An act of Violence or Temper?

Question

I would welcome answers from both M and F could you please indicate which you are.
A couple are having a heated discussion about their 8 month relationship. The general gist was both had been feeling unloved and unimportant to the other.
Neither wants to be the one in the wrong.
The lady sniggers at one of the mans point of view.
He sees it and rage sets in. He smashes a glass not hurting either of them.
He jumps up and starts shouting and swearing at her..she does not respond. The verbal abuse and swearing goes on for a further 5 mins then he leaves the room.
The arguement ends there.
In your opinion was the husbands reaction one of Violence or Temper?
Or something else.

Answer 1

It's grief!

The guy suddenly realised that your relationship was all over - continuing to reason with you was pointless - obviously neither of you really love each other - he was sad and hurt that what had probably started so well had deteriorated to the point of sniggering disrespect.

(M)

Answer 2

(m) I see it as temper, obviously a lot of stress has built up in the time before this argument and had not naturally vented out. He did not just break the glass because of the snigger, that was just the final straw. If he had actually hit the lady that would of been an act of violence.

Answer 3

well thats a really good question. well i mean he totally overreacted for one thing, not that she was being too considerate. but well i guess it would be temper that triggered off any such reaction at all, especially the cursing, but the fact that he went as far as smashing the glass shows would definately be because of violence. i mean, any guy coulve gotten really upset and just walked out on her, but to throw something and start screaming is a huge sign of violence. lol hope i actually answered the question cuz i CLEARLY go in circles when i talke. oh and im a female.

Answer 4

Female and I think it was a combonation of both. Simply because even though the glass did not hurt either of them, there was no point in him smashing the glass. If he hadn't have done that and had only yelled, then I would have said temper only. But because he smashed the glass I say temper and violence.

Answer 5

i would say temper, but there will probebly be more discussions in the future about lots of issues if you stay together, he does have to learn to control his temper even when he does not agree with something you have said, because if you did agree with everything there would be no discussion in the first place, you will end up just a puppet on his string definately don't want that im sure, personally i believe that men do tend to stamp their feet when not getting own way, and also by doing this obviously the problem did not get solved. i am female by the way.

Answer 6

Whether its violence or temper why does it matter. Both parties were in the wrong. For the woman to laugh at the man she loves shows no respect especially when we know its not easy for men to communicate their feelings. For the man to to smash the glass, and shout and swear at her is not acceptable. Communication is key to all relationships, if they cant communicate, they need to do themselves both a favour and end the relationship.

Answer 7

M

His reaction is not violence.

His reaction isn't necessarily temper either. Possibly in part but not wholly. The remainder is anger. The degrees of each being due to his overlaying personality and just how much patience and tolerance he can handle, and how severe her insult was.

Her insult also being driven by her tolerance level and patience level with him.

We can't judge the severity of her insult because we don't know more details of the history of each person. Was her insult justified? Probably not. Insults can sometimes be driven by just having been pushed to the end of one's limits. It can also be a sign of pettiness and immaturity. We can't know which category she might be coming from. Same for him.

Answer 8

Frustration ! The man is trying to get a point across and not being heard, Ego can be a real relationship killer !! ( But I'm just a man never being heard,so I'll just go break a glass or something !! )

Answer 9

it is in men's nature to respond to situations that they can't cope with by showing their physical superiority by acting out violence... depending on the guy, depends where the acting stops and the violence actually begins.
whilst it is disrespectful to laugh at someone's point of view in a discussion (women act out on an intellectual level when threatened), it is equally stupid for a woman to do it in an arguement with a man (men are egotistical, and will act out when that is threatened of belittled)
likewise for a man to think it is necessary for him to act out to a woman, it is a sign of disrespect. both have behaved badly... her first, and then him (he should have just walked out).
i would conclude that these two people are not ready for serious relationships (or at least this relationship) as they don't seem to be able to find a middle ground with in themselves on which they can communicate with out their primal instincts getting in the way. or if they are capable, then they just don't like eachother very much and should move on.

Answer 10

Violence