Had a look around and i have seen a few but there are usually directed at african americans etc, i would like to find one more to do with british and asian (indian in particular). Feel i need some help getting things clearer in my mind.
2006-10-28 01:36:51 · 4 answers · asked by Sharon J 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
No future spouse. Already married him and require IMMEDIATE help!!! Love him so much but the culture issues are just too much for me to cope with right now.
2006-10-28 01:42:56 · update #1
Ah...is it about the problem with sis in law living with you? Well it can lead to a few problems , especially if one of the parties is not considerate enough. I dont know a book but if it relates to your earlier questions...
How long have you been married? You said your SIL is moving out in a few months... try to have a bit patience and once she moves out it would be better. In India regardless of religion unmarried brother, sister living with married one and even parents are common. We have a joint family system. It has its pros and cons.....
Off course it does not suit your culture so you find it strange and even In India , often wives dont go along with live in SIL or MIL....really. Usually the brother's wives are keen to see their SIL getting a good husband SOON. Remember the part "good.".. if it does not turn out well, they may have to support again LOL.... Not trying to scare you... just insisting that family ties are important.
Yet it has its plus points..... You will get a helping hand when you have your own children. SIL is supposed to baby sit whenever she can.... after all.
Then again you need to talk to your husband. Not in anger or irrtation, but rationally. If your SIL is acting sefishly or ignoring you , being a burden, ask your husband to talk to her.
Think of things you CAN tolerate and compromise with and to which you cannt when it comes to relatives. And tell that to your husband when disscussing.
A bit of patience and small compromises go a long way in marriage. Its not that much of cultural isue. In India too some marriages suffer because of interferrence of relatives and some are saved by it. Some can tolerate SIL some cannt.
Its base of many family dramma soap operas!!! Sometimes its a Bhabhee(wife of brother) who does not want SIL around, sometimes its a SIL , who forgets her brother is not only her brother anymore but has his own family too.
Lets pray that, your SIL gets married and gets too busy in her own life to worry you. You will get plenty of time with your husband.... if you are considerate towards his sister(Not asking you to be a doormat... Just small gestures) he will respect you for that.
Good luck.
2006-10-29 04:31:31 · answer #1 · answered by Karma 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Let's get down to the nitty gritty here. The two of you need to talk. If you can't talk, then you have no relationship. Find out the aspirations of each other, and see where you can resolve any differences. If it seems that your wishes take second place, then leave that relationship, and leave it now. If you don't, you'll only find yourself leaving later, after having denied yourself a lot of time to readjust and face the future without him. I don't want you to split up, but I think you walked into this marriage with your eyes closed. I am white, but I have always been in a mixed relationship. However ,I know all about the culture of my partner, maybe even more. If you're not culturally aware, you are not culturally there.
2006-10-28 06:58:35 · answer #2 · answered by ♫ Rum Rhythms ♫ 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi I'm sorry don't think there is a book on this topic if there is hope you find it but do think you have to talk to your partner about this ..think the culture difference is quite deep with probably other family members remember you also have a family culture which many Asian families seem to forget do they make allowances don't think so sorry this is not helping just hope your husband loves you enough to be fair good luck wish you well
2006-10-29 00:54:49 · answer #3 · answered by bobonumpty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you need to find about about the culture of the future spouse and start there.
Indian sounds a bit broad to me, as it would depend entirely on their religion.
When you know what the differences are, then you can see which, if any, you would disagree with or find difficult to compromise.
2006-10-28 01:40:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋