I fell in love with his guy who was 5 years older than I when I was 15. We were together alittle over a year and it ended becuase our long distance relationship wasn't working out. That was when I was 16. Now that I'm 19 we've still kept in touch all this time and I did see him last Thanksgiving and am planning to see him again in November. I still have feelings for him and he says he cares about me a lot and that he does in fact believe he loves me. Should we get married? I've realized I'm never going to find the "perfect man" and that there are things about him that I don't like and vice versa... I still want to risk it.
PS) Should I worry about family? I know my family doesn't approve of him since he's older and I don't get along too well with his family... should it matter?
2006-10-27 21:56:19 · 18 answers · asked by Isabel G 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
at 19 you are very young for marriage I think, why not give it longer, you are a young lady, who knows you might meet that perfect guy yet! You can be friends and all with this guy and play it by ear, why not wait a couple more years.
2006-10-27 22:00:11 · answer #1 · answered by ladynamedjane 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you may be in love with the idea rather than the person. All these things people overlook tend to become HUGE issues latter. You write that the relationship ended but you also talk about marriage. Come on.
It's OK to date and see him when he is around but you should be trying to make something of your life in the mean time like education etc. I think if HE was really serious about the relationship he would have made more attempts to see you instead of once a year... Actions speak louder than words.
2006-10-27 22:11:47 · answer #2 · answered by Red 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I thnk you should give yourself a lot more time to think and re-think and consider if he's the right guy for you. Age doesnt matter. But you're still young, and sometimes young people made wrong choices. I got married at 19 too, and now I fully realize that I've made the wrong decision. Give yourself some more time. Get to know him more. He's not even sure that he loves you. You said he "believes" he loves you. Having a feeling for a man doesnt mean you have to marry him right away..Think and re-think. Good luck !!
2006-10-27 22:16:54 · answer #3 · answered by qi-li-xiang 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are still really young. Don't you want to experience a little more of life before you tie the knot? Why would you have to get married? Shouldn't you try dating him for a while in the same town before marrying? I would not rush into anything.
If you do not live on your own right now try to be out on your own before getting hitched. Try to get settled with a career or decide what you want to do. Go to school. I do not know...
It sounds like you are not ready for something this serious yet or it sounds like you want to be talked out of it from another source outside of your family.
I could be completely wrong, I just know that it is fun to be single and experience life when we are young.
2006-10-27 22:14:17 · answer #4 · answered by Baby Ruth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look love has no limit and I think that you guys should probably get married if you think that you want to or you feel that its the best thing. There isn't going to be a perfect man and i want you to keep that in mind always because its all about compromise. Girl you have to understand that everyone have faults and vices its if you could live with his faults and vices and as for his family, for get them. You aren't going to get married or live with his family but you are going to marry and live with him. He is the one that you have to worry about and as for your family I think that they have to learn to mind their own business. Although your family's opinion might have a hold on you, you have to know what is in your heart and know what is best for yourself. Don't make anyone make decisions for you. Be independant.
2006-10-27 22:27:48 · answer #5 · answered by *Pretty In Pink* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THings change once u get married.....family is needed but more important is life partner who helps you in all ways i think you shud marry him but make sure that he wont leave you once he is with you.. support you ....n alwayz there for you..as per you he is older than u then he may understand these things in better way..so go ahead and marry..coz its a decision of the lifetime u cant scarifice ur happiness for life for any reason else upto you...god bless you and wish you luck
2006-10-27 22:16:12 · answer #6 · answered by Angela 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like to me your just settling. You are only 19 years old, you have lots of time to find someone that you will love and want to spend the rest of your life with.
2006-10-27 22:01:59 · answer #7 · answered by sweetgurl13069 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
5 years older is normal. Your folks do not approve. His folks do not approve. You see your folks are seeing something that you are missing seeing in each other. I think best to end the relationship and look else where!!
2006-10-27 23:05:34 · answer #8 · answered by R C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter what your family thinks. As for marrying him, shouldn't you spend more time together, as in the same place, before you make a decision like that
2006-10-27 22:01:09 · answer #9 · answered by chelles_insanity 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Five years difference is not a problem. Female will have 4 yrs maturity than a male has. If you are saying him as perfect match to you then why you are waiting for. Try to convince your parents.
Love will not be reduced when you are far.
2006-10-27 22:01:55 · answer #10 · answered by Bosco 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋