best one liner from flim or tv show?

Question

what one liner has made you crack up laughing and you still use it today, mine is from parenthood with steve martain, when his sister-in-law is trying to cheer her daughter up over the break up of her relationship, and the daughter says ''but he told me he loved me and the mum replies then he come, ha ha ha

Answer 1

Meaning of life.....John Cleese as sex ed teacher: The penis as you can see is now more or less fully erect.

Answer 2

Mine was in the movie "When Harry Met Sally" and Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal were in a restaurant. Meg told Billy that women fake orgasms all the time and men don't even know. He told her it's impossible for a woman to fool a man about that. Meg proceeds to fake an orgasm loudly right in the restaurant and when a waitress asks an older woman at the next table what she would like to order, the woman replies, "I'll have what she's having."

Answer 3

I don't know why this still makes me laugh, but do you remember the movie Air America with Mel Gibson and Robert Down Jr. Mel Gidson is having his plane blessed by buddist monks and Downie Jr says something about him what kind of Budist runs guns or something like that and then Gibson says something like, "well I never said I was a good Buddist". I love that part, still makes me laugh.

Answer 4

There was a great commentary in a snooker match: "For those watching in black and white, the blue ball is the one next to the pink ball."

From Airplane:
"Don't start up with your red zone, white zone crap"

From Airplane 2:
"What do you mean we don't have a bridge? Why aren't I notified about these things?"

From Red Dwarf:

"Let 's face it sirs, we're at guilty as the man behind the Grassy Knoll"

"Transmit the following on all known frequencies and in all known languages. Including Welsh!"

"It's my duty. My duty as a complete and utter bastard."

Answer 5

In the UK we had a sitcom called Gimmee Gimmee Gimmee. One of the characters, tom is gay, after sleeping with this guy and thinking he'd found a pervect soulmate, the guy announces that he's married and only sleeps with men occossianally and that he was now going back to his wife. Tom screamed at him that he was "so far back in the closet he's in fuc*ing Narnia" Still cracks me up.

Answer 6

The Rosanne show when her 16 yr old daughter said she thought it was romantic to have her boyfriends baby. Rosanne replied "Well, the first time you change a crappy diaper will take the romance out of it."

Answer 7

Sam Malones to the people the bar in Cheers following his misheard comment by Diane who had said 'why don't more men send flowers'

'I didn't know Mormons couldn't send flowers, Norm did you know Mormons couldn't send flowers, do you think its a religious thing?'

Answer 8

Anytime I find myself in the middle of a conversation where a bunch of people are talking about things I have absolutely no idea about, I blurt out, "I love lamp. I LOVE LAMP."

Answer 9

The end of 'Some like it hot' where cross-dressed Jack Lemmon has told his millionaire suitor that he's actually a man: "Well, nobody's perfect!"

Answer 10

in star wars episode 2 there is a great 'in-joke'.
when obi-wan and anikin enter the bar, obiwan says to anikin -
"why do i feel that you are going to be the death of me?"

everyone knows that anikin becomes darth vader and then kills obi-wan in episode 4.

i love jokes in films like that

Answer 11

i don't have a favourite but my favourites are:

'i pity the fool!' -BA baracus (a- team)
'i love it when a plan comes together!' - hannibal smith (a- team)
'watcha talkin about willis?'- arnold (diff'rent strokes)
'if the milk turns sour, i ain't the ***** to drink it!' (lock stock and two smoking barrels, british film by guy richie, madonna's husband)