Is there a polite way to say "None of your business" or "Mind your own business"?

Question

I'm mainly talking about people who are well meaning but who constantly either give unsolicited advice or continue asking questions beyond my comfort level.

I'm a very private person, and I'm of the strong belief that all of us have a right to a certain level of privacy.

Also, I'm the type of person who prefers to take my time in making decisions, especially life-altering ones and many do get impatient about that.

So how do I tell people such as inlaws (who are very kind and sweet in other ways) to back off or mind their own business, without alienating them and possibly affecting my marriage, as inlaws as a general rule tend to be unforgiving, and I want so much to be able to prevent any incidents they may hold against me for the rest of eternity?

Some of the answers already posted can be just as off-putting as "none of your business". I need an answer that will NOT be off-putting. The key here is to prevent any broken relationships, other than simply to take it.

Answer 1

You have boundaries that well meaning people tend to step over, It's a common fault I know, but if they are older than you, It does not mean that they are more mature than you, does it? Most older people i.e. in-laws and sometimes parents make that mistake, but they are well meaning in the majority of cases. However! having said that, how to stop it! I would just say that you have already decided on the issue and cannot be persuaded to alter your thinking, and thank them for their 'productive criticisms' the mere fact you have mentioned 'criticism' should alert them to the fact that they might have stepped over your 'boundary' It's very subtle but it works! Have a nice day!

Answer 2

You could answer: "why do you need to know?" in response to a question.

OR...you could sit down with the inlaws and explain to them you are uncomfortable with it comes to sharing private information. Say it with a smile and then ....no conversation about it..."would you like some tea?"

If more questions come up, change the subject. They will get the hint. Also inlist the aide of your husband to ask them to go easy on the interrigation. Some inlaws will be offended no matter what you do. But I strongly suggest that you do this with your husband creating a solid front. If they just won't back off, you might have to be extremely frank with them: "I'm not comfortable sharing that information". Then go on to another topic.

Godloveya.

Answer 3

I'm still giving the last thing you gave me as "food for thought" some serious consideration and now you want me to make a snap decision on this matter? C'mon, I am a thorough thinker on any subject where it concerns your Son because I want to be the
Best Wife that you thought that should marry your Son, and I want to be "sure" that what ever decision I make will be of the greatest impact for him, our children and our future...

I have to weigh out all the parameters, and give each and everyone serious consideration. Weighing averages against pitfalls, and other unforseen occurances that may affect our lives.

If I were to give you a "quick decision" then I may make the wrong one, and it would be disasterous and you would think less of me, for not having taken my time on this very important subject of discussion.

What would your Son think if I were to make a sudden decision on such a deep personal matter with out his imput? It would be wrong in my marriage to make a decision with out his imput because it affects us both, and neither he nor I am going to make any snap decisions regarding something so important, before weight all the issues regarding this subject.
After we "do" come to a decision, we are going to consult you on the matter to make sure that we "have" made the right one, because we respect your opinions as you have lived a longer time on this Earth and have a lot more knowledge and experience and we value them highly.

I wish you well..

Jesse

Answer 4

Say something like -- "I really appreciate that you want to help or give your advice. That's very kind of you and shows that you really care. But although what you're saying may work for you if you were in my position, I think you and I are different in many ways, and I tend to do things differently. And when you make suggestions like that, it sort of makes me second guess mine, which ultimately doesn't really help me out. So, what do you think we can do about that?" And then the other person will probably actually make the suggestion that they should stop giving you advice...And if that doesn't happen, then just say it. Hope this is helpful. Good luck :)

Answer 5

When the ask a question you are not comfortable with, just fluff it off, "ehh" "huh" and change the subject. They should get the hint pretty quick, nd if they push, just say, "Don't worry about it" Don't feel you have to justify not answering private issues to the asker. If they continue to push, just say, if and when I would like your opinion on my business, then I will talk to you about it, but until then, please leave it alone. They should respect that, if they don't, then you should feel free to tell them to ***** off! lol, because they are not respecting your or your privacy.

Answer 6

If you are dealing with the in law situation I think you should 1st talk to your spouse tell her how you feel about whatever they need to back off from. When it comes to in laws I think your spouse needs to stand and say that is enough not you .That is her place.If she doesn't you will have trouble in the marriage anyways. Been there & done that.

Answer 7

Maybe you could say something like " I know you just want to let me know what you think is best for me because you care about me and my marriage and I appreciate that but I really need to decide this myself"...it is hard to say it and not sound rude, I know how they can be.

Answer 8

Tell them that you don't feel comfortable talking about it . Tell your in-laws that you appreciate their support but think it would be best if you and your spouse worked things out in your own time.

Answer 9

Just tell them it's private personal matter and you would rather deal with it yourself
Good Luck
Jeff

Answer 10

try saying, PLEEZ mind ur own business in a very polit tone, lol