its driving me crazy not knowing the truth,i found condoms in her purse and im fixed we never use them.i feel like dying.she says she will try to work out our marriag but since she told me shes not as lovey dovie as she was no kissing or hugging like before.should i just end my life or stick it out?
2006-10-27 21:47:25 · 19 answers · asked by bob m 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
maybe you should have a threesome with them...
2006-10-27 22:33:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your posting sounds very sad. Sorry to hear what you wrote. 22 years is a long time, myself 27, so I can totally sympathize with you how you must be feeling.....End your life, no way!!! Don't be mad, but she isn't worth it. (ending your life) Your world has just turned upside down and seems you didn't see this coming....You are feeling rejected, understandable. Think sometimes, when your married a long time, things get so routine. And quite frankly a tad boring. Work, bills, etc. ya' get comfortable and the passion sort of disappears. She must be getting attention that she is requiring in her life, not to say you don't give her any. But an "affair" is kind of exciting in the wrong way, it's dangerous, spontaneous, lustful, like when you were first together. Sometimes that gets lost in the shuffle of life. I have no advice other than ending your life is not the answer. If you have children they will be devistated. Your wife is having issues. But she shouldn't be able to have her cake and eat it too. I mean living with you. Is she there cause' your the provider? A place to live....It's one thing to flirt a little bit, just to let you know your still human, that's no biggie, but when you cross that fine line, trust, and giving of yourself to someone else, kissing or sex, that line is crossed, how do you go back? You may really love her, but she has crossed that line I'd say. Maybe a seperation would be in order. Grass isn't always greener on the other side. When the la di da wears off, maybe she'll see what she screwed up, maybe it'll make things better, or you'll be able to start a new chapter in your life. Hard, very hard, the things you have to do, but sometimes maybe they are the right things to do....Please don't harm yourself, that isn't the answer....hope things work out for the best for you sincerely.
2006-10-27 22:13:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your marriage is in big trouble, as you know. I empathize with you as my wife of 17 years left me 5 years ago. I too, felt like I wanted to die. I went to a separated and divorce support group which helped a lot.
If you are thinking about killing yourself you should see a doctor right away. Wanting to kill yourself is a symptom of depression.
Antidepressants have helped me a lot.
See if your wife will go to marriage counseling with you. It not only might help, if she refuses, then that tells you how interested she is on "working on the marriage".
One thing I would definitely do is to see a divorce lawyer right away. You need to find out what the legal issues are and what you have to do to protect yourself. When my wife left, she said she had made no decision to divorce me but only needed some time apart. Later, I realized she had seen a lawyer before she left and had never had any intention of staying in the marriage.
If this is the end of your marriage, you will feel much better in time, but you will need some support and maybe some medication to help you during this difficult time.
It's possible that her feelings for this other man and her behavior is scaring her and that she has conflicts over this. I'm not saying that this is the case buy maybe you could ask her about this. In fact it would be good for you to try to talk to her about all the issues she sees in the marriage and the issues that you see also.
2006-10-27 22:46:19 · answer #3 · answered by Smartassawhip 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with holden get youself a young fresh 18 to 22 year old and teach her how her body truly works sh*t you have 22years experience. Plz don't kill youself do you know how hard it is to find a guy who knows where all the parts actually go and for how long it should stay there??? Man you are a national treasure. Anyway isn't it great to find out that after all those boring years of marriage that a woman can still surprise the living sh*t out of you even if it was in such a crap way? You probably stopped feeling anything a long time ago just like her and all these feelings to come crashing back all at once must be shoking to deal with but isn't it amazing just to feel something so powerful even if it is intence shock and hate? You should go out and celebrate you new found if unexpected good fortune. Let that ****ole put up with her menopause She just released you from fanning away her hot flushes her dry vagi*na and her mood swings man. Go out get laid have a guilt free orgasm with a hot young stranger. Then go to the highest point in your town and scream from the top of your lungs "Fu*k YOU, YOU WERE NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO WAS BORED.
2006-10-28 07:54:05 · answer #4 · answered by Chillypepers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats EASY "NO" You had both start communicating to find out what is missing in your marriage (they do not run on auto-pilot) that is driving you too apart. Common mid life problem. Communication and commitment is key. This may get even trickier than you can even imagine, be prepared (not angry) try and understand everything you can about your relationship. I Pray that you both have a relationship with the Almighty God you both took your wedding vow to. If not get God's little instruction manual out dust off the cover and turn to malachi 2:16 Take a cold hard look at your life and your marriage wipe the tears away and turn to ephesians 5 read the entire chapter. Believe me you need God in your corner to win Satan is in the ring with you and your home. You are the Man BE IT! Stiffen up that upper lip, do not be harsh on yourself you can do it with Christ in your life. Do not be weak among the non believers . Your Arms will rise with Victory. Been there 22 years also seen all satan has to offer he's been thrown out of the ring! God Bless You
2006-10-27 23:28:48 · answer #5 · answered by oohaygators 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First If she can do that to you she is not the person you thought she was. second split the finances you pay your half and the money left is yours. third go out by your self enjoy your self flirt have a good time come home when and if you want. if she wants to act single don't keep giving her the benefits of being married they are earned. see how she likes the shoe on the other foot. you may find you like it. try to remain in different don't let her mess with you head take some power. no other person deserves that much power over your life.good luck. What you really need is a brand new girl friend spend a little on another woman that will do it.
2006-10-27 21:57:12 · answer #6 · answered by setter505 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why end your life?????????? You can move on to, it may not seem like you can but you will. Pray about this a lot and take her on a date, tell her your feelings for her and how badly you still want to be together forever. Ask her what you need to do to help it work. Maybe some counseling would help both of you. I have seen people break up and both be happier in a new relationship,so don't go harming yourself, there are a lot of ladies out there looking and I am sure you could find another one someday if this one ends. Good luck to you, marriage is one of the hardest jobs there is, we have been married for years, but none are totally perfect!
2006-10-27 21:52:52 · answer #7 · answered by ladynamedjane 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have found condoms in her purse and all they have done is kiss, yeah right and i'm the pope. Brother it is time to cut your losses, pack her s**t set it outside and tell her not to let the doorknob hit her where the good lord split her, but before you do that close all the bank accounts and open them again in your name only. Let what's his name support her. Also cancel all her credit cards and any other financial stuff she might have. Then call her parents and tell her they can expect her to move back in with them and when they ask why tell them you caught her having an affair, now that will embarass her beyond belief, that's what i did when i caught my wife cheating, and it was totally humilliating to her.
2006-10-27 23:20:44 · answer #8 · answered by benrumson 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you want to find out the truth, hire an investiator to follow her and see where she goes. If you find out that they are in a hotel, get pictures and there's your proof that it is more than a kiss. But have a plan and decide what you will do, if that 's what the case is. Something is wrong in your marriage if she is looking to be friends with a male friend. But then they might just be friends and nothing is going on. Me I would follow her and see what is going on.
2006-10-27 21:55:45 · answer #9 · answered by lindablue8 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give up miracles do happen my husband and i are 20 years we had the same problem it was my next door neighbor's brother. it was true that only kissing was going on with us but that was only because he would not go further without me being separated. i turned to him because i could not truly communicate with my husband. but then i started to care in a different way. my husband wrote me a 4 page letter telling me all the ways he felt that he had failed me and told me that if i wanted D he would walk away ( by this time the divorce was 1month away) i read the letter and it made me think of all the ways i had failed him. he also said that he loved me and wanted me back and 20 years was too much to give up on in his opinion. We are now back together and D is no longer an issue.Don't give up hun. my husband and i are now closer than ever because we learned to communicate.
2006-10-27 22:36:51 · answer #10 · answered by jusme 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she is willing to work it out then she should be willing to break it off,
Don't buy the we only kissed, it's a lie, the condoms are proof.
There is a chance this has been going on for eight years and she just got sloppy.
Don't kill your self you would regret it.
Sounds like she isn't worth it anyway.
2006-10-27 22:29:09 · answer #11 · answered by Red 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋