bad that she wasn't committed to you before she married you. i'm not sure that there is anything you can do other than letting her go. tell her that you love her and want to have a happy marriage but as long as she entertains the notion of still being with this other guy there is no marriage. tell her she is free to go if she wishes.
she might reevaluate her love to you and decide that she does love you and in that case she agrees to never communicate with this guy again. if she decides to leave you are probably better off than being stuck in a marriage with a woman that does not love you.
2006-10-28 02:55:37 · answer #5 · answered by onlylove41 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're no longer screwed up in any respect. you assert your fiance is a great guy and loves you to no end, yet you do no longer say you adore him! no longer which you do unlike him, i'm particular yo do in some wonderful little way, however the undeniable fact that it's not the 1st factor you assert makes the factor. Screams of a rebound dating. For the sake of your pending marriage, and your man or woman own properly being, you quite, easily could desire to sleep inclusive of your ex one greater time and discover out your authentic emotions. in basic terms make certain its the dirtiest, nastiest, wildest intercourse achievable, just to make certain.
2016-10-03 01:23:19 · answer #6 · answered by esannason 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit her down, and tell her she has to make a choice, love me, and be my wife, or love the US guy, and go to him. I thought that since, you was a married lady, you would cut ties, with your US guy. So we can work on our marriage. Tell her that by her talking to him, it is disrespectful to me, it hurts my feelings. I would not do that to you. You are not giving our marriage a chance. I need you to choose! This all hurts me so bad. Now if she does choose the US guy, you have to respect her wish, it is going to be hard. but it will at least it will let you know where you stand.
2006-10-28 03:08:03 · answer #7 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she sounds very young-I would guess 20-22 yrs. I would just let her know you feelings and be honest w/ yourself about your relationship- I 've been down a similar path and in the end I moved on to a much better and happyer place just don't lie to yourself and think everything is going to work its self out.
2006-10-28 02:54:21 · answer #8 · answered by I'm laughing WITH you 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry your hurting but sounds like she hasnt gotten over him and if she put the ring in you pocket then sounds like he has got to her and she wants to be with him. I am sorry maybe she clears her head she will come back to talk about it. just assure her you love her very much.
2006-10-28 02:53:28 · answer #9 · answered by needingitnow342000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only a woman could give you the best advice, but as a man all I have to say is: continue loving her, and she will “return” to you if she loves you. If not, let her do what she wants.
2006-10-28 03:03:03 · answer #10 · answered by z z 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋