baby trouble? can you HELP?

Question

I have a daughter she is a month and 8 days old. I breast feed, thats pretty much the only way i get her 2 sleep is if i feed her. thats not my only problem, when she finally gets to sleep i will put her down in her own bed but she will literally wake up 5 mins later and cry. I know thier is nothing wrong with her, she just wants to be held because when i do pick her up i usally put her back to the beast because thats all she wants. she will go straight back to sleep but as soon as i put her down any where she will wake up and cry. Im reading this baby book and it says you can NOT spoil your child at this age. it also says when she cries she really needs something but i know she is ok if she can fall asleep in my arms weather im feeding her or holding her. ive tried lettering her cry but its so hard for me too do... do you think i should let her cry because this could become a bad habbit? I just dont understand why i have to be holding her for her to sleep. i get nothing done

Answer 1

Ugh, I went through exactly the same thing!!!
It's great that you're breastfeeding. I did for 2 years, and the only way my baby would fall asleep was at the breast, until she turned two, when I weaned her. Putting her down to sleep was awful because she'd wake up as soon as I'd move away from her. I couldn't bear to let her cry it out, though.
I know what you're going through. If I could go back and do it over, I might have tried doing SOME bottle feedings as well, at least I would have known for sure that she wasn't falling asleep hungry. I also heard about not spoiling them, and letting them cry it out, but I didn't... I always carried my baby and held her when she cried, and fed her to sleep. She's three now, and is doing just fine-- I don't think I damaged her in any way!!

Answer 2

Wow, that is so much like my first baby. I went four days of almost no sleep and her on six hours a day- straight. When she was just three weeks old or so. She would wake up if I even moved her, like lay her down. I got so tired I finally learned to let her sleep on my chest, even though I didnt want her to. It was the *only* way. She did grow out of it after a little while, but each baby will have their own way, and they really don't control how it goes.
Do not let her cry, she won't be spoiled at so young an age, and in fact will learn that you don't care as much, because she needs that attention very much right now. Letting her cry can start at about four months, depending on you and her.
Babies also do sleep better with formula, and if you don't give her a bottle until a few weeks old, she will most likely prefer the breast, and won't give up on it. But maybe could give her a bottle at night, before bed, or a few during day, keeping to same schedule everyday- some moms do this for hours they are at work, and breastfeed at home. The body produces the milk at the times of regular feedings, and baby gets the good breastmilk stuff.
Just remember, most of all, *you* find what works for baby and you best, and listen to your doctor- up to point of he/she interfering with what works.
May God give you both sweet sleep. Good luck.

Answer 3

The book is right. You can't spoil an infant. They cry to communicate a need. Don’t let her train you though or you’ll have a hard time undoing it. We found though that by keeping a VERY strict and consistent bedtime ritual our baby slept wonderfully from about 3 weeks on.

We use a heartbeat sound machine to provide a soothing and constant noise in my daughter’s room, and a friend of mine uses a fish tank where the bubbles from the filter provide a constant hum.

Right since day one we'd play music at naptimes and put on the heartbeat sound through the night. The baby learned the difference, knew what it meant when the different sounds were playing and did exactly what she had to do from about 3 weeks. She'd sleep for 1-2 hours with the music and 8-10 with the heartbeat.

If you try this, my one recommendations is NEVER play the night sound during the day though or it screws everything up... we brought the heartbeat sound to a babysitter's during the day once knowing that it got her to sleep and it took us a few nights to undo THAT mistake.

Also, realize that babies need to suck... it's natural. Consider a pacifier if she'll take one.

My baby loves her soo-soo. She's a sucker and had her hand in her mouth at all my fetal assessments before she was born (I had gestational diabetes so we saw her lots.)

I gave her a pacifier in the hospital the 2nd night after she was born (because the nurses wanted me to feed her every time they saw her with her hand in her mouth.) We've never had a problem with it, (no nipple confusion, no demanding it all the time) but we only give it to her in her crib (we keep a spare in there too in a consistent location so she can find it during the night if the first one goes missing in her blankets or gets tossed out.) She also uses it in her car seat and occasionally at church when she gets all riled up and we can't quiet her down any other way. Otherwise we just keep it COMPLETELY out of sight and entertain her with other toys. During the day she only wants it if she sees it.

Limiting use the way we have we have a healthy happy 11 month old who's walking and chattering away all day long and likes a soother at night, but tosses them both out of her crib on her own by morning.

We plan to restrict it to in her bed only at 18 months, give her the whole "big girls don't need soothers" song and dance, and cut the tip when she turns 2.

On the crying front:

This is how they communicate their needs. Often being overstimulated causes the 'releasing pent up stress'. The most common reason I found with my baby though is that she had a little burp hidden away somewhere. (If you're always nursing your baby to sleep, waking crying because of a burp is certainly a possibility.)

Check out:

Seven reasons babies cry and how to soothe them at:

http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/9790.html

This is the BEST article I ever found on this topic!!

When I brought my newborn home I printed it out and posted it by the change table as a reminder (like a check list.) Then when my baby would cry (and I couldn't immediately figure out why) rather than getting frustrated I'd go consult the list. (Half the time on the walk there the baby would stop crying - she just needed a change of scenery. Plus when we got there I'd give her a little 5 minute baby massage and she loved it.)

Good luck!!

Answer 4

At one month (and 8 days) your baby is NOT going to get spoiled by you holding her. She has only been out of your womb for a short time and is still adjusting to life in the world. As a new mother, I know that you may feel overwhelmed and tired, but this is life as a mother. It never really changes. Just the children do. A baby this small only has you and cries because she is hungry, scared, tired, or just needs you to hold her. Give yourself some time to adjust too. Do you have anyone that can help you get some extra rest. Pump some milk and freeze it so that you can take a nap and someone else can feed her and tend to her needs.
I have included a PDF file that can give you some great help with this new being in your life. You will be a great mom if you go by your instincts more than by books.
http://www.nmcyfar.org/newsletter_pdf/1.pdf

Answer 5

I think tighten the swadling is good. I did it to my son and it worked. You can also try pacifier if you havent' already. it is only obvious that she loves the sucking motion. My son had a pacifier too. Once the pacifier is out of her mouth when she falls asleep, take it out, don't put it back into her mouth so she doesn't get too used to the pacifier. My son only used pacifier when he went to sleep. I weaned him from it at 9 mos. I did let him cry a little bit especially when I tried to wean him from the pacifier. He sleeps without it now. When he was a new born, I would turn on the white noise from the radio. I would swadled him and rocked him. Try the pacifer and rock him for a little bit and then put her down. See if she would fall asleep with the pacifier. Good luck! sometimes, try to let her go to sleep when she is tired. I am not sure if she has a schedule, but she doesn't. Let her sleep when she is tired (not overly tired). Good luck!

Answer 6

Even the sleep training creeps NEVER recommend letting a baby cry at this age. She has only been out of your body for 5 weeks, of course she wants that closeness.
You could always co-sleep, then you wouldn't have to get up all night. Another option is to side-car her crib next to your bed, so she is used to sleeping init, but is within arm's reach of her mama.

You should get a sling and wear her close to you when you can. i like the MayaWrap, Hotsling and the Ergo. Sadly, my 20 month old, breastfed son no longer wants to be carried :-(.

******************She will not become spoiled!****************************

A wise woman once said "children, like food, spoil when they are cast aside and forgotten about."

it is not a bad habit to seek comfort when you are startled or lonely. Your baby is all needs at this age. They do not have wants, just needs. Your job is to meet those needs so that she will grow up feeling secure and trusting.

A really helpful book on the subject is "The happiest baby on the Block" it is a life saver for sure. The Dr. who wrote it highly recommends swaddling, as it helps the baby feel secure when you cannot hold her.

If you have things you must do without the babe, I would suggest a swing. Just don't fall into the trap of using it as a babysitter. Babies thrive on close contact and their mother's milk!-)

Answer 7

She might have colic. Laying her down on her back could give her wind. Go to the pharmacist and ask for something for colic. It usually comes in medicine form and it helps babies burp. She is a the right age to have this. My daughter suffered from colic and every time I lay her down on her back, she would start screaming. I would pick her up and cradle her, and she would calm down, but it was a vicious circle. It was only when I realised she was suffering from colic, I was able to help her and we could both sleep soundly.

Give it a try. If she is not suffering from colic, then I think there must be something else wrong. Maybe she is just an extremely hungry baby. Just try to make sure that you are winding her properly, because trapped wind can hurt.

Answer 8

a child health nurse advised me that a baby, even this young, can cry for what appears no reason; in fact what they are doing is letting out their stresses before they sleep. I had heaps of trouble with the crying too, so what I did is get a bassinet that had wheels, put it in the lounge so I could sit on my rocking chair and gently rub him until he fell asleep. Once asleep it was fine, because he wasn't used to the cuddle. This lasted for six months, and now he hated being cuddled at night.

I found this way to be good, because while he still did cry I felt that I was doing something without effecting his sleep habits.

Answer 9

All my babies were like that....she is really probably crying, because she is getting cold and your body is nice and warm....she snuggles in and goes right back to sleep. However, this is why I always ended up co-sleeping with my babies. It gave me a sense of security to know they were right there and safe. It gave them easy access to the breast. They become like little puppies and just find it on their own, so you do not have even wake up as they get older. Do not let her cry it out....they are only little once, and they grow up so fast....enjoy this time when you are the center of her universe....all too soon she will find other things she likes better. Love her and snuggle her now why you can.

Answer 10

You can't spoil her by holding her too much. I held my kids a lot when they were babies, but at the same time, I wouldn't breast feed her every time she cries. Babies have different cries for different needs, but it is going to take some time to learn them. All cries to not mean hunger. If you just fed her she's not hungry. I would try a pacifier. Babies natural reflex is to suck, and it helps to sooth them. And so does snug swaddling.