Why do men like abuse by dominatrix?

Question

Men, please let me know why a man would like to be 'punished'.. why he'd like to be told what to do.. Why do some men love that? Was it something from when they were growing up that they lacked, or were they abused.. or it's just fun getting off later on.. after the dominatrix is finished punishing.....??

Answer 1

Very few Dominas let their clients "get off" - it's rarely a sexual thing. Most Dominas would tear a man's liver out were he to suggest it. There is no cut and dried general profile of a man who serves a Dominatrix, but all enjoy, deep within themselves, that period of servitude and submission. Some general pointers though - most men who visit a Dominatrix are highly intelligent, and often quite powerful, either commercially or socially. There may be a trade off between the power they exert in their public lives, and the need for the reassurance of being controlled in their private lives.

Answer 2

The issue you're not addressing is the fact that there is a sense of need to to do this. Not want. Lots of people want that experience, some find it in the vanilla world by being with people who are controlling and whatnot. Others decide that they want to own their sexuality and play a role of submissive for a while and if they pay someone for it, that's okay. There's no actual sex involved because that would be prostitution. But, still thinking about it would lead to good feelings after the fact that could fuel fantasies, if so desired. It's not about abuse. Studies have shown that people into BDSM (which is a question of a different sort) have no higher rate of abuse as children then the normal population at large.

Answer 3

First of all I don't like the word abuse since it's mostly used to describe non consensual activities.
Second I want to point out that there is a difference between a Pro-dominatrix and a dominant woman that dominate her partner. A Pro is balancing a fine line between legal and prostitution. The activities are of sexual nature but it's not prostitution until the guy gets off. Generally speaking.

Being submissive or a masochist is who you are just like you are straight or gay. Are you (inset whatever sexual orientation) because you were abused as a child? Because you lacked something? Or is it because you like getting off?

D/s is about more than punishment and being told what to do.

Answer 4

I am a sissy boy that has 5 mistresses and have been dominated since I was 10 yrs old. My mother and grandmother and aunt and cousin and sister. They all punished me by dressing me up in girls clothes and made me stand in the front window for all the neighbors to see. I was even taken for walks around the neighborhood and taken to resturants dress as a little girl. for the most part I got away with it except all the neighbors new who I was and what was happening, to their amusement. After all these years it is a way of life. I am still with all my mistresses and am their houseboy. I do all the house chores and am dress in a maid outfit or a little girl outfit. Like I say it is a way of life.

Answer 5

Playing the part of the dominatrix (or dominant, if you're a guy) with someone who wants to play the part of the submissive is just that: consensual play between two partners. No one is getting victimized.

Answer 6

men are expected to be in control all the time. This is a way of escaping that for awhile

Answer 7

ok ...here goes nothing.....its not about punishment per se, in my particular case its about trying to learn to be even more submissive to my master. its about trying to learn to please my master (in my case mistress/teacher). its not all about "getting off" it is very definitely NOT all about sex. it is so much more than that. on so many levels i dont have the vocabulary to begin to describe it on here for you.

Answer 8

In terms of Freudian psycho-analysis, traditionally speaking, the phenomenon is rooted in what is called the “Oedipus Syndrome”, where the mythic male figure "unknowingly" married his mother. I have come to identify it as the "Attis Syndrome", having its origin in the child-like consort, named Attis, to the Phrygian (Asia Minor) Great Mother Goddess, Cybele. Attis was a Cupid-like male child-figure married to his mother, a nature goddess. Apparently, it has to do with a deficiency in maternal bonding between the man (son) and his own mother during his infancy and childhood, perhaps due to some kind of overt rejection by the mother, or a sickly mother, or no presence of the mother at all, or what we are now becoming more fully aware of as “post-natal stress syndrome”, where the child is abhorred by the mother. So through the erroneous manner and process of "symbolic confusion" the man attempts to reconnect with maternal dominance in a skewed sexual fantasy via the role of the dominatrix (Goddess Cybele) and himself as the infantile consort sex slave (Attis) usually involving maternal discipline (“Who’s your mommy?”) in order to artificially fill (of course, to no avail) the internal and empty deficit of the un-affirmed maternal presence completely absent from his life. The purpose of the role of a mother is to “over-protect” her child (whereas, the functional role of a father is to force the child to be adventurous and take “risks”). Grown men gravitated to the dominatrix underworld are men not having healthy maternal “over-protection”, leaving them as vulnerable beings yearning and desiring domination and disciplinary over-protection coupled with a sexualized hunger for the maternal presence, seeking satisfaction to fill the deficit, but in a dysfunctional, warped and skewed way.

Answer 9

I guess some men like it...I personally don't....I don't disapprove of it...I'm just not interested in it.

Answer 10

Why do you ask a question about heterosexual sex in a gay section????