Boyfriend has been taught that being kinky, having anal watching porn and masturbating was wrong and bad.
I am very sexually liberal which has made him more comfortable. When have tried certain(very intimate) things he is distant the next day, he said doesn't know how to deal with the conflicting thoughts in his head I.E he really loves it yet he feels dirty. Usually we have only tried kinky things when he is extremely drunk and he suggests it (or I just try it) we have talked about these things before ( doing them) and he knows I do not view anything about sex as wrong, he seems to be more relaxed(thoughts wise) and is more daring. He has never done these things before yet I feel he is sexually repressed because he absolutely loves it.
He says he's never been this comfortable with anyone in his life (he's in his forties and has only had 3 women before me).
WELL?
2006-10-28 01:35:49 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I am in my late twenties and he is in his forties. We've been together for six months and have just started experimenting. His parents we're really controlling people.
2006-10-28 01:37:54 · update #1
I think the answer is obvious myself :)
You are doing the right things though, doing something when he is ready, talking about it and so on. Give it time.
2006-10-28 01:38:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Nobody, male or female should feel that they have to do things with a sexual partner that make them feel uncomfortable. Lots of couples aren't kinky, don't have anal sex or watch porn and have very satisfying sex lives. You're judging him as being sexually repressed without thinking that you may just be too kinky for him. If he has to get extremely drunk to go along with you, you're being a little selfish here. Why aren't you with a guy or guys who share your philosophy that nothing is kinky enough? This guy may have been sexually abused as a boy. You're not qualified to judge whether he's sexually repressed or not. There are plenty of guys out there more than willing to help you out. Cut this poor guy loose. He has issues and you're not helping.
2006-10-28 09:15:22 · answer #2 · answered by Debra D 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you have this boyfriend just for the sexual pleasures or do you love him for who he is? If he's not ready (yet) for all your kinky outbursts, then just let him be. Maybe he will want to do things in his own sweet time or maybe not. By trying to push him into things you'll make him feel guilty for not wanting to do the kinky stuff you're into. So then either he feels guilty for doing (because of how he's brought up) it and he feels guilty for not doing it (because you do want to do it). Having to get someone drunk before he has sex with you is usually not a good sign.
2006-10-28 09:56:45 · answer #3 · answered by chocolatebunny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, I myself grew up just like your boyfriend did. I was taught that any sex that was not the missionary was wrong. Anal sex, oral sex, kinky stuff are all suppose to be wrong. My girlfriend got me into all that stuff and I love it, I may feel some guilt within myself sometimes, but I still love it. It took me some time to get use to it, but I'm more open minded right now. So, give your boyfriend some more time to get use to it, and trust me he'll come around.
2006-10-28 08:54:53 · answer #4 · answered by Crew served weapon 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think u should leave him and find someone younger because u need someon who can satisfy u more than he does. dont miss out on ur youth...
2006-10-28 08:44:49 · answer #5 · answered by abi 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He's got hangups...me on the other hand have none...wanna party?
2006-10-28 08:54:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋