On gay internet dating websites, I often read "straight-acting" as a pre-requisite for a guy to date you. So the illusion of heterosexuality is a fetish or some kind of fantasy for gay guys to get off on?
Can someone please explain why gay men are looking for men who 'pass' for straight? I act like me - Ashley. Whether or not I seem 'gay' enough, or too much, never occured to me before....
2006-10-28 01:50:12 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Thank You Thank You Thank You, it's about bloody time. I for one am what you call masculine, I'm a biker, I box, play rugby, weight-lift, etc, very "str8" stereotypical stuff, but when I describe myself I say masculine not str8 acting. You said it best, they're "acting". Sorry guys but it's time to just be who you are. I had a bf who was somewhat fem but I didn't care and neither did he. He was who he was and never apologized. If you want to describe yourself as being more masculine, then just use that word. No need to pass, no need to conform, just be you. Masculine, Fem, Trans, Bi, whatever, why do we continue to conform and more importantly why the hell should we. What exactly do we owe str8 society.......NOTHING, NADA, if anything it is they who owe us at least a modicum of respect. Personally I accept nothing less then respect, everything else is just filler.
Additional: For those who may wonder, I despise the term simply because of the implicit duality of it. It just sounds duplicitous, I know I'm being harsh, but seriously, better to be more accurate and less obfuscating.
2006-10-28 02:51:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Ah, the age old question.
First of all, "straight acting" isn't about pretending to be something that one isn't. It is, perhaps a misnomer. It would be more accurate as "not nellie."
It is about personality and behavior. It isn't about pretending. If you have been alive for more than a decade, you must have noticed that there are many "types" of people. There are numerous straight dudes who often get mistaken for a gay guy. There are gays who go through life with VERY few people ever knowing about their homosexual feelings. Some never, ever, "come out of the closet."
In the world of online "dating," the term, "straight acting" is an abbreviated way of saying, "most people wouldn't know I'm gay if I didn't tell them."
It could also mean that he is a lying, cheating, slob who has let himself go while watching televised wrestling and pro-football in a t-shirt that is decades past their prime and in desperate need of febreeze... Straight acting could just mean, "I've never had a deluxe spa pedicure."
The beauty of this... and the reason your question seems odd to me, is that we are all attracted to slightly different types of people. You may not have enough of a masculine personality for some and way too much for others... but almost certainly, there are plenty who will like you EXACTLY like you are... and at least a few who will be attracted to the person you are still becoming.
Don't fret what other people are and aren't attracted to. It doesn't matter.
Oh... another thing... why, when discussing the wonderful diversity of the gay community and everything OTHER people want or don't want, does your mind go immediately to how YOU act or don't act?
Not everybody is... or will be attracted to you. I know people who think Brad Pitt is ugly... go figure.
2006-10-28 09:22:08 · answer #2 · answered by Dustin Lochart 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey Ashley
I am an Out and Proud guy of 44 yrs myself I am me if people can't deal with that , I consider that their problem not mine ....
Anyway personally I think certain gay men actively search for so called straight acting guys because of society in general ,and maybe a combination of some other reasons .
Though the world is changing for the LGBT community alot is still not openly accepted in public . hence two guys out in public that look /act straight are less likely to be harassed ,etc.. than some guys that the public consider very feminine acting .
2) they could be in the closet still and not wanting anyone to know they are Gay at all for fear of their jobs ,etc...
3) some guys in general just prefer manly / rugged type
looking and acting guys
anyways all I have to say and live by is
Dont Make Me Over,Accept Me For What I Am. Accept Me For The Things That I Do,Dont Make Me Over . Take Me Like I Am HONEY !
2006-10-28 09:16:07 · answer #3 · answered by nygayart 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've never really thought about whether a guy was 'straight-acting' or not, but I don't use internet dating sites or personal ads. I'm attracted to all different types of men, some more 'butch' and 'masculine', some more 'camp', it just depends on the individual guy. If I was doing a personal ad I wouldn't specify anything like that.
But everyone has their own tastes and preferences, so I suppose it's OK to describe what you're looking for if that's what turns you on.
2006-10-28 09:33:41 · answer #4 · answered by JBoy Wonder 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like someone who is "straight-acting", but in the sense that they are just inclined to pass at straight or more masculine without actually putting on a show. I just prefer more masculine guys, but I also don't want an act either.
2006-10-28 14:58:23 · answer #5 · answered by Liir 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First the term "straight acting" makes me mad enough to spit. (Is spitting when mad a straight trait???)
I know that they mean masculine usually, which I happen to be. But I think on some level it is self hatred as well. It is saying that straight men have all the desirable traits one would want in a mate and gay men don't.
If one wants a masculine gay man why not say so?
2006-10-28 11:15:23 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Gee, you do love semantics don't you?
That term is referring to meeting someone that doesn't have a Prada Bag and stiletto heels fall out every time they talk, someone that doesn't act like a Stereotypical flamer in a public setting, someone that isn't mistaken for a twin of Jack McFarlane every time they speak, someone that wouldn't consider a Feather Boa an acceptable fashion accessory except on Halloween.
It has nothing to do with an "Act" or Acting" at all.
2006-10-28 09:44:40 · answer #7 · answered by IndyT- For Da Ben Dan 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
perhaps i should change str8 acting to str8 behaviorism. i just never took the term acting to be so offensive. but after the replies my eyes are open.
2006-10-28 10:19:02 · answer #8 · answered by shyboy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
personally i think its soo hott..well just because i dont like feminine guys.. i mean if i wanted a chick id just go get one
2006-10-28 17:45:13 · answer #9 · answered by crazayaznboi88 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you shouldn't try to analyze what turns people on too much. it takes all the fun out of life....
2006-10-28 09:42:41 · answer #10 · answered by domangelo 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋