I just accepted a position so that I could move and be near my husband (I am in another country currently). He is in the military and has to live where he is told but I am going to have to take a $12,000 a year pay cut to do the same job I do now. I don't want to move but we have a 3 year old son. Am I being selfish? Should I just move and be happy I found a job?
2006-10-28 01:49:36 · 8 answers · asked by Crazy n Confused - PHSYCO 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If he is in the military, he is likely to be deployed overseas. You may wish to discuss with him the benefits of you keeping the job you have now, just for a term corresponding to his current "hitch."
Talk it over, and consider that money is not everything. But make sure the schools and support are good for your child. As far as I know, Fort Stewart has good child care and the schools are good on post.
I wish you well, and thank your husband for his service, courage, and commitment.
2006-10-28 01:52:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why wouldn't you live in the same country as he is in anyway? I think it is very selfish to want to back out because of the pay. I am a military wife and go where my husband goes, no matter what the pay or where we go. It's a duty we have to do being that military wife. I never wanted to move from my home town to Hawaii (first duty station) but I did it to be with my husband because he was my love, my family, and the father of my daughter. She wasn't the main reason though. You can find happiness anywhere you just have to allow yourself to have it. There will be good and bad every where you go, just seek out the good. I would be happy you found a job where he is, it's hard for a military person or spouse to find a job in the civilian world, every one wants to hire the locals not the military. Trust me on that one, I've lived here (Kansas) for 3 years and have been told many times that they want someone permanent not that will move in a year. Funny, 3 years later we are still here. Same thing with many of my neighbors. So yes be very thankful you found a job. It's a big pay cut for you but if you love your husband and want your family enough you will take it.
2006-10-28 09:06:36 · answer #2 · answered by ~*~frankie~*~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every once in a while I run across someone I'm proud of, when reading these forums. You are a great girl. Not so much for what you are going to do, but, for what you have done and for your wisdom. There is allot of people that this subject wouldn't bother. They don't take in consideration all of the family, weigh all of the variables, to come up with an answer that might fit everyone. I don't know what your decision will be on this but it does my heart good to find someone who actually cares for the BIG picture. Personally if I were your husband I would say, since the military moves you around like chess pieces, stay while he puts in for an assignment that would benefit you all. That's easier said than done I know, but still it would be aggravating to settle down and find 6 months later it's time to go again back to somewhere close to where you started.
2006-10-28 09:01:26 · answer #3 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have the right to feel how you want to feel,
Its only when you display anger or resentment that it may become wrong. When a choice to have a child was made, a 18 year commitment was made to do what is best for the child. Being with his father is a a priority,
BUMMER
Justin
2006-10-28 08:55:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could just move & take some time off until both of you guys come back to the states.Spend some time with your son & enjoy it.
2006-10-28 09:00:07 · answer #5 · answered by "karma" 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you knew when he entered the military that he would be moving around alot, and you stuck around and agreed to it. Are you willing to throw away your marriage over $12,000 dollars? Do you want to explain to your son that mommy and daddy can't be together because mommy wants more money? you need to put your priorities in order.
2006-10-28 08:55:23 · answer #6 · answered by duce 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How much money would be enough to have your family together???????????
Every country has a different standard of pay. It doesn't mean you can't do your job well... it is the social practices of the country. that dictates the wages..........
I would scrub floors for a living just to have my family together..
Take the job and be happy.....
Money is not everything and neither is your ego.......get your family together.......
2006-10-28 09:04:09 · answer #7 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do what makes you happy. Money isn't everything. Do what's best for your son.
2006-10-28 09:18:47 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋