my husband spends way too much time on the internet...its affecting his job and life in general. He gets on here and plays Counter Strike and Yahoo answers and U-tube and stuff like that. he usually gets home around 6 and stays on the net until 12 or 1 or so in the morning...knowing that he has to be up at 6:30 to go to work. i just recently sat down with him and told him that i wanted us both to be off of the net by 10:00 p.m. every night. i'm just trying to help him. i want him to have a good nights sleep and turning the computer off at 10 seemed to be a reasonable answer to my problem. is he going to resent me for this? i dont have a problem with him being on here....its just that he spends too much time on here. am i being harsh and unfair?
2006-10-27 21:12:40 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know u are just doing this for his own good but just keep in mind how u approach the subject. If he feels he is being dictated to like a child, then he "might" end up resenting u for it. Afterall, u are not his mother but his wife. At the same time, there has to be some kind of compromise and u need to make him see it your way without being overly critical and demanding.
2006-10-27 21:21:28 · answer #1 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see why you're doing this and I agree there is an addiction. But if your husband thinks its ok and cant see the impact on his life- then nothing you say or do is going to help.
You need to put facts in his face so he can see the problem not just put a rule in place that he will eventually break and resent you for...
Good luck!
2006-10-28 04:54:15 · answer #2 · answered by Amanda A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy, is he ever addicted (it takes one to know one). If there aren't groups such as Computer Addictive Anonymous, there should be. He probably will resent your asking him to get off the internet but why 10? I would think that 2 hrs wld be sufficient. You are not being harsh; he is being unreasonable.
Tell him that his relationship with you is suffering as well; in fact, it sounds like you don't have a relationship anymore, except legally. Tell him that it pains you that he prefers the computer to spending time with you and your family (if you have one). And besides, you want to use it as well. With both of you using it you have no time for each other. It's pretty drastic but I would go so far as to get rid of it if he can't bring himself to limit his usage time......and let him know it might come to that. Good luck to you; I'm afraid you're going to need as much as you can get.
2006-10-28 04:26:30 · answer #3 · answered by Judith 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Um, since your on here breaking your own rule of after 10, then it is unfair. Also you are asking people that are online after midnight. Its too Bias. Actually, plan a night out. Take a walk together, go to church, read to each other. He will get sucked in and may not make it out. But you gotta do the same. Its a phase. hell get bored soon.
2006-10-28 04:17:42 · answer #4 · answered by jswolpers 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's only going to resent you if you force him to do anything. You have to make him realize its not healthy for him and its hurting you when he spends all his time on the net. If he doesn't realize that you only want what's best for him he's the one being a bad husband.
2006-10-28 04:19:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
OF COURSE NOT!! YOUR ARE LOOKING OUT FOR WHAT IS BEST FOR YOUR FAMILY. IF IT IS AFFECTING THE THE JOB AND LIFE AND MOST I'MPORTANTLY ( IM PRETTY SURE ) THE SEX LIFE, IT IS A PROBLEM.!!! SIT DOWN WITH HIM OVER SOME NICE DINNER WITH HIM AND LET HIM SEE IN YOUR EYES THAT YOU ARE WORRIED ABOUT HIM. AFTER THAT, MAKE GOOD LOVE AND LET HIM SEE WHAT HE IS MISSING NOT GOING TO BED WITH YOU AT 9 OR 10PM . TRUST ME A FULL STOMACH AND LOVE MAKING EVERY NIGHT MIGHT MAKE HIM THINK ABOUT IT. PLUS HE WELL REALIZE HOW GOOD HE FEELS THE NEXT T DAY AND PERFORM BETTER AT THE JOB . NOW IF THAT DONT WORK ..IF I WERE YOU , I'LL SPY OM HIM AND SEE WHAT HE IS DOING ON LINE....HOPE YOU TAKE MY ADVISE!!
2006-10-28 04:39:37 · answer #6 · answered by pretty me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is so harsh or unfair about that? It will help him with his sleeping habits and ultimately with other aspects of his life. I mean, if he disagrees you can't force him, but it is a good suggestion to make.
2006-10-28 13:12:44 · answer #7 · answered by DownAndOut 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if your husband stays online till 10 instead of midnite or 1 am, that's still too much time to spend online. I think you should help him with his online addiction, and slowly help him to start enjoying his real life
2006-10-28 04:19:08 · answer #8 · answered by Das 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i think thats a good idea to many of us people are to hooked up on here..i know lol i used to be like that when i first used the net now i cut down alot got other things to do why don't you both try to talk about it?
2006-10-28 04:22:01 · answer #9 · answered by pisceslady a 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
NO! Weed him off computer games, they spur no social development in a marriage environment which is vital to its success. Keep it up, hopefully, there will be no more computer games in the future.
2006-10-28 05:06:08 · answer #10 · answered by Unfortunate Soul 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋